I read my resolutions before I left, and thankfully as I was waiting for Jon to come out of his flat I spoke to a girl who was lost and helped her with her directions.
After that we hit up Exit for a drink and a chat. There were two girls sitting near us who weren’t that hot, but I knew I had to open them. Jon went to the loo at one point and so I gave it a shot while he was away. I opened with something lame about a bow that one of them had a bow in her hair. They were a little shy so I just had a brief conversation with them and then split.
We moved on to Big Chill but it was rammed and really hard to approach girls as there was usually a solid wall of guys in between us and them. We moved on from there after a while and went to a new place (for Jon – in the past I had been there a couple of times during my coke phase; I remember vomiting into the sink from coke abuse on one occasion … good times …) called Home, but it was dead empty in stark contrast to Big Chill. There was one set there though which I offered to Jon but he didn’t want to take it, so I had a quick go.
I asked them what time the place got busy, and we had a brief chat about that. They were actually hot but the conversation was very factual and in my mind I was already set to leave so it didn’t really go anywhere.
After that we went to Industry which is a place I’ve been wanting to do to for a long time, as it looks quite cool. Unfortunately crunchy credit, freezing temperatures and a lack of post-Christmas pay cheques meant that it was pretty empty too.
There were two or three girls who were sitting near us that I could have opened, but I didn’t drag myself away from the conversation with Jon to do it. I failed to break out of my comfort zone.
We decided to move on and while I was putting my jacket on Jon opened a random girl in a group of people. We had a brief chat with her but she wasn’t that hot at all, but good practice all the same.
We moved on to Mother, and as it was hitting 11.30 – 12.00 the place was starting to fill up. There weren’t lots of hot chicks around though, but some. Again I was finding it hard to open. All the sets were mixed. There was one set of three not-that-fit girls that Jon was thinking of opening but in the two minutes it took to think about it, they were opened by some other guys in the place. Fair play to them. Three second rule and all that…
After that we decided to call it a night and it was distinctly average. So what went wrong?
Well there weren’t that many people out tonight except at the Big Chill which was packed and hard to move around in anyway. We were to a certain extent a victim of circumstance but this isn’t about the world handing girls to us on a plate, we need to go out and force the issue, particularly in situations like this.
I wasn’t taking responsibility for finding myself comfortable talking to Jon, and not pushing myself to open when there was a slight opportunity there. In a way I was enjoying the conversation too much, or not wanting to cut it cold to go and approach, which is silly really as that’s exactly what I need to be doing.
I would also keep offering the sets to Jon to see if he wanted to open, partly because he doesn’t open enough and I want him to improve, but partly because I’m sickeningly self-sacrificial and probably subconsciously protecting my ego. I need to be clear about what I want and go out there and take it.
Low energy was a problem too. It partly comes from resting in the conversation too much. However after three cokes I had a bit of energy and could have happily made a fool of myself on the dancefloor. I didn’t, and I should have.
We need to go out earlier and stay out later. Nine ‘til twelve isn’t actually that long especially when there aren’t that many people out. Seven ‘til two could be a lot more productive I think.
In summary:
- Open despite having a conversation with someone else
- Talk to guys if there are no girls to talk to. Or talk to mixed sets.
- Arrive earlier and stay out longer
- Open with something fun and interesting, rather than talking about factual, "directions" type stuff.
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