Sunday, 11 October 2009

Uno, dos, tres, quattro: I know you want me

Beliefs, affirmations, social knowledge

OK something fun happened yesterday and to me it demonstrates a few interesting points.


So I’ve been on holiday in South East Asia, I flew back yesterday, my plane landed at about 7.30 pm and I was home by 9.00.

Saturday night

I was hoping that there would be some people at home as I’d made no plans for the night and didn’t want to call people up and make arrangements, I just wanted to hang out with my friends. Luckily my two best friends were at home (or rather, next door): German chefs 1 and 2.

Two naturals, the german chefs

Both these guys are good with women and know nothing about “game”. German chef 1 is good looking and has a great personality though doesn’t really open much. He was recently jumped on in a bar by a hot Turkish girl who started kissing him … in front of her boyfriend. Probably just a jealousy ploy but the point is he gets attention. German chef 2 isn’t good looking but dresses well, and his game centres around being totally arrogant, cocky, taking the piss out of the girl and being very direct and sexual from the start. He gets a lot of women, mainly from social circle and rarely from bar pick up.

We meet up, have some cans and a spliff and start to have a party at the house. But we need to go out so we hop on the bus to Fulham to try to get into the Slut and Legless (The Slug and Lettuce). Needless to say by the time we get to the bus stop we’re pretty wasted.

Eye contact in street

As we’re walking down the street I lock eyes with a girl and she keeps it until we pass. She wants me.

Every girl wants me

Every girl wants me. It’s funny, on my trip round SE Asia I was travelling with my AFC mate and I would often point out girls and say “she fancies me” or something similar. Of course my AFC mate thought I was an idiot because it’s so far out of his (negative) reality. I take that as a compliment. It’s what I believe. I’ve no idea if it’s true, but the idea is that if you think it is, it either will be or you’ll find out a way to make it so. Any sign you get that she’s interested means it’s on, and anything can be a sign. You could says it’s “having the frame” or something, I just know it works.


This comes from affirmations. I’ve tried using affirmations in the past and I found they didn’t work. That’s mainly because (a) I had too many of them, so my mind couldn’t focus, and (b) they were too extreme, too outside my reality for me to take myself seriously, and therefore they didn’t get through to the subconscious.

So last year I started with one simple affirmation, that I was good looking. I kept on repeating this to myself, not religiously but every time I remembered. Slowly I started to dress better (or believe that I dressed better), I went to the gym and got in better shape, I noticed when girls were looking at me or when someone paid me a compliment. I found the affirmation worked.

So having solved that I started with a new affirmation – girls like me. I’m good with girls. “Every girl wants me” is a bit too strong actually and too unbelievable though I’ll say it from time to time, and sometimes as a joke, but “girls like me” or “I’m good talking to girls” really seems to work for me.

I have girls in my social circle and I found myself getting on with them even better. Twice this year I went on weekends away with two girl friends. I got to know how they worked even better, got more experience of their typical behaviours.

Eye contact in bar

So back to the story. As we walked into the bar (not the S&L, that was closing) I locked eyes with another girl. I didn’t do anything about it straight away as we were sorting out drinks and I needed the loo. Anyway when we came back I observed the girl from afar. She was on her own. In a bar (fairly quiet actually) late on a Saturday night. She’d already locked eyes with me. When German Chef 1 went to the bar to get the next round I motioned for him to chat her up. I think he may have said a few words though I can’t remember. What is important is that she definitely knew he was there. Like I said he’s good looking and so to grab his attention, she leant with her back against the bar, elbows on the bar, basically showing off her tits. But German Chef 1 not having much game didn’t do anything about it.

Body language

The girl wanted cock. It was easy to see. I told my friends and we all joked about it in a guy kinda way, oh yeah, she wants is bad. But although we were joking I knew it was true. Like I said, already locked eyes with me, flirted with my mate, and she was on her own in a bar

Dare to open

Given that I told my mates, being the cheeky chappies that they are they then placed a bet. Five pound to go up to her and say “I wanna be on you” a la Ron Burgundy, the greatest of all PUA gurus. The other guy bet ten pounds. “You’re on” I said and went up to the bar to do it.

