Sunday, 31 August 2008

Let’s Make Like Croatia’s Second Largest City, and Split!

So we caught the flight from Amsterdam to Split, via Zagreb. As soon as we arrived in Croatia we were hit by the stink of smoke. The smoking ban hasn’t reached Croatia yet, and everyone smokes indoors.

However as soon as we arrived in Split, there was no reason to stay in. The climate was amazing – hot but not too hot, Mediterranean, a slight breeze and no clouds. The sea was a rich blue and the sun reflected off it constantly. And the town itself was crazy. It’s built within the remains of Diocletian’s Palace, out of a smooth creamy-white stone. The city is a maze of pathways, darting around buildings and other additions to what was once a palace 1700 years ago. It’s truly beautiful.

But what about the chicks, right? Well it’s true, the women in southern Croatia are amazing. They have that Slavic tall, skinny thing with extra long legs that reach all the way to the ground, and the dark brown Mediterranean skin. They also have the pale grey-blue eyes of the Slavs, and the combination together is absolutely stunning. But how do you meet them?

Well like in Amsterdam the bars are all set tables with little or no mixing. But here there’re no clubs. Well there are one or two theoretically, but everyone was still seated within them, and strangely most of the people in them seemed to be under 18. Long as it’s legal, right? ;o) Over the first two nights we opened maybe five sets in total, and I don’t think any of them went much further than the opener as the language barrier chipped away at the communication.

We couldn’t exactly use dancefloor game as there was no dancing. But we chilled out and enjoyed the city – I think there might be worse places to spend time opening sets that don’t go anywhere.

Then we went to Hvar. Again it was beautiful in much the same way as Split but much smaller and a larger proportion of tourists, notably Aussies, to locals. Also it was much more of a party town than Split. There were bars all along the seafront and later we found a club in and old castle in the hills. But I kicked off in the daytime with a warm up set with some Australians. I just asked them places to go and they mentioned a couple. Fargo and I were joking about asking all the Aussies we met how they fared in the Olympics medal table, as we weren’t sure whether they finished fourth or fifth. We were sure they’d beat us as well, as they take their sport so seriously. They wouldn’t want to be beaten by the Poms now, would they?

But we chickened out of that one! The set opened and we had a quick chat, and they later reopened us as we were walking back from having drunk the best Mohitos of the holiday. Nice minute piece of social proof.

So anyway we ended up at this club in a castle and it was pretty dead. There was one large group of rowdy Aussies who were dancing like idiots on the dancefloor. There were handfuls of chic looking Europeans lounging around the sides of the club. But it was mainly empty.

Fargo opened a group of three Russians sitting down a step from us with his now-successfully-field-tested “Is it alright to dump a girl by text?” opener, which usually gets a good hook. It was a bit strange as we were sitting behind them, but we hung in there.

Eventually we moved to more general conversation and I ended up talking to a blonde Russian. Incidentally these Russians were actually living in Germany. But I do have to reassess my opinion of them all being rude and dodgy, bad stereotyping on my part!

So I was using my standard natural curiosity game on her and was chatting to her for a while about Hamburg, where she was from – one of the furthest east Russian states, one of the ones on the Risk board that you never heard of before playing the game – and about her personality. I think it’s clear to me know that I can get quite regularly into comfort game with girls. So I need to move on from there to more humour, attraction, escalation and seduction communication. So I was chatting to this girl and Fargo was telling me that I should escalate and should kiss close. I think this girl would have been a strong number close, but of course I wasn’t going to see her again.

So I tried to escalate. I tried moving the conversation out of comfort into more attraction based game to get her to open up a bit. See this girl was a bit closed. Not just in a Russian way, in fact she was open to conversation. But in a “I can’t let go and have fun” kind of way. She actually said that line to me. So to have sex with this girl would be hard, and a kiss close for me would be difficult too. I tried a bit more to get her to open up but I just wasn’t getting the vibe from her. Eventually I bailed, but I must have talked to her for about 40 minutes.

Fargo was feeling off that day so we called it a night. The next day was back in Split but once again it was hard to open sets in seated bars and the clubs were once again not up to much. We took an early flight to Zagreb the next day.

Zagreb at first sight is a pretty boring typically Central European style city, like the unexciting bits of Budapest all in one place. But there are little bits and pieces of cool within it. We found a free guide and we checked out a few bars and streets. One street was full of seated bars again, but a nice place to chill out.

We also went to one bar / nightclub that was in the guide, and though it looked quite cool it was mainly rock music with a bunch of guys and not many girls, and groups of friends all to themselves. The dancefloor was guys headbanging. But to start with we opened up the nearest two girls.

We decided on the “Do you guys speak English?” opener out of praticality, and Fargo went for it. It turned out that one of the girls Au Paired in England for a year and spoke pretty good English, and the other one spoke some English but was a lot quieter.

So once again I ended up doing natural curiosity game on the talkative chick, chatting about Leamington Spa, the Croatian language, football, some other stuff I can’t remember. This time it was a lot higher energy, which was helped by the fact that she was high energy herself. I was also able to be a bit more humorous, it can be harder with foreigners but it seemed to be working here.

So there was more attraction there, but she wasn’t that hot, maybe a generous 6. When I went to the loo Fargo told me that the talkative girl was asking if I was single, so it looked like the attraction worked. We had to go back to the hotel as Fargo’s phone was spazzing out and had thrown him a bit (not least because it has all our photos on it!) and we went back to the bar but it was impossible to open large groups of mainly male Croatians.

So if you’re going to Croatia, then head for Hvar. And Amsterdam is great if you can find some friendly girls. You can meet people in hostels too though we didn’t this time. But the weather and scenery isn’t as nice as Croatia.

What went well

  • Fargo was kind enough to give me the option of opening sets. He kept saying “My set or yours?” Of course the easy option for me was to leave it to Fargo to open the sets and I could then watch. But I would force myself to say “Yes” against my initial reaction, and then follow through. This is again an example of me relying on other people to push me into sets, but with the added factor of requiring some proactive choice and effort on my part. This helped me immensely.
What could have gone better

  • We were faced with very difficult (for us) opening circumstances in a lot of places. At least we did open up in Split despite the results. But we could have opened more in difficult circumstances, Like the large group of Aussies, or other people in the seated bars.
What did I do well that I haven’t done before

  • Semi-forcing myself to open. And I would say a lot smoother and more socially calibrated comfort game.

Monday, 25 August 2008

Amsterdam Part 2

(continued from previous post)

So it was a good night to start off our holiday, lots of talking and lots of fun. The next day by some miracle we managed to avoid a hangover, mainly as we were still drunk...! We ate, Fargo got stoned for the first time ever and we chilled out for a bit in the aptly named Vondelpark.

We arranged to meet up with Kiril's flatmate in a bar in De Pijp. We walked around Jordaan and bar hopped our way there. We were at our last pitstop in Heinekeplein and sat next to two girls that Fargo opened with "Is it OK to dump a girlfriend by text?" He started chatting a bit while I played it cool wifi-ing on his iPhone.

I then joined in and we spat a few routines at them. Few minutes in and they actually moved their seats in to be closer to us. They were into us and as Jordan would say, there were MASSIVE IOIs. We had them and there was a sense in the air that they were dancing to our tune.

We took a leaf out of the PUA textbook and showed "leadership" as we "bounced" them to Kiril's flatmate's venue, where we had a modicum of "social proof." Fargo sorted out his target and I winged the other one. Fargo was soon snogging his girl while I salsa danced with mine and ramped up the sexual tension. She had a boyfriend but I think I made her doubt herself at some point!

They kindly invited us back to their flat for a smoke so we rode pillion on their bikes back to theirs. By then it was only a matter of time really as we smoked, chatted and played our way to the end. I was caught up by sleep and passed out on the sofa. This was a cue for everyone else to go to bed, and Fargo pulled (i.e. fuck closed) for the second time in a week. Fargo wants me to mention that the 17 year old sister of the other girls was also into him, and that he only generates value externally. That's how I know that he's gay.

