Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Another Night, and I Thought, “Well, Well…”

So this weekend has been unusual as for the first time in ages I haven’t had things to do with my flatmates and friends, so I have a second night out in a row to so gaming.

Before I head out I texted the girl from last night: “Hi naughty girl, hope you got back ok last night. I ended up talking to the crazy dancing guys, who turned out to be from Brazil. Who would’ve thought?! OK important question: would you rather be a pirate or a ninja?”

About an hour or two later she texts back with “Right at this moment and pirate because then I could wear stripy clothes and an eyepatch and drink lots of rum and sleep! I’m so tired! I’m at work at the mo. Are you out again this eve? xxx” So that sounds pretty good.

So I was in a positive state though tired as ever. I often wonder if I can ever solve this tiredness problem. But anyway, back to the details. I meet up with the guys in Pony and we all congratulate ourselves for last night. Soon Liam has opened a couple of girls and we gradually join them and have a chat. I’m not that attracted to them so I don’t get too involved. There’s a party going on behind us and I chat briefly to those girls. I could have made more of it but I don’t.

I go out to get some cash and come back. Then randomly Jon and I head upstairs. Jon is thinking about opening a couple of girls so I try and encourage him to do it. He stalls (again!) and so as I’m in a good state I go and do it instead. At first glimpse earlier I didn’t think they were too hot. But when I actually go and open them it turns out they are just my type, fun, pretty, intelligent, cool PR girls (although I have a problem with PR girls based on working experiences with them – they’re usually really inconsistent and flighty and cause lots of problems. But hey, I wasn’t launching a website with them on this occasion…)

One interesting thing about this set is for once I didn’t have an opener in mind as I walked up to them. I literally said the first thing that came into my mind as I approached them. One of them was looking at a text message and the first thing I said was “Hey, did you get the same text message as I did?” NO IDEA where that came from and I can’t remember her response but I didn’t have a follow up so I just paused for a second and laughed (but made it look like I was laughing for a particular reason and nothing to do with me having nothing to say).

I can’t remember what I said after that but somehow I managed to keep the conversation going and just chat to them a bit and throw the odd joke in here and there. The cool thing about it was that they were totally open to talking to me. I think they were reacting to my positive body language and balls for having opened them. And possibly the fact that I look damn hot (I like to tell myself!).

Anyway they were about to leave and I wasn’t sticking massively so I bid them adieu. After that I go to find Jon but he’s not where he was. Instead I catch the eye of a girl whose dancing and go up to her and say “Hello dancing girl!” It turns out she’s the girl with the clipboard so we have a quick chat but she’s got work to do so I let her do it. She leaves saying “See you on the dancefloor later!” Which is nice.

I meet up with the rest of the guys and while there’s now a good dancefloor going, Everyone’s standing around looking bored. I do a couple of circuits and briefly open one group of girls. Eventually I start dancing by myself as the music’s too good and I love dancing. Peter eventually joins me but Liam and Jon aren’t feeling it and eventually decide to leave to go to Bar Music Hall.

Peter and I remain and there’s three girls dancing near to us which I automatically take to mean that they’re interested in some way. They’re not really my type – wannabe Cheryl Cole / Victoria Beckham types that frankly deserve to be shot. By this I mean they’re all dressed up half posh half slutty, and are barely moving on the dancefloor looking pretty bored with bitch-faces on as though they’re wags. But one of them is hot enough for me to forgive her attitude. But I’m stuck on an opener. I discuss it with Pete and he suggests “Are you part of Ricky’s party?” It’s as good as anything that I can think of so I use it, they say no and that’s it.

However I notice that after that they suddenly start dancing and moving more, probably as the DJ puts Over and Over on and I start dancing like a fool, and that draws them into actually ENJOYING themselves more. I probably should have opened them again but by now I don’t care.

After a while we decide to meet with Jon and Liam to see what Bar Music Hall is like. Liam’s in set with some Asians which is fair play. The first set of the night are there and say Hi. But apart from that it’s completely dead, with most people either seated or male, and the girls aren’t that hot either.

Peter and I stand around for a bit but there’s nothing happening so we go home.