Body positioning

As I approached she had her back to me, facing the bar. I knew she knew we were looking at her so I knew she was aware of me. As I approached the bar I made sure to slow right down almost so she would catch sight of me or sense me before I got there. Sounds a bit “woo-woo” but it’s an instinctive thing and hard to put into words.

I didn’t have the guts to open straight away and I ordered the round. I thought about the line and tried to think of a way to make it work when I burst out laughing at the actual thought of doing it. I turned round to my friends who were watching me and we all laughed. It was silly, fun.

Anyway I opened her instead with my killer line: “Hello” said with a sense of obviousness (as we both know why we’re talking to each other) and a cheeky smile (ditto, it’s going to be fun). We said a couple of lines and then she says “Did your mates put you up to this?” In retrospect this could be seen as a shit test but it was obvious to her what was going on, as indeed it was to me.

“There was a bet, yes” I replied. This got her in on the fun. I also go for honesty every time. No point in lying. Unless… (see below…)
“What was the bet?” she asked.
In a split second, my evil mind thought of the perfect answer. I go for lying every time.
“To kiss” I replied.


And with that, she jumped me and, in the words of one of my mates who were still watching, we were “kissing like porn stars.” She even hooked her leg up on the side.

We did that for a bit and then stopped. I looked at my mates and their jaws were on the floor. I’ll be here, sitting in the corner, stroking my ego. Thanks.


Then I turned my attention back to the girl. I asked her about herself. She was from Sweden. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, she had an awesome body, looong legs, average face. Definitely doable. But she had an Australian accent from either living with Australians or in Australia, I can’t remember exactly. Which explains her obvious (to me) open sexual behaviour. There are few countries where the women are more comfortable with being openly sexual than Sweden and Australia. And when you put those both together, then… wow.

Anyway I asked her if she knew Anchorman, she did and she loved it (always a good sign). I quoted the line and won the bet.

Number close fail

So we had chatted for a bit but I was tired from the trip – I’d been up for close to 24 hours by now. She asked me for a drink which I bought her – after all I was now £15 up so it wasn’t a problem. Some people might call supplication but I wasn’t worried about that. Like I said she wanted cock and she was ready to be pulled then and there. But as I was tired I didn’t want to deal with that – which was a mistake but you make your own decisions. I tried for the number close. “what is the best way to keep in contact with you?” I asked her.

“You don’t,” she replied.

There are many great responses to that which I could have said to keep things going. “It’ll just have to be tonight then,” would be great, “stalking it is then,” would make me laugh at least, ignoring the response and keeping on flirting would have done just fine. The line a said at the time was “Well, a man’s gotta try.” Shortly after that I returned to the table. But it wasn’t over yet.

Return to mates, Other guy tries

So I rejoin my mates and we all have a good laugh and they high five me. While we’re chatting I see another guy goes up to her and chats to her. I can’t see their faces so I can’t see how it’s going, not that I’m bothered. But it can’t have been going well as after a few minutes she looks over to me and I signal for her to come and join our table.

Joins our table

She does so and says that she had to get away from the other guy by saying she was going to come and “join her friends” i.e. us. That other guy must have no game. Still, I hope it was a valuable lesson for him.

Wing fail

So when she joined us there was only me and German Chef 2. Like I said before his game is total arrogance and when she turned up she was all touchy feely on his tattoos, he on the other hand just acted like she was the most irritating thing in the world ever.

The trouble for me is that I haven’t yet worked out how to deal with this kind of situation. Girl is up for it with either of us, we’re maintaining some kind of social relationship, my mate’s attitude is total arrogance, I’m more normal conversation and having fun. The two don’t mix naturally. In retrospect I think I just don’t need to worry about it, be totally OK with everything, and keep teasing and having fun with the girl. Total arrogance does have a habit of really changing the energy of the interaction which is something I need to work with.

Anyway all that is an explanation of why I was thrown. I can’t remember how it ended exactly, but we all went home shortly after. I hope that girl found the guy she was looking for to give her the good hard fucking she wanted. I was using tiredness and social context as an excuse but it was an interesting lesson all the same.


Beliefs: girls like me
Affirmations work if used properly
Eye contact is goodI can read body language well
Honest works every time, except when lying works better…
Social knowledge: a girl alone in a bar late on a Saturday evening wants cock, wants it now and wants it hard and fast.

