Monday, 14 July 2008

How to find a bunch of cool wings

Well I'm still ill today (coughing up a lung according to my flatmate) so here's a post about how to find wings.

If you’re starting out in pick up, there’s a good chance that your mates either don’t know about the community, don’t want to get involved for whatever reason, or you don’t want to tell your mates what you’re doing (though it might be worthwhile). So you’ll need to find wings that are guys that you haven’t met before. Luckily there are lots of ways to do this.

  1. Find a bunch of pick up / seduction forums. There is more than one. Do a search on Google, you’ll find some links between forums in threads. About five should be a good start.
  2. Post a new thread saying that you’re looking for wings
  3. Post replies in existing threads looking for wings.
  4. PM (personal message) guys in threads about wings asking if you can wing with them.
  5. Be honest about where you are in terms of development and what you want to do.
Not everyone will reply for various reasons. Don’t worry about it, keep on contacting new people, don’t hassle the old ones as there are new people posting all the time so there will be more chances in the future.

Now you may think, but what if everyone I meet are complete social misfit losers with greasy hair who only talk in algebra and still live at home with their parents (after all, they’re not getting laid)? Well there are a few things to mention about that:

  • Essentially that is negative thinking and something you need to work on as part of pickup anyway
  • If anyone is actually like that, then just because you meet them once, doesn’t mean that you have to meet them ever again.
  • I must have met over 20 people in the few months I’ve been doing this, and not one of them has been weird in the sense that I couldn’t relate to them or didn’t want to meet them again. So it’s most likely not worth worrying about anyway. Of the people I’ve met of course there are some that I get on with better than others, and some that are more out there than others, but they’re all basically good people.
At the start, take up every offer you can get, so you can have a feel for what people are like to wing with and what works best for you. Some people will be better than you, others worse, sometimes both but in different areas. That’s OK. You can learn from those who are better, and you can teach those who are worse. Teaching is actually a good way for you to learn about yourself as well. Don’t just be a value taker.

After a while though you’ll get to know some wings who are better for you than others. Some though not all will feel the same way about you. Usually these are people who are on the same wavelength as you, have the same sense of humour, and are often (though not always) at the same level as you.

You’ll also find that you end up knowing a lot of wings, and there is a chance that every Friday and Saturday night you’ll end up in a bar somewhere, with about nine guys or so. That, frankly, is way too many. I think two is great, anything up to five is doable depending on the location. More than that and you’re going to chodesville on a robo-horse. So you’re going to have to manage the number of people you go out with. This is the point that I am at!

Also, because of the posts that you’ve put up you’ll keep on getting contacts from the new people coming into the community. If you have a large group of wings then it’s probably best not to respond to them. It’s a harsh world but they’ll find other people that want to wing with them.

Finally, when you start out you may be thinking, hey if only I can find a wing who is a master PUA then he can teach me everything and I’ll get good really quick. Well, if this happens then great. However the chances are slim. Think about it – most of these top guys get paid to teach this stuff, why would they do it for free? One of the facts of life is that newbies will blow everyone out of a good set no matter how good the other guy is. Top PUAs won’t want to waste their time doing this. So expect to meet people mostly like yourself. However as you hang out and develop, you’ll all learn from each other and this will be beneficial in its own right.

Of course if you can find the top guys you could make friends with them so they want to teach you. But don’t ask me how to do that...

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