Back at home I have the misfortune to hear some stories about one of my flatmates who has been fucking a bunch of women at a hobby activity of his that makes me jealous, and the 16 year old brother of another flatmate who has been fucking all the hot girls in his group, as well as those he met on a recent trip to Barcelona. This horrible jealousy makes me feel bad and I certainly need to learn to deal with it.

On a parallel note, I have been practicing meditation with some more seriousness, partly inspired by this:


Even though I’ve only been doing a little bit of it I’ve already noticed changes, mainly to do with helping to solve a posture problem I’ve had at the bottom of my back. But also some clarity of thought, perhaps best expressed in the first set that I opened this night. More to come on that in the future I’m sure.

Saturday, 15 August 2009

Step up, the sky is open-armed

Last Friday

So last Friday I meet up with Liam and Peter and we go to Cargo. I’m feeling a bit shitty for various reasons so I’m not in a good mood. Right from the start there’s a group of 2-3 girls who are all pretty hot and one is totally my type. But it’s the first set of the night, I haven’t really warmed up and I hesitate on opening.

To cut a long story short I never open them, they walk off and don’t really open anyone for ages. My state is still pretty bad. But I get an urge, a desperation that I try to turn into motivation. I end up opening about five different sets but none of them stick. Even the ones that I’ve caught checking me out before hand. I guess my body language (and indeed my frame) is off kilter so nothing happens.

A crappy night. The lesson? Open early, open often. Gain social momentum. Lesson learned.

This Friday

So I was feeling a bit tired but I got off work early and had a rest. Although I didn’t sleep it was better than nothing and I had the chance to make some good food and have a shower so I felt good. My hot French flatmate (easily a 9.5 – think Carla Bruni or French newsreaders) told me I looked hot, which is good for my ego!

Meet up with Liam, Peter and Jon who is back from holiday with a bit of a tan and looking even better than normal. We go to Big Chill. Right after we walk in we see group of three girls, one of whom is particularly hot and is looking to get opened. I think about it for a bit trying to build up the initiative when I notice her checking Jon out. It’s a massive signal so I tell him to open, but he doesn’t. Instead Liam opens and later Jon joins in. I’m on the far side of the group so it’s hard for me to join. But it doesn’t matter because…

Behind me there was a girl and a guy. I didn’t know what their situation was but when the guy was at the bar I open the girl with a simple “Hello, how are you doing?”

She’s very receptive to the opener and we continue talking. We talk about fairly normal stuff and in the process I find out that the guy is her work colleague, and later on that he’s actually gay. Right from the start she’s asking me questions like where I live, so that’s a good sign. From time to time the other guys jump in and out of set. At one point Peter asks if I’ve been working out and I tell him that I have (as it’s true), and he says that he can notice it. Not sure if this is a help or not with the set but at least I know my effort is making a difference!

At no point am I really consciously gaming, I’m just having a chat with both the girl and the guy. But everyone’s having a good time so it’s all gravy. At one point she goes to the bar and while there gets chatted up by some guy next to her. Me and the guy joke about it and eventually, as the guy is waiting for his drink he goes and pulls her back. Good work my son!

We talk about a bunch of stuff and we have things in common like both having Indian and Irish heritage, and things we don’t have in common like drugs. We both work out that we’re both single which is obvious but good to have clarified.

We continue to shoot the shit and it’s only now that I do a few things consciously. These days I tend to touch everyone I’m talking to anyway but I notice that I haven’t done much of that today, so I start brushing against her a bit and other things. I haven’t really turned the conversation sexual yet either. At one break in the conversation I ask her if she likes to dance and she says that she does, and she likes Fabric. Well looky here, so do I, so that’s a good enough reason to meet up again, no? So we make vague plans for that. Learning my lesson from a few weeks ago I ask her “What’s the best way to get in contact with you?” She responds with “Is that your way of asking for a number?” which some people may take as a shit test, but I just reply honestly, “That’s one of them, yes.” So we exchange numbers.

In fact there were a number of times that there were things that could have been interpreted as shit tests, but unless someone’s actually being a bit bitchy or stand offish, they’re not really tests in my book. Mostly there’s a straightforward honest answer to most of them.

