Sunday, 4 January 2009

I’ve Been Driving in My Car

Something interesting has come from combining two things that have happened since I’ve returned from travelling. The two things are receiving a sat nav for my car, deciding not to drink for the whole of January. The upshot of this is that I can drive to a night out, and not have to worry about getting the last tube or an expensive cab home.

So the plan was to go out to Hoxton. I entered my car and set up my sat nav. Of course I do actually know the way to Hoxton very well, but as it’s so new it’s still a thrill to be told where to go by a tidy English girl’s voice.

So I meet with Pete, Liam and Gre---, sorry, Fargo, and have a quick chat with them before heading out to Hoxton Square Bar and Kitchen. There seems to be a lot of guys around but the place is filling up. I need to open some sets. I think someone points one out to me and I go and open it. I use the hair opener and it hooks but I don’t take it further as I’m not feeling anything from the girls. They tell me to keep my hair short. I think I need a haircut anyway.

We wonder around a bit more and I can tell the intentions that I had when I wrote my resolutions are now somehow lost in a vague cloud of memory, as a familiar feeling of approach anxiety and general inaction seems to hover over me like a bad smell.

Luckily however I’m not drinking so my thoughts in the moment at least remain clear and I deal with the situation as best I can. There doesn’t seem to be much happening in HSB&K so we decide to try Ziegfried von Underbelly. It’s closed for a private party.

I show Mother to the guys as they’ve never been there before. The place is empty but still looks cool, and there are a few hot women in there, it’s just that the place is pretty dead. I walk them past Hoxton Pony, which is surprisingly closed. Has it folded? The public needs to know!

Grargo takes us to the Blue Last which I’ve never been to before despite walking past it many a time. As we arrive there a random girl starts talking to me with a pretend hand-microphone. We fluff for a bit but as the place is pretty static and Pete and Feig don’t have anyone to talk to they decide to head for Light.

For some reason I eject from the group that I’m talking to, another sticking point. I was opened, I should have stayed in there. Practice… We meet the other guys near Light as that place is closed as well. We decide to cut our losses and head for Big Chill.

It’s as crowded and as noisy as ever. A few people are in sets, a few of us wonder around. Eventually I persuade Liam to force me into set. He picks two cute girls, one is wearing a furry jacket. I open her about that and though she’s playing on being annoyed that everyone is talking to her about it, I jump in on the joke and it breaks the ice well. I end up chatting to them for a while until they blow me out to go for a fag. I was about to number close one of them before they left but the moment passed too quick. Funnily Pete pointed them out earlier and I didn't rate them then. Having seen them close and spoken to them they were actually pretty cute.

I thought about opening two hot chicks sitting on a table near us but one of them was on the phone for ages so I didn’t. Should have waited until they had finished and then done it anyway. Need to break through that comfort zone…

So here are the learning points I picked up from tonight:

  • Re-read my resolutions just before going out. This will help me remember clearly why I am doing what I’m doing, and what I want to get out of it.
  • Force myself to open. Luckily the guys are pretty cool when it comes to forcing me to open when I ask them to. But really, ultimately, I need to generate this for myself. But it doesn’t hurt to ask for help for the time being.
  • Stay in set for as long as possible. The old “blow me or blow out” gambit. The ego loss from having girls become bored of me or whatever should be insignificant by now.
  • Close! A simple “What’s your number?” should suffice.

All in all, tonight was a good night for me to get back into the “traditional game” in bars and so on. It was good to have one set at least go fairly well, and of course the mysterious case of being opened in the night-time (instead of actively opening) occurred once again. Man, I must look hot. But it was also good to go out with a clear head and be able to catch myself if I veered into negative thinking. This non-drinking thing may have something going for it...


So here’s the follow up on the numbers I took on NYE. I texted them both today (Sat) for the first time. The girl I met on the tube I texted with a straightforward text reminding her who I was, making a comment about NYE and then suggesting we meet for a drink. The girl I met in the club I did the same but in a more sexual way. I mentioned that she danced sexy and ended it with an “x”. Reasoning that as she opened me on NYE she was pretty up for it already.

I haven’t received a reply from the last one yet, so that looks like it’s not happening. The tube girl did reply and after some texting back and forth about when to meet, we’ve kind of left it open as nothing was matching. I’ll come back to her next week. Only thing is that she has stated that she wants to meet “as neighbours” (she lives on the next street to me) which kind of says LJBF to me. I’ll still meet her anyway and see what happens. It won’t hurt to have a hot female friend that lives nearby if it comes to that.

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