So it was a promising start to the holiday! Seriously though the second night was textbook game and the first time we felt that we both felt we were in control and knew exactly what we were doing. Funny how this shit actually works. I love it when a plan comes together!

Sunday, 24 August 2008

Do You Know How I Know You're Gay?

In the Dam with Fargo, meet up with former work colleague Kiril, who has turned into SuperKiril, the archetypal indie rock star lost boy.

We go out to a random office block on the outskirts of the centre where there's a random 70s party. We open a bunch of sets but they don't go anywhere, but at least we're getting practice in and making lots of friends for the night.

We drink a lot and get petty messy as the drinks are so cheap, though I don't think we meant to spend 80 Euros worth. Each. We also go to another club at 4 but there's no sarging there. We leave at 5 to go to bed and leave SuperKiril to dance the night away with some random new friends who he has to stay with as he's lost his keys and is homeless.

Friday, 22 August 2008

Wings of Desire

So I went out with Jordan to Punk again. I had my Lucozade and pizza combination again which helped rectify the tiredness I was feeling from staying up too late and watching old episodes of Doctor Who. Such is the state of my life currently!

We knew from last time that we had to get in a set early. Not only because it gets pretty loud in there later on, but also as a warm up, but also if it goes well there’s a nice bit of social proof.

But what today really showed me is how wings can work well and work badly. As I’ve mentioned before I used to think that Jordan wouldn’t be a great wing for me, but lo and behold I was proved wrong with a night of glory at Tiger Tiger. And last Monday we managed to replicate it, albeit to a slightly lesser extent. At least Fargo managed to lay an Oriental because of it.

But despite that night of glory, me and Jordan are different people. He’s high energy and I’m low energy. In a venue like Punk I don’t think it’s egotistical to say that I’m more socially calibrated than him – it’s just the way things are. And I think it’s important to have a wing that compliments you well.

For example Jake is an awesome wing for me because I see a lot of myself in him, and as we’re quite similar we can vibe together very easily and drive each other on well. Fargo and I are similar too, although he’s more high energy and probably more socially calibrated than I am. Liam is quite similar too but lower energy than me. And so it goes on. Each wing is different.

But tonight in Punk it showed me how important it is to have a wing that is somewhat on the same level as you are, particularly in a venue where the type of people demands a fair level of social calibration. What people will forgive you for in Tiger Tiger or On Anon, you can’t get away with in Punk and vice versa. And to be fair to Jordan he wasn’t on top form as he hadn’t slept well the previous night and gets tipsy quite easily. So his calibration was out the window.

So we had to open a set early. Jordan pointed out two girls walking past. As I know it helps me when others force me into set, I asked him if he wanted to kick things off or not. He said he didn’t. So now I could force myself to open, such is my twisted logic. I chose my default hair opener and told Jordan to join me a minute after I went in.

I did my opener and girl nearest me was into it. I managed to force the transition to asking about who they were and found out that they were Swedish and here on holiday. Then Jordan entered so I introduced him, mentioned that the girls were from Sweden and we found out their names. But then Jordan’s calibration went out the window as he asked them if they were Irish. The girls got confused, made their excuses and left.

It was no worries, at least we opened them and got things started. I gave Jordan some feedback on calibration and we kicked back for a bit. Then after a while I knew Jordan needed to open, so I picked out a couple of sets and let him choose one. He opened it. I hung back for a bit and then tried to join in. Unfortunately Jordan ignored me at first and didn’t introduce me which is bad winging (though it was just an oversight on his part and not deliberate), but I forced the introductions anyway.

The girls were from Essex and I made a subtle tease about that without it being too negative, and chatted to them for a bit but two factors were against me. Firstly I couldn’t really hear what they were saying, and secondly Jordan was not calibrating or vibing with them very well. As I said in my feedback to him afterwards, it was like he was putting on a presentation and talking at them rather than with them. I cut out as I could only continue by breaking up the set, which would blow Jordan out.

What Jordan did well though was to stick in there, and he was getting some physical contact and interest from one of the girls. Then the main DJs for the night – the Queens of Noize, dressed in matching Minnie Mouse / French maid crossover outfits – turned up and joined the set. It turns out the girls were their friends, and therefore some of the highest value people in the club. Jordan was not calibrated to them at all.

So Jordan was blown out and I gave him my feedback, for what it was worth. And he was graceful enough to appreciate its value. We spent the rest of the night on some dancefloor game and though Jordan told me we were getting some interest from some girls I couldn’t see it once again. But it was too loud for me to open and my dancefloor game isn’t powerful enough yet. Plus having to explain to Jordan the subtleties of different calibration was wearing me out. As I’m off to Amsterdam tomorrow I couldn’t stay out late (Punk requires a late night out) so we called it a night and made our way past the paparazzi waiting outside for whichever C-list celebrity was in there.

Summary of the night: Sets opened: 1 For more than five minutes: 0. But a lot of things were learnt tonight, for Jordan if nothing else!

What went well

  • Managed to force myself to open the first set of the night early on
What could have gone better

  • Better dancefloor game
What did I do well that I haven’t done before

  • Gave lots of constructive feedback to Jordan
I’m off to Amsterdam tomorrow (then Croatia and then Barcelona) so I’ll probably forget everything that happens over the next few days, plus I won’t be updating my blog too regularly. But I’ll try to add a few bits and pieces when I can.

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Numbers Don't Mean Shit?!?

So I called the hot chick that I number closed in Jewel on Friday. The number didn't work! It's a bit strange as she was very keen and even made sure that I spelt her name correctly when I put it in the phone.

Now I could be deluding myself in that she was just pretending, but I don't believe people are that superficial. Even girls! There was no change in her attitude when I asked for her number. I think she must have given it to me wrong.

Anyway the thing with numbers is that you never know if they are going to flake or not. And accidents happen. The top PUAs say that numbers don't mean shit, and there's an element of truth in that.

However there was little chance that I could have done anything else with her that night as she was just starting to leave with her friend when I number closed. Oh well... next!

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

I just saw Noel Gallagher on the street!

In Covent Garden. I thought it was worth a post.

He was looking miserable, as he usually does. He's quite small too, about 5'7" I'd say.

Bad Mojito

So I met up with Paul who does the NLP stuff, and he confirms a bunch of thoughts that I had floating around in my head. Nice to know that I’m right!

One of the problems that we talked about is that I often don’t have enough energy, particularly after doing running or swimming earlier in the day. Well today I found that Lucozade helps with this problem. Or maybe it was the high-calorie pizza that I ate. Either way, I managed to solve the very low energy that I had earlier in the day from a hardcore swim that I did.

So we went to Tiger Tiger given that it is probably the best place in the world on a Monday, and it’s where we had our most successful night of social proof ever. It didn’t look like there were as many hot babes as before, but we made do.

So I meet up with Jordan and Fargo and we have a debrief on the weekend’s activities, which is fun. Turns out Jordan wanted to try using eyeliner, that Fargo has done occasionally, but uses mascara instead. It’s hilarious. We all have a laugh.

Fargo spots two girls on their own and suggests we get them to join us. At this point the first thing that pops into my head is “I can’t be arsed.” – they don’t look too hot but I know this isn’t the right course of action. Indeed, subconsciously it’s my mind trying to pretend it doesn’t want to do this as it might not work. So when Fargo asks me if I think he should go and invite them over, I force myself to say yes. So he does.

He opens with the “Are you shy, you haven’t spoken to us yet?” opener, and gets them to join us. Turns out they are from Sweden and not one of the big cities, which means they are a lot more innocent and open than otherwise. (Swedish girls from the big cities are more like Londoners – more worldly wise and aware, cynical at worst, and less likely to succumb to PUA chat at the first attempt).