So I already know that she has to leave early and we’ve already exchanged numbers so that’s cool. Then not really thinking about sexual tension but more just to make things a bit more fun I whisper into her ear “You’re naughty!” I don’t know why, there wasn’t any real reason for me to say it but I it felt right.

This gets her excited and she starts asking me some more serious shit-testing questions: “Why do you think I’m naughty? What are you trying to say?” etc. The trick here is not to answer directly, either give an opaque answer or don’t answer at all. Things like “maybe” and “I’ll tell you later” work well.

This gets her even more wound up and she’s looking me direct in the eye. This is when I start consciously using triangular gazing for the first time, looking direct in her eyes and switching between them and her lips. This goes on for a minute or two before suddenly she jumps on me and it’s tongue down time! We have a good go at it and she’s into it in a big way. The gay guy takes a swig of my drink while we’re at it, which is pretty funny! Luckily he didn’t cock block in any way, but then he was a pretty cool guy.

Eventually we break off and it’s time for her to leave, so with a peck and squeeze of her hand, she and her friend leave.

After that I meet up with the guys again and shoot the shit. I start talking to a German girl who lived in Brazil for a year and she tells me how great it is. I’m going there in the new year so that sounds good. I can’t game her though as there are two hyper Brazilian guys nearby who are getting all the attention. I end up talking to one of them who is pretty cool and tells me about Brazil as well. He tells me that in the nightclubs there you can fuck five or six girls in a night! I’m not sure if he’s right but I’ve heard similar things, particularly at carnival when you can get off with tens of girls in one day. So I’m sure something like that is possible.

Peter seems to have disappeared with some girl that he was talking to and Jon and Liam head off to another club with some girls that Jon has found, while I catch the last tube and head home for a well deserved sleep.

The main thing about this night is that the close was pretty much all normal conversation, no game, no high energy tactics, no conscious manipulation, no insecurity on my part. It just happened, it was just normal, it felt great. Jon said afterwards that she was DTF, it didn’t seem that way at the start to me, but then who knows? It doesn’t really matter at the end of the day, the results are the same. As I’ve said before, you’ve got to take your chances.

So it’s worth mentioning at this point that this is my first in-bar kiss close for a long time, and indeed if I look back at the last couple of months I’ve had three kiss closes (though one of them was a dare) and one social group lay, which is probably my best results in game ever. I’ve been saying for a while that I can feel it all coming together and starting to happen and it now seems that the results are starting to bear that out. Onwards and upwards!

“Step up, step up, step up
The sky is open-armed
And the light is mine
I feel gravity
Pull onto my eyelids (onto my eyes)
And holding my head straight (looking down)
This is the easiest task I’ve ever had to do”

- Feeling Gravitys Pull
R.E.M. Fables of the Reconstruction

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Truth or Dare

So in general in my life I’ve been concentrating less on game and more on hanging out with my friends as they’re fun and cool, I enjoy it and it’s good for the soul. So sue me! But also there’s a bit of so-called “social circle” game going on there, as my last post shows.

So two weeks ago it was Lovebox and me and my flatmates and neighbours are all over there, hanging out, having fun, getting wasted and being disappointed by Gary Numan’s lame set. In the group that I’m with most of the time is my flatmates IT guy and hot French girl and neighbour Aussie oriental chick. The Aussie chick is the local bike and has been with IT guy, German chef and my other male flatmate already. I’m slow on the uptake!

Anyway the festival is a lot of easygoing fun and I keep up a lot of kino and create fun times with everyone. A while ago I read a free PDF on the web of someone’s autobiography of how he became a sexual expert, having had his wife leave him because he was crap in bed (no it wasn’t David Shade, it was some English guy from the ‘70s). In that among many experiences he spends some time in Bali with a guru who gets him to see everything as sex or a sexual act – from the hills as breasts to having a pee as coming. Apparently that made pissing quite enjoyable for him!

Anyway I can’t say that I’ve done exactly the same but I have taken on the principles. We have these big concrete columns in our office and when I pass them I remember to stroke them with my hand and imagine some kind of caress. The upshot of this principle and from conscious practice in the field is that my kino is naturally increasing and I’m getting better at it, and enjoying doing it.