Thursday, 8 October 2009

This Means Nothing to Me... Oh, Vienna!

So I'm on holiday with my ultra-AFC mate, who I previously did a brief bit of travelling with last year through Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand. [link] On that trip we made a drunken promise while watching the inaugural Formula One Singapore Grand Prix, and that was to attend the event next year in person. And so it came to pass that just a little over a year later, we were in Singapore watching Lewis Hamilton claim a dominating victory through the streets of the city state.

I had also made a promise to myself never to go travelling with my AFC mate ever again, as he hates being out of his comfort zone and thus complains a lot about irrelevant shit, doesn't know how to have fun and generally has a habit of ruining the mood.

Well something had to give, I really wanted to go to the grand prix and didn't have anyone else to go with so the decision was made. One and a half weeks in and it's been fine. To be honest I've learnt to accept his foibles more and not react to them so badly. This had also meant that I'm more at ease when talking to other people as I know I can contextualise his behaviour and be OK with it and thus not come across as uncomfortable myself because of his presence. Also he's loosened up a bit – though not much – and is happy with me taking the lead on most things.

So anyway as we'd flown all the way out to south east Asia we thought we might as well do a bit of travelling and make it a full holiday and to cut a long story short we ended up in the tropical paradise of the Perhentian Islands off the north east coast of peninsular Malaysia.

We moved into our cabin in the hills overlooking the beach and a while later the girl in the hut next door was sitting on the balcony. I made sure to say Hi – after all this is travelling and everyone's out to meet new people, most of the time. We were in the middle of doing something so didn't have time to stop and talk but I made sure I'd registered with her as a sociable person.

The next time we met her I asked her the standard questions – her name, where she was from (Vienna), how long she had been travelling for etc. – and got to know her a bit. Basic stuff, just shooting the breeze. As she was on her own I invited her to join us for dinner as any opportunity to have someone else to talk to is a good thing (even though me and my friend were getting on fine).

The important thing to mention here is that when I have a conversation with a new person, my focus is to have fun and make it exciting for both of us. That doesn't necessarily mean that it will be a riotous laugh or appear anything more than general chit chat, but the attitude is there and people pick up on it.

So we went to find a restaurant, we didn't know where we were going, there was one place we hadn't tried out yet which was down a path back from the beach. My friend in hilariously negative fashion said, half way down the path, “there probably isn't anything there, it doesn't look good, let's go back.” Basically he was giving up without even trying, one of the many qualities that makes him the AFC that he is.

Anyway I essentially ignored him (I'd learnt not to react either internally or externally to his more negative comments) and kept going. Sure enough we found a great restaurant with good food and good value too. We found a table and had our meal. The conversation was fine but the energy was a bit low as we were tired from the day's activities. After the meal we went to a bar and sat on the sand and drank in the light of candles and the nearly full moon that made everything pale silver and indigo. I was struck by indigestion so found it hard to keep the conversation going, my AFC friend really didn't make that much of an effort (amusingly afterwards he said “that girl was a bit quiet, wasn't she?” not realising his responsibility in this regard) and she did what she could but as we all know, it's not her responsibility to take the lead. We called it a night, not before she gave me some schnapps for my indigestion, which surprisingly worked. I was thinking of asking her to rub aftersun into my sunburn but the moment wasn't right.

Incidentally this girl was fat but not in an obese way Рvoluptuous is the clich̩ but it's true. There were no rolls of fat thankfully, and she had a pretty face which is important for me.

The next day the script basically repeated itself with me inviting her out and us going to a bar afterwards, except this time there was more talking, more fun and less indigestion. If we were going to be old school we could say I was dropping loads of DHVs by talking about various events that had happened on previous times I had been travelling, but we were just having a conversation, having fun. I did shamelessly mention the time I rescued a trapped puppy on a beach in Goa – I mean, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. But anyway. We also watched two kittens comically stalk and attack each other while bats flew overhead and the moon inched its way even closer to being full.

We all had to get up early the next day so we called it a night at a sensible hour.

The next day my friend and I went snorkelling and I made friends with a hot Swiss chick, and we made arrangements to meet up in the same restaurant as before for dinner. So me and my friend, the Swiss girl and the Viennese neighbour all met up at the restaurant. The girl next door also bought along a friend of hers that she had met, a hot Australian girl with an English accent from travelling for two years. And then another female friend turned up. So there were us two guys on a table with four girls, two hot, one OK and one not so hot. Either way, I felt like a pimp.