They’re not the hottest chicks in the world but they are cute, the one I talk to has the typical Swedish eyes – sky blue irises of unadulterated beauty. She’s impressed that I know more than three cities in Sweden (Växjo being the fourth, you can guess the other three). I tell her the “no smoking” train story that a friend of mine told me of his adventures in Sweden, however it was lost in translation.

Andre turned up and he and his group gave us nice social proof (I’ve already forgotten his brother’s name, for the second time!). I aimed to return the favour but didn’t get the chance. But the girls were into us. However as mentioned before I have an issue with tourists (which these girls were) as they are either leaving soon or can’t speak English that well. And these girls couldn’t speak English well.

Anyway after a while the girls go for a smoke. Once they’ve left a random girl comes up to me and starts asking us about the cocktails we’re drinking (one of the worst mojitos I’ve ever had). Later Jordan tells me that this girl has been eyeing us when the Swedish girls were with us. We have a chat about the cocktails and stuff, just helping her out at this stage. However as I’m doing this, the Swedish girls come back and see me talking to this new girl. They get pissed off and then leave. I later try to find them but I think they have left the venue. I then later try to find the cocktail girl (who was German and I established a bit of connection with by speaking my usual German phrases, and she was hot!) but it looks like she left as well. Ah well, shit happens.

Fargo gets me to open a Thai girl to ask her about Thailand, as I’ll be there in about a month. But she can hardly string two English words together, so it goes nowhere.

Jordan then opens another table of girls, and Fargo joins them (again we were discussing it, my mind was telling me no, but my body, my body was telling me yes, as R Kelly might put it. And when I say body, I really mean the high-level PUA part of my mind. Or something). At this point it’s hard for me to join in as there are no free seats and I don’t fancy crouching. So I go for a walk to see what the rest of the venue is like. When I come back there’s a free chair and I can join in. I chat to a whole bunch of them, they’re all tourists and they’ve only just met each other in the hostel that they’re staying in. After a while we all get up to dance except for Fargo, who’s zoning in on an Asian-American that’s right up his street. All the rest of the girls are into me and Jordan. We dance and have a bit of fun.

Apparently there are girls that are eyeing us up but again I don’t notice and Jordan doesn’t tell me. Damn him! The girls are all fairly average, the one I like the most is leaving to go back to Italy the next day so there’s no point. Jordan number closes an Austrian. But all in all once again we are owning our section of the club and getting the right sort of attention.

We’re actually getting better at this. It’s getting easier. And my dancefloor game is pretty awesome. The girls all think I’m sexy, they wanna sex me.

Summary of the night: Sets opened: 1 though I “joined in” on two others. And I was opened once. Stayed in for more than 5 minutes: 2. I’m starting to realise that the 5 set goal isn’t too important, though I’m still going to stick with it for now.

What went well

  • Lots of nice, smooth conversations with various girls
What could have gone better

  • Opened other sets and merged them rather than staying with one set for most of the night.
What did I do well that I haven’t done before

  • Drank Lucozade to help with low energy.

Monday, 18 August 2008

Crazy Boosh Girl Gives Me a Call

So when I was on Sasha’s bootcamp I gave my number out to a girl I met in Soho Square. She was a little kooky to be honest – she seemed to be obsessed with The Mighty Boosh, in a way that suggested she thought it was some kind of grittily realistic documentary rather than a surreal comedy – but seemed nice enough so I didn’t mind the opportunity to meet her again.

However yesterday I received a call from a number I didn’t recognise. The girl announced herself as Katie, and asked if I’d heard the song she’d left on my voice mail. Now my phone / network is shit and it doesn’t tell me when I have voice messages so I hadn’t picked it up.

Anyway it turns out that she then wanted to have a jam over the phone to try to write a song. Now I don’t know if anyone else has tried this but I can’t see myself as ever being able to “jam” and write songs over a phone call. I was starting to doubt her sanity. Even more.

But I was still trying to remember who this girl was. Not because I’ve got so many girls calling me (if only…) but because we are auditioning for new singers in the band and I couldn’t remember where I had met this girl, and why she contacted me.

Turns out we met in Soho Square and then I remembered who she was, and so with that cleared up I now had to try and explain to her that you simply can’t jam over the phone. She started to suggest we meet up at an open mic night that very same day. Well I planned on doing fuck all on Sunday and didn’t fancy changing my plans. Plus it sounded like she would have trouble travelling anywhere – she didn’t have any money on her Oyster card and didn’t know how to cycle to the place we needed to go (apparently using a map wasn’t part of her plan).

This was rapidly getting more and more surreal. I suggested meeting up sometime later, although that was going to he hard for me as I have a packed week of sarging (!) and I’m leaving to go travelling on Friday for a couple of weeks. She then mentioned something about going to Wales, how I could visit her there, and stuff like that.

I was trying to veer the conversation more towards a “don’t call us, we’ll call you” kind of situation, but she kept talking. She clearly wanted to meet up with me, and as I tried to delay things more and more she said “I really like your accent…”

I felt really sorry for the girl. It seemed clear that she liked me but she was so random and scatty that I just knew that it would be a nightmare, no matter how sweet or attractive she was. I’ve done my time with freaks and psychos in the past and I don’t really want to waste my time like that again, not matter how desperate I am for sex (and I’m not that desperate thankfully).

I managed to end the call eventually, and by then it was clear to her that we weren’t really going to meet up, even though I kept up the pretence that I was going to arrange something after I came back from Europe. I was a bit weirded out, but also felt sorry for the girl. The call lasted 20 minutes. That’s 20 minutes I’ll never get back!

Slight Improvement

So we’re going out in Shoreditch again, although in retrospect we should have hit up Shunt. But anyway, we go over there and meet at Fargo’s house. It’s a bit of a late start and when we get to Favela Chic there’s a queue and it’s £10 to get in. So we go to Zigfrid instead. It’s a bit average, not many girls and not many of them are hot. I do a warm up set that goes well, but they aren’t that hot.

I try to push English Liam into sets but he won’t budge. I do a second set with Fargo that bombs but the girls weren’t that hot or intelligent for that matter. We asked a girl what her favourite cheese was. She said “melted.” We asked her for the type of cheese and she said “on toast.” It was clearly going nowhere.

So we split, though not before some chicks that Canadian Liam opened early on found him and reopened him. Good work from him! We try Bluu but can’t get in, so we go to Dream Bags and Jaguar Shoes. It’s hard to open in there because of the groups and layout, though English Liam gets opened by a black chic with a hot mate. Liam can’t make it stick. Fargo opens a cute Kiwi girl and after that we have large social proof. But there’s not much else that we can open.

We go to Big Chill to finish off the night. I’m tired and can’t find the energy. I take over Canadian Liam’s winging of a set that Fargo’s in and have a good chat with a cute chick, but she has a boyfriend.

It was an interesting night as I felt a lot more comfortable in set than recently. I’m definitely seeing an improvement, however slight.

Summary of the night: sets opened: 3 for more than five minutes, 2.

What went well

  • Feeling a lot more comfortable and confident in sets.
What could have gone better

  • Arrived at Favela Chic earlier. Opened more sets.
What did I do well that I haven’t done before

  • Felt a lot more comfortable and confident in sets, less needy.

Saturday, 16 August 2008

Zen Chic

So there was a vague plan to meet up with the big Fearless LSS meet up on Friday evening. Fargo met with them then left to eat when I joined him. He reckoned they weren’t that much different from our normal crowd and as they were at On Anon it seemed to make sense to revert back to the standard Friday plan: Jewel.

Fargo has a disturbing addiction to America’s Next Top Model, and as a result takes things like GQ far too seriously. What this meant is that he turned up today in a jacket and waistcoat, complete with a fob watch. Apparently some fashion guru had said that waistcoats are in for men this season. I’m like, dude, what the fuck? It’s not my thing at all, but if it makes him happy then he should go for it. We called it Doctor Who Chic (as Doctor Who is central to success with pick up, and indeed everything in life).