So at Lovebox I was making sure to kino Aussie chick as much as possible, as well as leading the group (not in an alpha “we’re doing this because I want to” kind of way, but more of a “I think this is a good idea, wanna come along?” kind of approach. Which, given that in these situations most people don’t know what to do, immediately gives you man-points) and generally being cool, easy going and fun. Needless to say as the night goes on, people get more wasted and Duran Duran start playing Ordinary World, we eventually make out for a good period of a time.

That was fun and unfortunately it didn’t go any further as by the time we got home and the whole group did a load more partying I was too wasted from the drugs and eventually had to retire to bed. But there’s more to come from that I’m sure.

The next weekend I went to Mallorca to visit German chef, German chef 2 and, indeed, German chef 3 (who was working out there and was our host). There wasn’t much sarging going on for various reasons. All that’s worth mentioning was the waitress in German chef 3’s restaurant at the start of the meal said that she was looking crap. I said she looked wonderful and then chefs 1 and 2 and me kept up the flirting for the rest of the night. She enjoyed herself and was very flirty with all of us in return (particularly as German chef 2 is a cocky natural and German chef is pretty good looking though can be a bit shy) even though she has a boyfriend. And I had a great time partying with the guys and driving around the island, taking in the beauty. One of the reasons why I like German chef 1 so much and why he’s my best friend is his unadulterated joy at all things, and this trip was no exception. Alter, das ist so krass, so schön!

So last weekend on the Friday I was out with my flatmates and neighbours in the local pub as the weather was good. Had some fun though nothing sarge-related.

On Saturday I went to Jewel in Piccadilly with Liam and Peter. I opened a quick set as I ordered the first round of drinks – I always like to get a warm up set out of the way quickly. Turns out the vibe was pretty good that night. There were a lot of women about, a lot of hen nights though not the crazy slapper kind you often get – most of these girls were pretty cool and some were hot. The music was pretty good too – they’ve started hiring vaguely good DJs and tonight it was Joey Negro – I had heard of him but didn’t know his genre, but he did a good job.

I can’t remember what happened exactly after that but Pete did his usual thing of calling people gay if they hadn’t opened. Although it is a bit lame as long as it’s not serious it can be a good incentive to just go and open people, which as Jon and Greig know only too well, can have good results.

Again I noticed getting good eye contact with random girls in the bar, which in my head meant they were totally into me in a big way. I was generally in a happy mood and enjoying myself too. I can’t remember who or what I opened but I was talking to people.

Soon there was a group of girls near where we were standing and one of them was looking at the unusual table near us. I started talking to her and her friends and everyone was joking and having fun. They were putting pegs on people as part of their hen party challenge, so I have a bit of fun with this keeping with the fun vibe.

A Chinese chick gets my attention and I have a chat with her. She’s cool and we have a laugh together.

A while later we join the whole group at their table where the hen is and about eight other girls. Just at that moment someone pulls out a bunch of cards with dares written on them. The first girl to take one has to tell someone they love them for 60 seconds. She picks me and I get her to sit on my lap and she tells me how much she loves me. I play along and am laid back and cool, laughing at it all.

A second card comes out and this girl has to kiss someone. She picks me of course and so being a gentleman I help her out. She’s about a 6/7 so she looks OK thankfully and it’s not a problem. I go for the lips and discover she’s eager and we tongue down. The table cheers and flashes go off as everyone gets into it. Afterwards she looks into my eyes, gives me a smile and stokes the back of my neck. She’s a nice girl but not quite hot enough so I don’t take it further.

I chat to Liam and we work out we’re both after the same girl. It’s only afterwards that I find out that he was gaming her properly beforehand and he thinks I’m swissing* on him but at the time I have no idea. I go back to her chat a bit and ask for her number. She says she doesn’t give out her number which throws me and I eject.

Liam goes in afterwards and gets her email. Apparently she also refuses the phone number but smartly he asks for an email and gets it. I should have done the same, fair play to him. After Liam gets the email I feel a bit crap so I decide to head home.

A good night over all, one sort-of kiss and some good practice. Just need to keep up the good work.

*It's a long story but in our group the term "swissing" means hitting on a girl that is already someone else's target.