Saturday, 31 January 2009

A Dearth of Targets and an Impromptu House Party

So I meet up with Liam and Pete in Richmond as it seems right to try out something new. Padraig and later Arran turn up and join us too.

I have broken one of my Resolutions by getting stoned before going out but then hey, it’s my first week back in work and it seemed a good enough reason to celebrate, seeming as I still haven’t had a drink all year and I then had two weekend nights left before I could drink again, damn fate toying with my emotions.

Anyway despite that I was more or less clearheaded in terms of game at least, thinking and feeling as good as I did sober which never used to be the case.

So we head out to the bars and pretty much everywhere in Richmond was either empty or full of blokes and ugly chicks. After bar hopping the whole place we decide to move to Fulham to see what’s happening there.

Turns out that it’s mainly the same, with the exception of the evergreen Elk (and I guess the Slug, though there’s no point in going there – for me at least). We hang in the Elk a bit and the energy of the group is completely dead. I’m dancing a bit to try and keep my energy up as much as I can but it’s not rubbing off on the others at all.

While everyone’s choding out in the corner, I spot a hot chick sitting on her own at the corner of the table. She was pretty much you’re textbook hot blonde Aussie chick, good body, pretty face, comfortably a 7 if not more. She was the hottest girl in the place from where I was standing. I had to open her.

I went up and started with “You look like you’ve lost your friends.”
She said, “Nah, they’re just at the bar getting served.”
“OK cool. Well you can hire me to be your friend for a few minutes.”

We then talked random stuff for a few minutes. It was so random that I didn’t know what the conversation was about. Mainly because I couldn’t hear a word she was saying. Funnily enough despite that she was laughing a bit and seemed to be cool with the situation. However I finally stalled out as I had no idea what was going on and she got a bit distant.

I think she was actually with a guy though I was unsure whether they were friends or sordid lovers. Could have asked.

So it was back to hanging with the guys. Someone sipped their drink. Someone let out a sigh. Another had a thousand yard stare. Yeah baby, we were on fire.

The dancefloor was encroaching towards us and soon enough there was a group of girls gyrating sensually a couple of feet away. There was a group of four with one fat, one average, one hot and another I can’t remember in it. I can’t remember what I opened with but got chatting to the average one.

She was Portuguese and couldn’t speak English so well. At first I was unsure whether she was just putting it on, and she had the kind of comedy foreigner accent that an English speaker would use. But she actually was foreign scum. I chatted to her for a bit and then the hot girl started dancing with her to kinda drag her away (a cockblock shit test perhaps?) and so I ejected.

After that we moved position and took our circle of fun to another part of the bar. There, we all stood around looking at stuff. I tried dancing for my energy levels, but it looked even more incongruous than normal now that we weren’t at the edge of the dancefloor.

We moved on from there though I think that was a mistake. It was the only full place around that had girls in it. Yes most of them were on the dancefloor but we have to make those kind of situations work for us. We can’t keep on making excuses about having the “right situation.” You’ve got to take the situation as it comes and make it work for you as best you can. Plus, I like to dance!

After splitting the group and bouncing around another range of bars, we ended up in Suburban which is kind of a hidden rough diamond. It’s not big and it’s not stylish but you tend to get a group of people in there having fun, and a fair proportion of girls.

We walked to an area where there were some people dancing. I tried my high energy opening-a-set-on-the-dancefloor opener that I first invented and used on the fly in Bangkok when I was slowly getting myself in state. “Hey, you guys look like you’re the ones having the most fun in the club!” I said with an arm round the shoulder of one or two of them and joining in the dance. There was more chat about how awesome everyone was and I high fived one of the girls.

Strangely I felt self-conscious about my dancing so didn’t hang with them on the dancefloor. After that we pretty much happily choded away by the side of the dancefloor. Liam went and did a set, which I think was his third for the night. Pete I hadn’t seen open, nor the other two guys.

Thoughts Part I

I think tonight was abetted by a few factors. (1) there weren’t that many women or hot women in the venues we went to, except maybe one. (2) It was a group of five we should have split to smaller groups. (3) Of the five, almost all of us were low energy. That’s chodesville by default.