I was wearing one of my shirts with a nice floral print on it, that generally gets a lot of love. Fargo mentioned that it was exactly the sort of thing that I should be wearing. We decided my look should be Zen Chic. Works for me.

Anyway Liam joined us and we went to Jewel. We picked a warm up set of one hot chick and an OK chick. Given the day game problems I had earlier I opened with my standard hair opener. For some reason the OK looking girl misheard something and said “Don’t touch me”. I actually misheard her – she said “Don’t judge me”. I hadn’t (she was a grumpy Polish girl after all) and after clearing things up with her friend she was OK. Although not the happiest person in the world it had to be said.

Anyway Liam occupied the fit one and after the regulatory five minutes we moved on.

Peter and Jordan joined us with a new guy called Marx. One or two of us got stuck into sets here and there and generally “worked the room” as they say. Liam and Fargo suggested I open a set. They didn’t look my type so at first I didn’t take them on. Then they mentioned a comment in one of my blog posts about how I find it easy to approach (which I do, when I’m in state) and I just kind of follow my legs. Though I didn’t take their bait immediately the comment sunk in, and I knew it wouldn’t hurt to try something out. So I walked up and opened with Pirates versus Ninjas.

They were into me straight away. We chatted about the opener for a while, then how they knew each other, and they started asking questions about me. We talked about travelling including visiting old sarging partner Przemec in Krakow, something I had arranged only hours earlier. We talked about F1 in motorcycles and cars and other random stuff.

Liam joined ostensibly to wing but somehow it disrupted the set. It didn’t matter as it turned out they were about to leave anyway. I said “We should stay in touch – what’s your number?”, and the hotter one of the two (who was more into me anyway) was only to happy to oblige. NUMBER CLOSE!

Though not typically my type she was hot and the others thought so too, so I’ll definitely try it on. I played it up a bit with the guys – might as well enjoy it while you can.

Liam wanted help so I played instructor for him to get him to open. He did though it was a tough set. Didn’t stay in long but at least he made the effort, so fair play.

The venue emptied out a fair bit so we moved on. We ended up at some random bar next to Digress. It was a nice place but there weren’t many sets. Someone left a whole load of cocaine scattered around the toilets, which was funny. After a drink we moved on.

We went to Bar Soho as a last resort. It’s a dive but at least it’s fun. There weren’t too many hot chicks. I danced with a girl doing basic salsa. It worked pretty well but she wasn’t up for taking it further, though I did notice her looking at me wistfully later on, haha. Started dancing with another chick but she actually has a boyfriend and was using me as a jealousy tool. Soon after we called it a night.

I don’t know why but we all thought and knew that Marx was a top guy, even though I don’t think he actually approached any sets that night (it was his first night back into sarging after months so fair enough). And he didn’t dance, which for a black guy surely isn’t allowed! But a cool guy none the less, and also apparently a squaddie, which is interesting in itself and something I’ll have to ask him about. Most army dudes that I’ve met are complete psychos! But he wasn’t. Fun guy to have around.

Summary of the night: sets opened: at least 4. Over five minutes: 3, including dancing.

What went well

  • Four really strong opens, and a number close
What could have gone better

  • Start day game earlier
What did I do well that I haven’t done before

  • Didn’t bail after two warm up openers, one of which turned out to be a number close.

Realisations after 3 days of crap day game!

So I went out for day game today, and for the third time in a row it was completely lame. I approached one girl who completely blew me off and I think I helped a bunch of people with directions (to try and keep in a talkative mood), but don’t really remember talking to any other girls or doing any other openers.

I felt very quiet and I think in the back of my head I knew I was going to get blown out if I approached.

There is however two funny things that I instinctively take from this, that I realised when I was walking home:

  1. I don’t really care that I didn’t do well. That isn’t to say that I don’t give a shit about reaching my goals. It’s just that it doesn’t affect me as a person. I think it does affect how well I think I am doing at pick up and sarging. And the “on a roll” feeling is elusive still. But I don’t have any need to beat myself up or get depressed about this. After all, it’s just a skill, one that is taking me time to develop. But as a person, I feel pretty cool. In the back of my mind I know that one day I will crack this, and that leads me to the next point...
  2. I’m going to keep on doing this until I do crack it. I have no intention of giving up. If I have to go out 20 times in day game and only approach a couple of people and for it not to go well, just to get this handled, then I will. I really don’t care about the time and the effort. I’m excited about the changes that are going to occur. In a way I don’t know how it’s going to happen. But I know that it will. Plough through, plough through. The moment you give up is the moment you fail. I’m not giving up, I’m going to keep at it.
Outside of these higher level realisations, there are also a number of more practical aspects that I can focus on.

  • I need to start earlier. I’m getting into town at around 5.00 (it didn’t help that I had a 20 minute tube delay as well, but that’s a minor detail). Around 5.00 you get sucked into the rush hour, and it makes things harder for me. I need to start things off at 3.00 at least.
  • I was going to go to Hyde Park today as it was sunny and I’ve heard it’s good. I didn’t because I forgot (!) but a change of scenery might help a lot.
  • As I've mentioned before I need to have my routine stack ready. I like the idea of direct game but it’s fucking me up at the moment, so I need to ease myself in with a bit of indirect. Hair opener it is.
  • Forcing myself to open is one of my sticking points. I need to play “pretend bootcamp” with myself. I need to imagine I have an instructor with me, saying – go for that person, use X opener, do it now – and damn the consequences. If I force myself to open the half chances then I’ll get a lot more experience under my belt. It’s what I need after all.
  • I need to look to get blown out. I find myself making excuses not to approach, and one of these is that the person looks like they’re in a hurry or has a bitchy face, and I think that they’re probably not going to want me to talk to them. Well that’s just an assumption on my part and indeed if I do approach them and get blown out, then at least it will mean less to me. And if I don’t, then I’ll be having a good interaction.
One of the guys from Project Rockstar on the LSS has offered to do some day game with me, so that might be a change that will help me progress. Let's find out...!

Friday, 15 August 2008


So I didn’t go out on Wednesday as I was going to go to Salsa with Fargo, who then pulled out (lazy ass bitch!). However I forgot that Jordan wanted to go out as well and as he didn’t get my text I didn’t know that he was definitely up for it. So I should have called him but like I said, I forgot.

Anyway I was back in action on Thursday for day and night game. But the day game wasn’t great. I think I was a bit of low energy again from swimming. I’m upping my health kick a bit for these two weeks as I’m about to go travelling for two weeks so won’t be able to do anything. Plus I want to look good with my shirt off! Well, I do already…!

However the low energy from exercising seems to be impacting my ability to game a bit I think. There’s two approaches to dealing with this. Cut back on the exercise (which I did before) or work through it. I think for now I’m going to stick with the latter, as these are both things that I want.

So I went out on daygame, but wasn’t really feeling it. It took me a while to open, and when I did I was massively blown out by a hot Spanish chick that I went direct on. I opened some Swiss chicks indirectly with the “Do I look gay … a guy just pinched my ass” opener, but given that I haven’t used it before and was nervous I just wasn’t comfortable with it. I kept walking around abit more but I was going nowhere and called it a day.

What I need to do to improve this is to rely on the tried and tested indirect openers and just get the base level confidence working in effect. I saw a post from AFC Adam that said that people need to cover off “Game 1.0,” which is indirect routine-based game, before progressing to “Game 2.0,” which is direct game. I’ve noticed that I keep repeating myself on this and I’m sure it will sink in sometime soon! This is still my approach for now.

So for the evening it was time to test the water with Punk. I’d heard a lot about this venue, that it was a great night, that it was full of hot chicks, that it was a renowned hang out for celebrities. It kind of made me nervous as it sounded a bit intimidating. But despite my apprehensions I knew I needed to give it a shot.

