Saturday, 31 May 2008

Elevate Me Later

So I turn up at Jrink at about 8.30, and there’s no one else there. Well there’s always an opportunity to fly solo and open some sets on my own. Except like the last but one time I was sarging (see the Out of Routine post) I was coming into this cold, and the fear was causing me to freeze. After five minutes I was actually sweating, and something needed to change. Thinking back to last night I thought going for a walk and opening sets on the street would help, so I did (see 60’s fantastic post about this here).

After a lot of walking and only opening a couple of sets, I began to think of the really obvious way I could open a set – “I’m waiting for my friends and you guys look friendly so I’ll hang out with you.” That’s exactly what I did and the set I opened turned out to be the most fun people in the club. One girl even spontaneously starting playing pat-a-cake with me, which was mega-surreal I can tell you.

So Jake, Dave, Stan, and new guy Mark turned up, and Trev turned up later. After a bit of chat I knew I needed to open so I used my standard hair opener to get me in the mood. The last time I had the fear, I actually didn’t want to use this as I knew it would work and wanted to do something different – but that challenge was only making things worse. Having realised this, I knew I could open with it and not worry about my own internally constructed and irrelevant standards.

It worked a treat on two girls next to be and I also could add in the next follow up – “So, how do you guys know each other?” A quick chat and I was on my way.

I can’t remember why I started it but I asked Jake to challenge me with a subject to open with, to see if we could do it successfully. I then challenged him back and this is what we came up with:

Jake’s subject: American Football
My opener: “Hey, quick question, do you think American footballers with their shoulder pads are weird, and that Rugby players are cool, or vice versa?”
Response: “American footballers are weird.”

My subject: Cheese
Jake’s opener: “What’s your favourite cheese?” (I think, can’t remember it properly
Response: girl didn’t know or couldn’t hear, but with a bit of explanation (!) she chose Brie

Jake’s subject: Carrots
My opener (to three girls): “Hey, quick question. We’re having a debate – you know the old wives’ tale that carrots can make you see in the dark?”
“Well, do you actually know that that’s true? I mean, we all kind of believe it, but how do we know? We’re told it’s true and then just accept it like some massive governmental conspiracy or something!” (with humour)
“Yeah it’s true”
“So how do you know, I mean, have you experienced it for yourself?” (humorous challenge)
“Well there is scientific proof, but it only improves your sight by a small amount.”
“OK cool, so are you a biologist or pharmacologist or something?”
“So where did you read that report?” (humorous challenge again)
“Erm, BBC News!” (embarrassed and laughing)

My subject: Chess
Jake’s opener: “Hey, quick question, we’re having a debate. Do you think that chess is nerdy and for geeks, or cool and intelligent, like some 60 year old guy playing it in Central Park?”
Response: “Cool”

Jake then challenged me with the subject of Pot Plants, but we had burned out the sets so I didn’t get to thinking of an opener for that. I’ll have to though!

As with my learning from the previous I tried to persist in the sets a bit longer than just the opener, which I managed to do a bit, and I can feel myself getting better at that.

The venue was pretty good. In comparison to On Anon, it was smaller, so less sets, busier, so easier to randomly talk to people, full of way hotter chicks, by a country mile, and people seemed to be enjoying themselves a lot more. In general it was 100% better than On Anon, which I now realise I’ve never liked much really, and definitely one to go back to. The only problem is running out of sets.

After we decided to move on, we went to a random indie bar in Wardour Street that Mark knew about. This was interesting as I have spent most of my twenties in indie bars generally not being able to pull anyone. There was that one time when I ended up fingering a girl on the side of the dancefloor at Club X, but that only happened once. Generally in that context I’m not too great. Plus the male female ratio is usually pretty bad.

So once we got there I immediately felt the same feelings – loved the music, playing many hits from the height of Britpop – standout track has to be Bluetonic – but not much motivation or opportunity to open and sarge. We did have a good old chat though and a couple of interesting things popped up.

Firstly that Mark read Ross Jeffries' book “How to Get Women…” and said that it was “too powerful.” Jake and I thought this was amazing. Here was a skillset that got women into bed TOO EASILY, such that Mark felt it was morally wrong! Now I totally understand Mark’s objection, but that isn’t going to prevent me from trying it myself to see if it has the same effect on me. I’ve ordered it from Amazon this morning (click on the link above to get it)!

The other thing about that is that from what I’ve read of the Speed Seduction techniques is that it seems too complicated or hard to remember, and I wasn’t 100% sure that it would work. So to hear that it was easy to pick up, and too powerful, was mind blowing. Word of mouth is the best marketing you can get. Definitely want to try that for myself.