For my part, I’d opened three sets. I seem to be opening more high energy at the moment, which I think is good for me and gets me into state too. I’m very conscious that I’m plateauing at the moment, opening and ejecting soon after. I think I stuck in set a bit longer this time than before, but only by a tiny amount. Also, I’m not worried that I’m plateauing. I mean in one way when you think, hey, I’ve had one night stands before and I’ve had girlfriends, so I know how to do this so I should be doing it all the time. But thinking like that only leads you to ask why you aren’t doing that, which focuses too much on your weaknesses.

I prefer to think that yeah I’ve done it before, but the lack of consistency means that the methods aren’t subconsciously written into my system yet. Plus in this game every set has it’s own unique set of circumstances, and once it a while it all aligns successfully with your skills and assets. You need experience to deal with the variety of situations, and consciously codify it in some way so that you know what works.

Secondly, this is often more about delivery not content, i.e. it doesn’t matter about the content of the method, that’s a crutch to hang your belief that this can be solved. But really you don’t need to method, you just need the belief. Easier said than done. But it’s worth bearing in mind, and also means that you don’t have to worry about whether the method is correct. That’s a glib comment and not universally true, but has some truth in it.

Thirdly, most of your learning is done on the plateau. If I look back to my last plateau, I was going out sarging a lot, but I got into a pattern of essentially not really opening at all. Maybe one set a night. Looking back now I can see that I would often rely on my wings to open a set and then I would join in. So I was talking but I wasn’t opening. Also I was fucking up my game in other ways, like getting stoned or too tired from exercise like a hardcore swimming session, which both killed my game.

When I went travelling I subconsciously reflected on this and realised the few changes that I needed to make. I had to change parts of my lifestyle slightly so that I had the best chance I could of being up for sarging. I needed to force myself out of my comfort zone and open, something I’d always known but hadn’t pushed myself to do. And other things but these are the most relevant factors.

Now I’m on a new plateau, opening and starting a conversation, but not staying in set and ejecting too soon afterwards. I need, once again, to go outside my comfort zone and stay in set as long as I can.

I guess with this the belief that’s holding me back is that if I stay in set I’ll end up just standing there looking bored, boring the girl and choding out. So I need to focus on forcing myself to stay in set and forcing myself to talk. And then focus on talking in a way that will achieve my goal: creating attraction, creating comfort and seducing her or closing her. I’m so focussed on how I’m coming across it’s taking up all my mental energy, which I could otherwise direct at seduction.

Back to the Report

So I drove home and dropped Pete off, only to find there was an impromptu mini-house party going on at home. To set the scene: There were three of my flat mates, about four of their various friends, and my German Chef neighbour. They were all drunk and half were doing coke. I was hanging in one room with Chef and a few others.

In the kitchen there was my female flatmate and one of her friends was this cute English chick who had a very pretty face and a sexy petite body as well. She was all cute and giggly and like a little ball of fun.

Anyway she was in the kitchen and then at one point she comes into the living room saying that her mate had told her to come in here (plausible deniability anyone?) . Now there’s me and Chef on one sofa, and my other flatmate on another. Where does she sit? Right in between me and Chef. Automatic touching (kino) from her as she’s right next to me (and Chef).

She then proceeds to talk about random drunk chick stuff and I chime in as best I can. But I don’t currently deal with these situations well. A girl is very subtly coming on to me and I need to escalate, but I’m in a room of people and there’s a lot of self-generated social pressure.

Somehow it gets worse as my flatmate and I start talking about loads of stats to do with space and supersonic travel (I mean, crick crack at it’s finest, huh?). It was never going to help. After a while her friend came and took her away.

Thoughts Part II

I should have cut the threads and gone into comfort and teasing. Or shown her my “sausage collection” in my room.

This has been a long report.


Anonymous said...

'But she actually was foreign scum.'

I really enjoy your posts. Tell me this was a type error.

Karlos the Marmoset said...

Haha it's a joke! Hopefully you'd know me well enough from my posts to know that I'm not anti-foreign, therefore that's clearly not serious.

I love bad taste jokes though. I joke with my German friends about being Nazis etc. If it was meant seriously we'd be in a bad place, luckily we all have a sense of humour. Not for everyone I guess.

Anonymous said...