I met up with Jordan and Richard and we went in. It was quiet to start with but we knew that would be the case. Looking back on it now we should have taken a leaf out of our learnings from Tiger Tiger and made friends with and flirted with one of the few groups of girls that were there early on. Something for next time. Instead we eased ourselves into the night and let the venue fill up.

When it had we hit the dancefloor and just tried to do what we could. There were a lot of large groups there and that made it a bit hard to mingle. I did my best, using the drug dealer bag opener a couple of times. But nothing was sticking really.

Though to be honest it didn’t really matter too much. The atmosphere in the club was awesome and I had a lot of fun just dancing and enjoying myself. I was in general sociable mode and every now and then dancing and sometimes chatting with various random people who were near us. I did a bit of spinning with one girl. I had some eye contact with a group of girls who were once again looking agape at Jordan’s dance moves. Other stuff happened.

Also worth mentioning was that it was fucking hot in there. I had to stand under the air conditioning units just to get by. A few trips outside helped me cool down. There were lots of groups of people outside, so that might be a place to hang out.

After being there for a good few hours we decided to call it a night at about 1.30. Jordan mentioned that we had been getting lots of interest from girls, that I hadn’t noticed. I asked him to tell me about them next time! But this means we need to approach more and it could work out well for us, as we may well have had interest from the girls without knowing it. I basically need to work on my dancefloor game.

Just as we left I did one direct opener on a couple of girls. It worked well but I didn’t have anywhere to go with it so I bailed. Jordan told me I should have number closed. I could have asked.

In summary: day game 2 approaches, night game 5+ approaches, none over five minutes.

What went well

  • Went to a place that I thought would be intimidating, and like everything else that I’ve thought in that way, it wasn’t and it was a lot of fun
What could have gone better

  • Opened a fair few sets but given that we couldn’t use conversation game found it hard to open and stay in set.
What did I do well that I haven’t done before

  • Went to Punk, improvised some dancefloor game approaches
As a footnote to last Tuesday’s report, I saw on the Project Rockstar thread that a bunch of those guys were at Sports Café when I was there and they had the same thoughts about and response to that night: it was full of frat boys and there wasn’t much to be done. So it puts my lack of action into perspective.

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

A Right State

So yesterday was pretty “ordinary” as my former Aussie flatmate would say. And when Aussies say “ordinary” they mean “shite”.

After a couple of days off gaming as I had other life considerations to deal with, I wanted to get back in with a bang on Tuesday. So I went out to do some solo day game as I’m growing to like it. And I texted a couple of people to see if they were up for doing Sports Café in the evening.

When I arrived in town it turned out that Christian was already there and so I decided to meet up with him. He was hanging out with Mystel and a bunch of others who were apparently from Project Rockstar on the LSS. We all sort of wondered around a bit and slowly we lost people until we ended up with just Christian and me.

But I felt like I couldn’t approach. The good work I’d done in solo day game now felt out of context when I was around others. I couldn’t get into state. It was a bit poo.

After a while I cut my losses and went home, intending to hit the evening session full on and make something of it. I met up with Greg and we went to Sports Café, but the place seemed to be full of American frat boys and hardly any girls. After spending some time there we decided there wasn’t much happening and decided to move on. However everywhere else was empty.

We ended up in Alphabet, which was also empty, but we had a chat to the fairly hot bar maid, and tried to talk to another table of girls, but they weren’t particularly interested in us.

So it was an all-round poor performance which highlighted a few ongoing sticking points for me:

  • I was caring too much about what other people think of me.
  • I was afraid of getting blown out
  • I couldn’t get myself into state
  • I wasn’t in a particularly sociable mood
  • I was tired and low energy for various reasons
I did a bit of research on state and how to improve it, as this was definitely one of the factors that was holding me back. What I realised is that it’s up to you to get yourself in state, no one’s going to do this for you. And the best way to do it is through action. So if you’re scared to approach then the best thing to do is approach, and of course not care about the outcome. There’s a good reframe I found: “you will also know the more you get rejected, the closer you are to getting laid.” Plus not care about what others think of you. There’s a good post on this on Fast Seduction.

Obvious stuff now but something that I forgot when I was in set.

I also had a call with Paul the NLP coach, and he mentioned that I need to focus on improving one area at a time. So for now the focus will be to do the five sets for five minutes, and making the conversation funny and interesting, rather than normal and boring.

Sum up of the day: sets opened: 2. Five minute conversations: 1 (if the barmaid counts)

What did I do well?

  • Had a good teasing conversation with the bar maid.
What could I do better next time?

  • Force myself to open sets when I’m not in state.
What did I do well that I haven't done before?

  • Teased the bar maid.

Monday, 11 August 2008

Logistical Nightmare in Fulham

So I meet up with Peter again to try a bit of sarging in Fulham, and we fall into the same problems that we had the previous night! We can’t find the bars with many people in.

We start of at Suburban which is a nice little place but not too busy. I open a couple of Aussie girls who are very drunk and singing along to Killers. We chat for a bit with them but they’re not too hot and very drunk. One girl insists on going into a big speech on how great Western Australia is – apparently it’s all down to being able to swim with any sea creature that you care to mention. Though it seems she didn’t want to talk about the in-breeding or pagan rituals that they have in that part of the world.

Anyway we take a bus to Fulham Road to a bar called Ad Lib that Peter knows. Unfortunately it isn’t the place he thought it was and there are only three groups of people in the whole place. Peter starts talking to two Italian girls who are hot (both 9s), and despite some uncomfortable logistics I manage to join in after a bit. Turns out they are sisters and one of them is only 15! Though she looks about 21. They’re very friendly but not attracted, and everyone decides to eject at roughly the same time.

We find the bar that Peter thought we were going to but it’s the same deal – hardly any people. We get a bus back to the Brooadway, have a look at Brogan’s but it’s full of guys, there’s a massive queue for Elk, Peter can’t get into Havana with his hat and so we go back to Suburban. It’s busier now and we start talking to a few girls at the bar. There’s one that sticks and keeps coming back to us at different points in the night. We have a good chat with her, she’s cute (about an 8) and has a friendly and interesting personality as well.

As we go to leave I think out load about getting her number, but it turns out Peter’s already taken it! Damn, should have asked for it earlier!

As a side note, it seems that there’s a lot of people away at the moment, given that it’s the height of holiday season, so a lot of bars aren’t that busy.

Sets approached solo: 2, with Peter: 3. Stayed in over five minutes: 3

What did I do well?

  • For the long sets, had good conversations with all of them.
What could I do better next time?

  • As before, I could force myself to open other mixed sets when there are very few girls in the venue.
What did I do well that I haven't done before?

  • Went out sarging in Fulham is about the only thing I can think of

Saturday, 9 August 2008

Logistical Nightmare in Hoxton

So we decide to try Hoxton on a Friday to see what it’s like, and to make a change from visiting Jewel every single Friday. So we start off in Hoxton Square Bar and Kitchen.

For some reason I’m in a nervous mood tonight. I often feel that way when I put too much pressure on myself. I have a pint of beer to get myself into the swing of things, and a quick chat with Peter and Jonathan gets me into state again. I do a brief opener on a girl next to me at the bar while I’m ordering a drink. Then there are two girls standing near us that I should open, but I don’t. Hmm.

Bar and Kitchen is OK but not that busy yet, so we decide to see what other bars are like, and check out the interestingly decorated and surreally named Zigfrid von Underbelly. It’s a nice place but there are very few approachable groups of women. Peter opens one set. We decide to try somewhere else.

We go to Bluu but it’s kind of the same as the last place. In fact there’s only one group of two attractive girls in the place. We’re standing near them and are amazed as about three guys, all in a row, open them with “So where are you from?” Now, I have no problem with standard conversation topic in the right circumstances, but these guys were coming off as needy and try-hard.

