Crazy Boosh Girl Gives Me a Call

So when I was on Sasha’s bootcamp I gave my number out to a girl I met in Soho Square. She was a little kooky to be honest – she seemed to be obsessed with The Mighty Boosh, in a way that suggested she thought it was some kind of grittily realistic documentary rather than a surreal comedy – but seemed nice enough so I didn’t mind the opportunity to meet her again.

However yesterday I received a call from a number I didn’t recognise. The girl announced herself as Katie, and asked if I’d heard the song she’d left on my voice mail. Now my phone / network is shit and it doesn’t tell me when I have voice messages so I hadn’t picked it up.

Anyway it turns out that she then wanted to have a jam over the phone to try to write a song. Now I don’t know if anyone else has tried this but I can’t see myself as ever being able to “jam” and write songs over a phone call. I was starting to doubt her sanity. Even more.

But I was still trying to remember who this girl was. Not because I’ve got so many girls calling me (if only…) but because we are auditioning for new singers in the band and I couldn’t remember where I had met this girl, and why she contacted me.

Turns out we met in Soho Square and then I remembered who she was, and so with that cleared up I now had to try and explain to her that you simply can’t jam over the phone. She started to suggest we meet up at an open mic night that very same day. Well I planned on doing fuck all on Sunday and didn’t fancy changing my plans. Plus it sounded like she would have trouble travelling anywhere – she didn’t have any money on her Oyster card and didn’t know how to cycle to the place we needed to go (apparently using a map wasn’t part of her plan).

This was rapidly getting more and more surreal. I suggested meeting up sometime later, although that was going to he hard for me as I have a packed week of sarging (!) and I’m leaving to go travelling on Friday for a couple of weeks. She then mentioned something about going to Wales, how I could visit her there, and stuff like that.

I was trying to veer the conversation more towards a “don’t call us, we’ll call you” kind of situation, but she kept talking. She clearly wanted to meet up with me, and as I tried to delay things more and more she said “I really like your accent…”

I felt really sorry for the girl. It seemed clear that she liked me but she was so random and scatty that I just knew that it would be a nightmare, no matter how sweet or attractive she was. I’ve done my time with freaks and psychos in the past and I don’t really want to waste my time like that again, not matter how desperate I am for sex (and I’m not that desperate thankfully).

I managed to end the call eventually, and by then it was clear to her that we weren’t really going to meet up, even though I kept up the pretence that I was going to arrange something after I came back from Europe. I was a bit weirded out, but also felt sorry for the girl. The call lasted 20 minutes. That’s 20 minutes I’ll never get back!