Thursday, 22 January 2009

Glass Onion

So I had lunch yesterday with a girl I met in Goa. She’s really fun and hot, but I’m already in the friends zone with her I think. Still, it will be good to have a hot chick as a friend that I can invite out to various functions and use as social proof and a pivot. Cynical, eh? She’s good fun to be around as well. And I guess she likes my company.

So after the lame weekend I know I need to go sarging again. Wednesday is probably my best chance for mid-week game this week. I toyed with the idea of inviting Jake out to Salsa as I haven’t met with him for ages. Then Liam texts me to ask if I’m up for going out tonight, so I take the path of least resistance, suggest Salsa to him and we go for it.

I arrive later than planned due to parking problems, but it’s OK. We’ve missed the start of the 8 o’clock class so we hang by the bar. Nearby there’s a girl standing on her own with her back to us. It’s a prime opening opportunity. I think about it for a bit, have a few twangs of nervousness and then go for it. I ask her why she’s not dancing. She missed the start of the class too.

We start having a pretty normal conversation and I introduce her to Liam. She’s pretty average looking, not ugly at all but not hot either. Conversation, conversation, conversation. Nothing sexual.

At one point an old work colleague called Antonio comes up and speaks to me. I have a good catch up with him, which was cool.

After a while it’s time for our dancing lesson. It all comes back to me pretty easily. I try talking to the girls as we partner up. It’s not easy, as you’re trying to learn the steps, sensing the girl’s movements and reactions, and then holding a conversation too. I exchange a few words with most of them. There are two hot girls. One I find out later has a boyfriend with her, the other is the instructor. Boy, her ass can move.

The instructor compliments me on my dancing. I like. At one point I squeeze her hand and she squeezes back. Hmm. I never see her again after the lesson. Would have been interesting to have tried to game her!

After that we wander about a bit looking for sets. There are a lot of guys here and most of the girls are with partners. There’s one table of about twelve girls in the restaurant. There’s a box with an inflated condom in it. Situational opener, yah? “What’s all this about?” I ask. Turns out it’s a hen party, obvious in retrospect. The girls ask me to bite a sweet off her bracelet, so I oblige and they take photos while I do it.

The set isn’t hooking so much, so I eject. I could have forced myself to stay in though, indeed I could have locked in by just grabbing a chair, sitting down and talking to them. Comfort zones … failure …

We scout about a bit more looking for girls. We think about leaving. As we’re walking up the stairs I spot two girls standing by the side. They’re hot. One of them looks at me and I detect a slight (i.e. MASSIVE) IOI. We walk up the stairs and I think about going back to open them. I look to see where they are and one of them clocks me directly checking them out. A second later and that girl is dancing with some other guy, leaving the second girl on her own. I have to open her. I head down.

I ask her if she doesn’t have anyone to dance with. She mishears it as though I’m asking her to dance. That’ll work too. We start to salsa but I’m more interested in talking to her. Plus we’re not gelling in the dancing area and eventually stop.

Turns out she’s German and, with the brief few phrases I squeeze out, she thinks I’m German too. But it’s normal conversation time once again. I think I’ve found my next sticking point after opening. Anyway eventually the conversations stalls and I leave. She was a good 7.5 incidentally.


I was opening well when the opportunity presented itself. Opening is less of a problem now. Also I was opening when I was in the middle of talking to Liam, which was a problem I had before. I do feel a bit guilty ditching a friend to open girls, but hey, that’s why we’re here. And I’m sure we’re all old enough not to be offended. I hope.

So the next problem is the attraction / comfort / seduction sequence. I kind of presume attraction anyway (perhaps falsely). Comfort is kind of OK, though it’s perhaps not as good as it could be. I need to focus on the connection more. Then seduction is kind of non-existent.

Talk to Liam about this afterwards he mentions that a video we recently saw suggests talking about normal stuff while having a sexual subcommunication. I should try to work on this. I guess I fear coming across as creepy. I need to discard that limiting belief. I also fear getting it wrong and getting blown out. Comfort zones again. Get used to failure. The same thing in a different area.

1 comment:

Maciek said...

your mistake is assumint attraction and comfort. they both take time. if I were you I would learn a few routines like DHV gambits funny stories. I can see you've got hardly any approach anxiety and you can stay in set without them... but just imagine how would it be if you had a backup plan if your mind is blank.. A W S O M E