After a while there’s a gap and Peter pushes me into set. I open with Pirates versus Ninjas as it’s bound to be about ten times as much fun as they’ve had so far tonight. It hooks well and we have a chat about that. I stick in set and run a few other things on them. I’m stuck for something to talk about at some point and I get called out on it – I agree and make a joke about it. I then start talking about great holiday experiences and the main talker of the two goes into a great story about a baby tiger that she held in South Africa.

It’s all fairly good but there’s no real attraction, it’s just me spitting game. Also one girl is talking 95% of the time, so the other one is getting bored. Peter was trying to wing but the bar was crowded and he couldn’t get in. Also the girls – heavily made up bottle blondes – weren’t really my type. I stick in for well over five minutes and then eject. I could have tried to number close perhaps but I wasn’t sensing any attraction.

Incidentally while I was talking to them the guys who had just approached were being loud and boisterous and kept on “accidentally” bumping into our group, but mainly succeeded in spilling the quiet girl’s drink. After a minute of this and me sticking in set they stopped...

They’re the only two girls in there and so we decide to move on. We go to a place called Vice Versa that we were given a flyer for earlier but again hardly any girls were there. I entered without paying, which was quite funny. There were a couple of guys from The Foals walking around the venue. Nothing particularly cool was happening though. And there were no girls really. Next.

We ended up at Tea and for the fourth venue in a row, there were no girls (i.e. no easily approachable girls). We try to get back into Zigfrid but the bouncers won’t let us in without girls, and there’s a large queue for Bar and Kitchen. We try a couple of other places but it all looks like it’s kinda over.

I did open a bunch of other girls just briefly either asking for directions or trying out the “Do I look gay?” opener for Jonathan (who’s good looking enough to get away with it). But the lack of women is the biggest factor for us. It looks like Bar and Kitchen is the best place to be, as it’s fairly large and has a dancefloor. I’d like to try staying in there for a whole night next time and see what damage we can cause. Jonathan realises that he’s not opening at all really, and needs to sort that out. Also Industry, that we passed on the way back to Liverpool Street, and Favela Chic (now that I know where it is) look like they might be good.

Total for the night: over five sets, only one set over five minutes.

What did I do well?

  • I opened over five sets, and opened a high pressure set that had been hit on all night.
What could I do better next time?

  • Force myself to open other mixed sets when there are very few girls in the venue.
What did I do well that I haven't done before?

  • Opened a “high-pressure” set that was getting all the attention and stuck in for over five minutes.

Friday, 8 August 2008

A Glutton for Punishment

So I had a bit of improvement in day game yesterday, which was nice. But it’s still hard. I also came to the realisation that I make a lot of excuses not to approach, and this is really well disguised when I’m with wings and in night game. I really need to face up to myself and not allow my ego needing to protect itself to get in the way.

So I don’t know why, but I decided to do solo day game again today. I could have called on Cieran to wing me as he was out, but I didn’t. And when I arrived in town I realised I’d forgotten my phone so I couldn’t call him anyway!

I had made plans to meet up with Fargo in the evening to plan our Europe trip, but I had forgotten about that as well. I was toying with the idea of going to Punk, but I’m slightly scared by that. It will have to be a challenge I set myself sometime in the future. So solo day game it is. I’m a glutton for punishment! But in the back of my mind I know I want this.

There are two skills that I need for this, I’ve realised. One is to spot the hot girls in advance of approaching them. The other is to think of something to say. Both of these happen in about a millisecond, so it’s quite a skill to work on. Practice makes perfect, eh?

I wonder around my usual habitats and spot two cute girls sitting by the fountains in Trafalgar Square. I reckon they’re English which is a good thing as I’m getting tired of talking to tourists that are here for the day, and for some reason it seems more comfortable to relate to people from my own country. Hey, my last two girlfriends have been foreigners so I’ve no problem with that. It’s just a personal preference I think.

Anyway I try to approach but I bail. I realise I have to default to an indirect opener. I go for dental floss as I haven’t used it in a while. I actually open asking them if they’re English and then go for the opener. They are English and it hooks. After chatting about that I go direct and tell them that I thought they were cool. We chat about various stuff. But most importantly I’m joking with them and teasing them a little bit. It goes well and I’m chuffed. I do my five minutes and then eject.

I wonder round a bit more and look for more targets. I start to realise that I need to set myself a new challenge. That is to open anyone that I think I have half a chance with, rather than ones that I feel will open well. I dismiss too many approaches because I’m not ready in my head. I should just go for it and have fun, and enjoy the blow outs when they occur. Plus I have high standards about who I approach, so I don’t approach girls that I don’t find attractive, only 7s and above. Maybe that’s not a bad thing though.

Walking round the back streets of north Soho I spot a really cute girl on her own. I open her with Sasha’s large bag / drug dealer opener. Turns out she’s Australian. We have a chat about the drugs thing and then about other stuff, including the Sydney versus Melbourne debate. It goes well. Not loads of joking and flirting but it’s all good. I last a fair while.

I go and do some shopping in Topman. I might have been able to open but in shopping mode I’m not focussed so nothing happens.

I work my way back to Soho Square and spot a girl on her own. Again I feel a reticence to open but I force myself to do it anyway. I realise that I always put a lot of negative emotion on opening which is rarely justified. Here I open and it goes really well. I ask her the time first and see that she’s reading a paper so I ask her what’s going on in the news. She mentions something about monkeys so I talk about my experiences in Monkey Forest in Bali, Indonesia. It’s a good story, she’s loving it, there’s lots of interest and laughter. She’s actually mirroring my body language in a typical NLP way which I’ve never seen so blatantly before. Then she mentions she’s waiting for her boyfriend. I forget to do the “don’t tell me about your problems” boyfriend destroyer, but I’m not that morally suspect anyway. I eject soon after.

In Covent Garden I spot a girl on her own eating a sandwich. I ask her about it and get into conversation. She’s from Romania, which I think is a first for me. I tell her about my trip where I completely failed to get into Romania, which is a long story but I edit it down. We have a good chat and there is some interest but not much. However when I get up to leave she seems really interested in me and has enjoyed my company.

Finally in Trafalgar Square two girls ask me to take their picture. I do my standard picture-taking joke (where I pretend to take a picture of me with one of them) and then take their picture. I start up a simple conversation with both of them, asking where they’re from. Turns out they’re Russian, and they must be the friendliest Russians I’ve met. I’m instantly in a fun, jokey conversation with them, and they’re loving it. They do seem really into me and looking back now I should have number closed them. But five approaches in I’m on a roll and things are going well.

So I get my five approaches in, all over five minutes (at least I think, I’m not actually timing them). It took me two and a half hours, but I still managed it in the end. On to Paul’s questions:

What did I do well?

  • I managed to achieve my goals: staying in set for five minutes and joking and teasing with most of them. I still had approach anxiety, but I overcame it.
What could I do better next time?

  • Make sure I time the five minutes, and approach the “half chances” and not worry if they don’t work.
What did I do well that I haven't done before?

  • For the first time ever I deliberately went out to do solo day game. And did five sets for five minutes each.
After I came home and had dinner I met up with my ex-flatmate for his leaving drinks. I was very socially confident recounting various tales about various things to lots of different people. I felt great. I also found out that my natural flatmate is a trained dancer, and that counted somewhat towards his success on Monday night. I guess it’s back to Salsa next Wednesday then!

Thursday, 7 August 2008

Solo Day Game Sarging Hell

I completely forgot that I was going to sort out my Vietnamese visa today. In fact I had promised myself no day game during the working week to sort out admin stuff. But when Jason called me inviting me out for day game I agreed without thinking. Later I remembered, and soon afterwards found my desk repeatedly banging my forehead …

Either way I went for a swim as well, and pushed myself a bit harder than usual so was a bit knackered. I tube it to Trafalgar Square to meet up with Jason. There’s a big TV screen and acrobats and stuff as they are setting up the area to show the Olympics coverage. I start chatting to two Polish girls (I managed to open solo!) when Jason calls me and we meet up.