The other thing that came up was that Stan said that I was the coolest person he’d met, from the bunch of aspiring PUAs that we’d formed. I include this here not to big myself up (though of course that won’t hurt now, will it? ;oP) but because it was a surprise for me and also a real honour. Thinking back I then thought of the reasons why (I treat people as I expect to be treated, I help others out where I can, I guess I’m a bit older so I can see things from a wider perspective) but I didn’t ask him why he thought that, so I’ll have to find out the next time I see him.

After a while on the dancefloor and getting nowhere as I had forgotten the rules of dancefloor game (dance with pure energy and enjoyment, and don’t care about what other people are thinking) we bailed as there was nothing else to do, and pretty much called it a night.

One other thing I consciously focussed on that night was to increase the volume of my voice and its projection, so I wasn’t leaning in so much. I notice I do lean in a bit, and also I don’t necessarily think of it as a problem (as I have a bigger problem hearing people usually!) but the general rule is not to do this, so I focussed on standing straight and talking louder. I did almost go hoarse at one point! I also subconsciously remembered to be the fun, energetic guy most of the time, which was good.

As we were walking back to the bus stop, one thing I mentioned to Trev is that because of this learning experience, I have become more talkative, more sociable and more confident in my general life as well. There’s more to pick up than getting hot chicks…

Lessons learned:
- Break the fear by basic street opening
- Start off with the hair opener to get things up to speed
- You can open any subject if you think about it for a couple of minutes
- On Anon really is pretty shit – it’s only got its size going for it
- Indie bars aren’t great either, despite the awesome music.
- Remember dancefloor game
- This is going well

Friday, 30 May 2008

Open Up

So I met up with a new wing today, called Jay. It was his first time sarging, so I went through my now world-famous (!) Opening 101 course. We were in some random bar in New Oxford Street called The Fly, which seemed to have some band playing downstairs and some girls dressed in space suits with blue Princess Leia hair. You know, the ususal. This set us up for a great situational opener (what on god's earth was going on?!?). Despite initial nerves from never having done it before, Jay opened his first set after I did a quick demo, and he immediately felt the first rushes of a new-found confidence.

We chatted after and I had a few tips to help him improve - speak with a loud commanding voice, have a slightly higher energy level, be the Mr. Fun, Charismatic guy, and lead and hold the attention of the group.

We opened another set each and it turned out that Jay had managed to gain a couple of names on the guest list from the girls he spoke to, so we could get to the band room downstairs. This was a sign of good work indeed, he was taking to it well. Pickup can get you other benefits than hot chicks...

After chatting to him about how he made it work, I realised that he had taken my advice and run with it, and that like an idiot I had completely failed to benefit from my own knowledge (I had opened my second set in much the same way as before, though I managed to persist a little longer). This was a major revelation for me, no matter how obvious it may seem in retrospect. A big learning. I am my own guru! But it was clear that Jay had some natural game, and was taking to this better than most, and could point out things to me as well.

So we saw the band, which was all the rock cliches rolled into one, and quit the room as it was too loud to talk to anyone anyway. We moved on and in between walking around the West End and taking different decisions as to where to go, we opened a whole bunch of people, with Jay challenging me to open regularly. He is probably the first person apart from Trev to do this regularly, which was an awesome benefit.

During this part of the night I saw a cute Mediterranean girl sitting on her own. I was just about to open her when I saw she was listening to her iPod. I used Gambler's iPod opener (signal for her to take it off, basically) and it worked. This was great as when I read it I had doubts, but given the good state I was in it stuck. I fluffed and joked with her a bit before ejecting, but my jokes and teasing were getting smoother and I was on a roll.

We were on our way to Verve when one of their hawkers started pitching to us. I joked and teased with him, and when we baulked at the cover charge (we were only going to stay for one drink) he let us in for free. Again, pickup can get you more than hot chicks...

We opened a few more sets inside but it wasn't very busy and we pretty much opened everyone that was there, so called it a night at that.

A very productive night. Lessons learned:
- Open with the right vibe: fun, loud, commanding, energetic.
- I am my own guru!
- Persistance, persistance, persistance, persistance, persistance, persistance (still need to work on this)
- Harness the power of the jokes and teasing. The force is strong in this one.
- Jay is a quality wing. Respect.
- Pickup can get you other benefits than hot chicks...

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

I've Seen the Future, and It Works

So what are my long term PUA goals? Incidentally, I think that it's key for everyone on this "journey" if you will, to define what they actually want out of it. As if you're not focussed on the goal, the chances are you'll give up if the negative stimuli get too strong, rather than seeing past that and still going for it. Also, you'll know when to stop, which can equally be a problem.

Well, I want to fuck a lot of girls. A lot of hot girls. You know, like the players do. I want to know that I will be able to seduce the hot women, and if I want, get the hot girls. Now I know that you're not going to get all of them, and indeed not being emotionally affected by rejection is very much a key skill, but having a level of success better than what I have now is key.