I unconsciously made sure to make friends with everybody, just doing general chit chat. Halfway through the meal a massive thunderstorm erupted over the island and as the rain fell on the tin roof of the restaurant it made so much noise that we couldn't hear each other. Luckily there was a film showing on a projector with subtitles, so that occupied us for a while. It was Management with Jennifer Anniston, unsurprisingly it was a romcom. It was enjoyable enough though and at the end all the girls were loving it. My mate totally added to the mood by saying “Well that was shit.” His life really is full of fun.

Needless to say we all ignored him and carried on talking about something else. I can't remember much about what we talked about to be honest, but we kept it light and cracked jokes as and when we could. He Viennese girl every now and then touched me under the table with her foot. It was on. I just had not to fuck it up. I didn't return her touch incidentally, it somehow felt wrong.

There was more inadvertent DHVing when it became clear to both the Swiss and Austrian girls that I could speak both German and French, even though the only French I said was a de rien to a preceding merci. My French isn't as good as my German, but it was enough for the Swiss girl to mention how unusual it was for an English person to speak both French and German. Most can't speak either.

I don't know how but for some reason we got to talking about dance moves and so I ran through my repertoire of comedy dance moves – the infamous big fish, little fish, cardboard box which surprisingly they didn't know about. Then there were a couple of other ones that I use – stacking the shelves and feeding the chickens. One of the girls told me one move I didn't know – dealing the cards. I'm nicking that. We all had a good laugh and a good time.

Once the rain had eased off and we had worked our way through a small bottle of vodka we made our way to the next bar back down the path to the beach. It was playing pumping dance music and rap songs and it wasn't long before I persuaded the Viennese girl to dance. Having been snorkelling for most of the day I was nice and loose and the moves were coming very easily. We started off things with some hardcore grinding. We were having fun and we basically got the whole party started in there, soon the dancefloor was full and everyone was joining in though naturally I was the star of the dancefloor, even if I do say so myself. My friend even joined us, even though he doesn't like dancing. He was caught up in the mood and enjoying himself. He saw through his own limitations and realised it was more important to enjoy himself than be self-conscious about whether he could dance or not. A random Swedish guy made friends with us.

Anyway the Swiss girl went to bed just after we reached the dancefloor, and my friend did the same about half an hour later. After he left I got us a couple more drinks and then in a minute she jumped me and we tore into each other. Five minutes of that and she suggested we go swimming. I said yes but had no intention, simply because I had my camera in my pocket and it was still raining, chances are it would get wrecked if I left my shorts on the beach. On the beach I convinced her to go back to the huts.

We returned to the huts, went inside, ripped our clothes off and got to it. Once again my little chap, only too excited early in the evening, when it came to the bed wasn't interested. A bit of oral from the girl helped but waiting for the condom ruined that. Eventually we had to calm down and leave it. We had a quick shower and laid down to sleep. She said I could go home if I wanted. I declined – most nights I wake up with a raging boner anyway so I thought I could use that to my advantage.

After a while of lying there we started touching again and I got to work on her with my mouth. The relaxation that we had must have helped both of us. She came just from nipple stimulation, which was a first for me. By the time I worked down to her pussy she was bucking and moaning like a trooper. I was hard again but once again in the wait for the condom it lost interest. However this time was different, with a bit of dirty talk the interest was back and minutes later we were fucking like rabbits.

Spent, we both lay to go to sleep again. Unsurprisingly a short while later she wanted to go again and this time there was no losing interest in the wait for the condom. A good, hard fucking later, we finally went to sleep.

The important lesson here was learning how to deal with the problems in the bedroom. As she said afterwards, “I'm glad you didn't give up”

Don't give up. Very true.

A couple of other things to note:

While in bed she said to me: “I like the way you move,” quoting the cheesy techno song that was playing in the bar. I got the moves.

Also, it was her last night in the Perhentian Islands, so she was looking to get laid before she left.

Another important thing that I've mentioned before is that I took my chances. Last year in Goa I had three different girls showing interest in me, and I didn't fuck any of them, I just let it pass me by. I didn't make that mistake this time.

Got the Austrian flag.