Wednesday, 13 August 2008

A Right State

So yesterday was pretty “ordinary” as my former Aussie flatmate would say. And when Aussies say “ordinary” they mean “shite”.

After a couple of days off gaming as I had other life considerations to deal with, I wanted to get back in with a bang on Tuesday. So I went out to do some solo day game as I’m growing to like it. And I texted a couple of people to see if they were up for doing Sports Café in the evening.

When I arrived in town it turned out that Christian was already there and so I decided to meet up with him. He was hanging out with Mystel and a bunch of others who were apparently from Project Rockstar on the LSS. We all sort of wondered around a bit and slowly we lost people until we ended up with just Christian and me.

But I felt like I couldn’t approach. The good work I’d done in solo day game now felt out of context when I was around others. I couldn’t get into state. It was a bit poo.

After a while I cut my losses and went home, intending to hit the evening session full on and make something of it. I met up with Greg and we went to Sports Café, but the place seemed to be full of American frat boys and hardly any girls. After spending some time there we decided there wasn’t much happening and decided to move on. However everywhere else was empty.

We ended up in Alphabet, which was also empty, but we had a chat to the fairly hot bar maid, and tried to talk to another table of girls, but they weren’t particularly interested in us.

So it was an all-round poor performance which highlighted a few ongoing sticking points for me:

  • I was caring too much about what other people think of me.
  • I was afraid of getting blown out
  • I couldn’t get myself into state
  • I wasn’t in a particularly sociable mood
  • I was tired and low energy for various reasons
I did a bit of research on state and how to improve it, as this was definitely one of the factors that was holding me back. What I realised is that it’s up to you to get yourself in state, no one’s going to do this for you. And the best way to do it is through action. So if you’re scared to approach then the best thing to do is approach, and of course not care about the outcome. There’s a good reframe I found: “you will also know the more you get rejected, the closer you are to getting laid.” Plus not care about what others think of you. There’s a good post on this on Fast Seduction.

Obvious stuff now but something that I forgot when I was in set.

I also had a call with Paul the NLP coach, and he mentioned that I need to focus on improving one area at a time. So for now the focus will be to do the five sets for five minutes, and making the conversation funny and interesting, rather than normal and boring.

Sum up of the day: sets opened: 2. Five minute conversations: 1 (if the barmaid counts)

What did I do well?

  • Had a good teasing conversation with the bar maid.
What could I do better next time?

  • Force myself to open sets when I’m not in state.
What did I do well that I haven't done before?

  • Teased the bar maid.

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