So I want to pull the hot girls. I want to have one night stands, and I don't care if that's "fool's mate". I'd like to have sex with over 100 women. I don't know if I will, but it's a number that I'd like to reach.

And I also want to settle down eventually. I want to have a hot girlfriend. I want to have a hot wife. Beautiful wife, beautiful children. That's my longest term goal in terms of this area of my life. I'm old enough now to know that I want to settle down soon (hence maybe not getting to 100 women) and the big aim out of all of this is finding a girl that has all the qualities needed to be my wife.

And hotness is just one of the qualities. And by hotness I mean beautiful face (even without make up), slender physique, medium sized breasts. Very open sexually. Confident in herself and her life outside the bedroom. Down to earth is an absolute MUST. No drama queens for me. Friendly. Likes similar music to me, though not the same. Intelligent.

Is that too much to ask? ;o)

Out of Routine

So I haven't been sarging in a while - only once in about ten days, and that was a bit of a wash out as I was just not feeling it. I opened a few sets to try and warm up with the simple "what's the time" opener but it didn't change anything, so I quit.

I realise now that I should have just worked through it. I know that being state independent is one of the keys to getting good at this but my negative / nervous state was just getting the better of me.

Also for some reason the knowledge that I didn't have anything to say after my openers was what was making me anxious I think. I need to fix that by coming up with some routines, and also just simply plowing through the "pain" barrier. After all, there is no set formula, just guidelines, and I need to test the limits to see how far I can go.

However I have found one other routine on a forum somewhere. It's a series of jokes starting with "How do you get a giraffe into a fridge?" which has had a very good success rate when I've been testing it with my mates and other acquaintances. So if I use the hair or party opener, then the giraffe joke and then perhaps the five questions challenge, it hopefully should be enough to transition into comfort, which I can handle fairly well. I'll have to try this out.

Sunday, 18 May 2008

A Reminder

Memo for future posts

Dancefloor game - my experiences
The problem with finding the right bar to go out to - On anon just goes on and on and on
Sarging fatigue - is that possible? ;o)
My long terms PUA goals
The Wrong Child / I am the Resurrection

A Whole New World

So I've been meeting up with a bunch of guys that I've met on the various PUA forums I've been visiting recently. They all seem really normal, down to earth guys, which is a relief! One of them is as mad as a hatter. One of them is perhaps a bit too cynical for my liking. The rest are fine, and pretty much everyone has difficulty opening. Or perhaps they don't have the motivation. I don't know.

Anyway, so we've been going out a bit and after a few nights of opening randomly, and also helping others to open (which I seem to be naturally good at for some reason). However I've now hit two walls, which is actually a good thing. It makes for an interesting challenge.

The first wall is that it quickly became apparent that my openers aren't consistently good enough. This in turn led to me finding it harder to approach. Which is strange, as normally that isn't a problem, and approaching is something that I can do quite well.

However I solved this problem by inventing a new opener, and this is something that is now working quite well. My opener is "Hey guys, I have a quick question for you. I'm thinking of growing my hair long, maybe down to the ears and have it a bit messy. I don't think growing it down to the shoulders is going to work on me. What do you think?" This is working consistently well. Obviously it doesn't work all of the time, but some sets have reasons not to be opened, and that's cool.

As a side note I've picked up a couple of other openers that seem to be working, which are jungle / eighties party (thanks JK!) and also the classic dental floss opener. I want to give these a bit more of a try in field to get them down.

The second sticking point has existed since before the first, and that's what to do after the opener. The Style answer is to rock and then ask, "So how do you guys know each other?" I need to try that. Another answer is to have more routines. I've recently read a giraffe routine that is comedy gold, I'll give that a shot as well. I can see this getting exciting

I Started Something I Couldn't Finish

So I've decided to focus a lot more consistently on "gaming" and work up my skill set to get to a place where I'm better than I am at the moment. I know this will require effort and in some respect it won't be fun, but then fun is a matter of perspective and I'll do my best to stay positive about it all.

In the past I've had some random good experiences. I've had girlfriends, though I wish they were hotter. I've had one night stands, though I would like more. Once I was in a bar and number closed three hot women within five minutes. That's a night I'd like to repeat. However, it also was one of the first nights that I had taken cocaine, and the excitement and adrenaline was surely a contributing factor. Some time after that I became a cocaine addict, so it wasn't all good. I gave up coke after a short while though.

My favourite openers have been "Hi, how's it going?" and "Hi, my names's Karlos" *shakes hand. I've also used, "Hey are you guys X nationality?" which does work even if it's wrong, and "Hey, are you guys from X?" where X is the town or nation that I'm visiting. I used that in Seattle recently and opened a couple of hot girls from New York. They worked in fashion, that's how hot they were. They weren't models though. That's how hot they weren't.