It turns out that he and his mate Arran have been out approaching since midday, and four hours later they’re both knackered and ready to go home. We have a drink and sit on the steps. They both start chatting to girls either side, I eventually go and approach a single girl writing on a notepad. Turns out she’s from Chicago and has been working on a cruise ship for four months and is on her way home. We have a nice long chat about travelling and stuff. But she’s leaving for home tomorrow so there’s no point in getting her number. Still, I have a good long chat with her.

Arran gets me to open another girl, but she’s Italian and doesn’t speak any English. I have a brief chat but move on. I think Arran leaves shortly afterwards and Jason’s AWOL so I go for a wonder, to try and open on my own. I see three Spanish girls sitting in Leicester Square and go to open them. I default to the hair opener and then have a brief chat about various things, including my attempts to learn Spanish, which are very basic. Turns out that Michel Thomas is wrong and “reservación” isn’t used – it’s “reserva". Bastard! Anyway.

Back in Trafalgar Square I say goodbye to Jason as he needs to go home. That leaves me with my hardest task. Solo day game. I’ve found this a nightmare before, and now I’m here again. I’ve opened four times and need to open five to meet my goals, but only two of them have been for more than five minutes. So I’ve got three more to do.

I wonder around for ages looking for someone to open, it’s hard. I go direct on two girls in Chinatown as they’re hot. I can’t stay in long as they’re in the middle of going to a restaurant but at least it’s an opener. I help someone with directions, but I’m not counting that as it’s not game.

I chat to two more Spanish girls back in Trafalgar Square for a few minutes, asking them about places to go in Barcelona (where I’m planning to go soon). I stick in there and keep talking at them, but the set isn’t hooking. At least the girls are hot. I stay in for close to five minutes and get by, but there’s no attraction.

Finally as I’m walking through Leicester Square I see two girls looking at some rings. I stop and talk to them about the rings – turns out they’re designed by one of their friends. The girls are from Brazil and South Africa, what a combination. They’re cute as well. I chat with them for long enough to complete my task.

It’s taken over an hour to do the last three sets and I’m tired and hungry. It’s time to go home. I do feel good that I pushed myself into the sets, and it was getting easier by the end.

So total for the day – 7 approaches, 4 over or close to five minutes, with slack allowed as most of it was done under the hardest conditions. 8.5 out of 10 I think!

What did I do well?

  • Forced through my crippling solo day game approach anxiety.
What could I do better next time?

  • Try and make the conversations more fun, introduce some teasing.
What did I do well that I haven't done before?

  • Forced myself to approach solo and have conversations. Previously I’ve only done simple tasks like asked for the time.
When I arrived back home I had a chat with my new flatmate, who is a natural in the truest sense of the word. Average looks, down to earth and friendly, fucks loads of hot women and has no idea how he does it. Turns out a friend he had round a few days ago ended up jumping on him and they had sex. Then on Monday he was leaving a bar when two hot Dutch girls walked in. A friend he was with approached them and he joined in. They were into him, my flatmate and the girls went to an exclusive club (the girls had to convince the doorman to get him in as he was in jeans and trainers), the barman gives them all free drinks all night and he ends up in a three-way snog in the bar. They take him back to their hotel and they have three-way oral sex. No full-on sex of course, as both the girls have partners (indeed one’s about to get married). Chick logic in effect. They then pay for his taxi home.

This guy is not part of the community. We have a lot to learn.

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Sasha’s bootcamp

I pay £200 for the privilege of going on bootcamp with Sasha (or Alex as normal people call him), one of the faces off LSS. It’s with Ace_PUA (real name Marcus) as well.

It starts with Sasha’s talk about his game. This is cool and very funny, but it’s really his sense of humour and character and really needs to be adapted to each individual’s character. At least I took notes this time (unlike at Sasha’s talk) so I have a record.

Then we go out and it’s forced approaching time. This is the bit that I’m good at – approaching when I’m told to. I have some AA but I can ignore this and clear my head when I have to.

There’s an older guy who has some limiting beliefs about being overheard and such. I help him out (who cares? They don’t know you, you don’t know them, you’ll never see them again) and he gets it.

Ace gets us to lie down on the ground in the middle of Covent Garden and the second time we get other random people to do it with us, and a bunch of people take our photograph.

I find it hard to relate to Sasha and Ace as people, it’s as though they’re putting on a performance or something. I just don’t click with them and I feel they’re holding something back. Though I think Sasha’s a very funny person.

The final feedback they give me is to stay in set and not eject. I know this. I didn’t expect this for £200 pounds I’m afraid. Lesson learnt I guess.

Of the sets I opened, the most notable were a French girl that I opened in Covent Garden with “You’re the second cutest girl I’ve seen all day, I just had to talk to you” which works well. She’s really cute and we have a nice chat. I try to number close and she takes my number, though no call yet. Still, I tried.

In Soho Square I opened an East European chick with Sasha’s opener of “Are you drawing a sketch of me?” using a style tone of voice (i.e. very fun and playful). It hooks and I start talking to both her and the girl sitting next to her (they don’t know each other). I get into a very surreal and fun conversation with both of them that lasts for a good while. The other (English) girl takes my number but no dice from her either. I was thinking about closing the East European girl but at that point Ace and Sasha joins in as we have to move on and interrupts my flow, so I can’t.

I also open a Ukrainian girl on the tube who is the hottest girl we’ve seen all day, but it goes nowhere. But James was right – Ukrainians are the hottest girls out there.

Later on I meet up with Liam and Fargo for a quick drink. We agree we can do the same thing as this bootcamp with each other, without having to pay £200 for the privilege.

Noticing Small Developments

So I meet up with Jake to do some daygame on a Friday. I’m knackered as I couldn’t sleep last night but I plough through. I also used my non-sleeping time to learn the state capitals of all of the American states. I’ve managed to remember most of them, and we use this as a routine from time to time throughout the day.

Jake wants an incentive so he gives me £100 and every time he opens a girl he gets £10 back. This takes the pressure off me so I open a few girls here and there while he’s in set. It also puts me in the instructor frame which gives me more confidence in general.

One girl I open is in Leicester Square on the grass listening to an iPod. I use the iPod opener and she’s listening to Coldplay. We talk about the new album and other things for a bit. It’s all good though I don’t stay in long.

I try to get Jake to open a girl taking a photo in Trafalgar Square. He won’t so I do instead, using “Are you a professional photographer?” We talk about Nelson for a while and the lions / dogs at the base. Again it’s all good despite the conversation not being long.

That evening I meet up with the regulars. We go to Tiger Tiger as a change from Jewel but it’s shit. We open a few sets. Liam and I open two South African Indian girls with the American state capitals opener and it hooks really well. We divide and conquer and Liam number closes his girl. Both girls are really into us – my one wants to join my band as a singer! – but mine’s not that hot so I don’t bother to number close.

I think I get blown out a couple of times but it doesn’t matter. Jordan’s having a tough time so I go instructor on his ass and get him to open. It works.

We split from Tiger Tiger as it’s shit and go to Jewel instead. Again we get a couple of blow outs. Liam and I open a large group of girls with the states opener again and I end up hooking with one of the girls, who works in HR for HSBC. I have a chat for a bit then eject, and as I do so she says, you can come back later if you want. I should have number closed again but she wasn’t quite floating my boat, though having said that she wasn’t bad, she was a borderline case as far as I was concerned!

As mentioned in my July review it’s after this night that I notice I have the alpha body language down, and I really don’t care about getting blown out any more. This is a really, really cool development and makes me very happy. Later Liam and Fargo mention to me that they can’t tell if my sets are going well or badly any more from my reactions, which shows that I have become more detached from the outcome. Good progress.

First time in Sports Café

So it’s a Tuesday. I haven’t made any plans to meet up with anyone this evening, but the beauty of the LSS means that someone has put up a post inviting everyone out. There’s a bit of a risk with these things due to intimidation and how well I’ll get on with the guys but I decide to go anyway.

I meet up with Christian, the organiser, and the first thing that strikes me is that he has a crazy moustache! It’s not every day that you see a hairy lip like that! Anyway we meet up with a bunch of other people and go to the venue. Over the next few minutes the group seems to increase non stop until there’s about ten of us. Then I get a message from Jason who was with me on the bootcamp I did on Saturday. Turns out he’s in the same venue. I go and meet him and he’s with about five other guys as well! The night is turning into a monster!

To be honest the venue isn’t at its best. It’s not that busy and there are more guys than girls. Apparently normally (during term time) there are more girls than guys, and it’s very busy.

At this stage in the evening there’s only one group of three girls and so Jason and I go and approach them. Jason opens them and they’re really friendly, they’re celebrating quitting their jobs as bartenders. Jason dominates initially, he can talk the hind legs off a horse, so I’m just sticking in there. We sit down eventually. After a while I manage to split off one of the girls so I can talk to her and leave Jason to talk to everyone else. I start talking about normal stuff but quickly manage to move it on to more interesting topics of conversation like travelling, hopes and dreams and so on.

It’s going well but then the main girl that Jason’s speaking to splits off and then distracts my girl and kind of cuts us out in a way. I think Jason had just been spitting game and hadn’t progressed the conversation to more comfort type stuff. Either way we’re out of there.

Later we go and talk to three more girls by a window, and we’re getting no joy from them. Within a minute a couple of guys come back from the bar to join them, so it’s clear why. We eject; that’s just the way it is!

With Christian we open a large group of Americans. He puts his foot in it by asking some Asian girls if they’re sisters – it comes across like he’s saying they all look the same, which doesn’t go down well! I change tack as quickly as I can, and end up doing the American state capitals routine, which is just a small DHV but quite fun. The most difficult one was Maine, which is Augusta. But there’s too many of them for us to hold their attention and we kinda lost it from the start.

One interesting thing that Christian tells me about himself is that about four years ago he went out sarging for the first time with some of the guys that are now the top PUAs in the UK, London Soul being the only one that I can remember now but there were others. But he was there when they were all chumps, and now they are gods amongst men (or rather top instructors for the larger companies). Christian didn’t focus on sarging as much as them over that period so he is still at a basic level. But it shows what can be achieved. Have faith in the process.

After that I get talking to one of Jason’s friends who can’t open, trying to get him to. I can’t help him but I inadvertently get myself out of state so I find it hard to open. We move to the dancefloor and I’m just not feeling it, so I check out a bit early. It’s a bit lame of me, and I could have easily spent another half an hour getting into state and having a bit of dance. Lesson learned.

On Monday I met up with Paul who does NLP training and he encouraged me to review sarging sessions using the following format, so here it is:

What did I do well?

  • Stayed in set with the bartender girls even though I felt like ejecting and had a good conversation with one of them for a good while, not just normal conversation, talking about life and dreams and so on.
What could I do better next time?

  • Open more sets, not get so in my head after talking to people who can’t open.
  • I should have had more physical contact with the bartender girls.
  • Stick in with the dancefloor game instead of going home.
What did I do well that I haven’t done before?

  • Nothing specific other than going to Sports Café and meeting up with about 20 new wings that I haven’t met before.

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

July in Review

OK so now that I’ve completed the field reports for up to the end of July, it’s time to check in with my goals, review the month in general, and set some goals for August.

July Goals

By the end of July I will have number closed 15 times, 5 times with girls who are 7 or above

I have increased my number closing to 4 this month, but not 15 times. A 400% increase on June though so that’s something.

By the end of July I will have been to ten new venues for sarging, and have put together a list of venues for each day of the week that has the hottest girls

Partial success! I don’t know or remember if I have visited 10 new venues, but I do have a list of venues for each day of the week:

Mon: Tiger Tiger
Tue: Sports Café or Zoo Bar
Wed: Cheapskates or Salsa
Thu: Roadhouse (though I would like to find another one)
Fri: Jewel or Jrink
Sat: Brick Lane and I want to try Favela Chic
Sun: Pitcher and Piano in Fulham (still to try)

By the end of July I will have opened ten girls hotter than a 7.

To be honest I haven’t been keeping close track of this, but I’ve open loads of girls and most of them have been 7 or over, so I’ll count this as a success.

By the end of June I will have researched and implemented how to turn my conversation seductive, and used it five times.

Haven’t really done this, need to work on it.

By the end of July I will have kiss closed ten girls.

I have kiss closed no girls, so failure here

By the end of July I will have gone sarging solo five times.

I have gone solo sarging three times, but goddam it’s difficult.

Other stuff

Here are some general points that I have realised over the last month:

  • I became aware of my constant need for love and attention, I’ve dealt with it and I am more at peace with myself as a result.
  • I have read some of Psychcybernetics and used it with good effect. Need to continue with this.
  • I have improved by ability to force myself to open – like I have no control over my legs. Need to continue with this.
  • I have had four number closes and two follow up attempts, but no responses so this is the next area to work on.
  • I am feeling more confident in general. Seen an improvement in my body language and posture. I am caring less about getting blown out.
  • I have been attending talks and bootcamps which have helped a lot. I’ll continue to do this.
  • Definite improvement seen, which is really great.
New goals for August

  • Number close 15 times
  • Kiss close five times
  • Go on three “Day Twos”
  • Get laid once
  • Go out six times a week at least (day or night game)
  • Research and implement how to turn my conversation seductive, and use it five times.
  • Go sarging solo five times
  • Open at least five people each session and stay in set for at least five minutes once successfully opened.
  • Get some routines down to keep in conversation in set
  • Continue to use the Psychocybernetics visualisation techniques
  • Continue to attend LSS talks and bootcamps as costs allow (i.e. mainly the cheapest ones!)
Wish me luck!

Logistical State Crash

So for Thursday after the failure of Zoo Bar I revert back to the tried and tested Thursday night location of Roadhouse, with Steve who’s up for something tonight. However there’s a logistical error. I arrive at 9 and Steve is delayed. No problem, I’m in state so I just walk around a bit and try and sum up the courage to open some people on the street. But solo street game is a real chore for me currently and I get nowhere. Unknown to me Steve arrives and goes into the club. Meanwhile my state completely crashes as I can’t open on the street and I feel crap. I think I ask one person for the time.

Forty minutes later I eventually get inside and find Steve. We sit down and have a chat for a bit. While Steve is at the bar three Brazilian girls come and sit down next to us. The one nearest is super hot – like a cross between Selma Hayek and Penelope Cruz. With a bit of Nelly Furtado thrown in for good measure. She’s hotter than hot.

I start a conversation with her and talk about normal conversation. I find out she’s from Brazil and other things that I can’t remember now. But once again it goes nowhere. I need to up my conversation game. I should have just talked about random shit I guess. Anything that came to my mind. But I stalled. Steve came back and I continued with him.

Soon afterwards the band started playing so I went to watch them, as I enjoy it so much. But the noise made it hard to open so I didn’t. I think I got a bit of eye contact from some girls, but I didn’t do anything about it. At one point I was pinched on the ass, but some girl’s handbag had been jabbing itself in my back and I was a bit annoyed, so I didn’t react well.

There were a couple of groups of girls that I could have perhaps opened but given my low state and general ordinariness I didn’t do anything. I called it a night at that point.

Lessons learned

  • Make sure you make clear arrangements with wings if you’re waiting for them outside the Roadhouse
  • Roadhouse is hard to open once the band starts.
  • I need to find something else to do if solo street game isn’t working for me
  • I need to improvise things to say when I run out of conversation in set
  • I need to plough through low state and somehow get myself opening again