This Means Nothing to Me... Oh, Vienna!

So I'm on holiday with my ultra-AFC mate, who I previously did a brief bit of travelling with last year through Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand. [link] On that trip we made a drunken promise while watching the inaugural Formula One Singapore Grand Prix, and that was to attend the event next year in person. And so it came to pass that just a little over a year later, we were in Singapore watching Lewis Hamilton claim a dominating victory through the streets of the city state.

I had also made a promise to myself never to go travelling with my AFC mate ever again, as he hates being out of his comfort zone and thus complains a lot about irrelevant shit, doesn't know how to have fun and generally has a habit of ruining the mood.

Well something had to give, I really wanted to go to the grand prix and didn't have anyone else to go with so the decision was made. One and a half weeks in and it's been fine. To be honest I've learnt to accept his foibles more and not react to them so badly. This had also meant that I'm more at ease when talking to other people as I know I can contextualise his behaviour and be OK with it and thus not come across as uncomfortable myself because of his presence. Also he's loosened up a bit – though not much – and is happy with me taking the lead on most things.

So anyway as we'd flown all the way out to south east Asia we thought we might as well do a bit of travelling and make it a full holiday and to cut a long story short we ended up in the tropical paradise of the Perhentian Islands off the north east coast of peninsular Malaysia.

We moved into our cabin in the hills overlooking the beach and a while later the girl in the hut next door was sitting on the balcony. I made sure to say Hi – after all this is travelling and everyone's out to meet new people, most of the time. We were in the middle of doing something so didn't have time to stop and talk but I made sure I'd registered with her as a sociable person.

The next time we met her I asked her the standard questions – her name, where she was from (Vienna), how long she had been travelling for etc. – and got to know her a bit. Basic stuff, just shooting the breeze. As she was on her own I invited her to join us for dinner as any opportunity to have someone else to talk to is a good thing (even though me and my friend were getting on fine).

The important thing to mention here is that when I have a conversation with a new person, my focus is to have fun and make it exciting for both of us. That doesn't necessarily mean that it will be a riotous laugh or appear anything more than general chit chat, but the attitude is there and people pick up on it.

So we went to find a restaurant, we didn't know where we were going, there was one place we hadn't tried out yet which was down a path back from the beach. My friend in hilariously negative fashion said, half way down the path, “there probably isn't anything there, it doesn't look good, let's go back.” Basically he was giving up without even trying, one of the many qualities that makes him the AFC that he is.

Anyway I essentially ignored him (I'd learnt not to react either internally or externally to his more negative comments) and kept going. Sure enough we found a great restaurant with good food and good value too. We found a table and had our meal. The conversation was fine but the energy was a bit low as we were tired from the day's activities. After the meal we went to a bar and sat on the sand and drank in the light of candles and the nearly full moon that made everything pale silver and indigo. I was struck by indigestion so found it hard to keep the conversation going, my AFC friend really didn't make that much of an effort (amusingly afterwards he said “that girl was a bit quiet, wasn't she?” not realising his responsibility in this regard) and she did what she could but as we all know, it's not her responsibility to take the lead. We called it a night, not before she gave me some schnapps for my indigestion, which surprisingly worked. I was thinking of asking her to rub aftersun into my sunburn but the moment wasn't right.

Incidentally this girl was fat but not in an obese way – voluptuous is the cliché but it's true. There were no rolls of fat thankfully, and she had a pretty face which is important for me.

The next day the script basically repeated itself with me inviting her out and us going to a bar afterwards, except this time there was more talking, more fun and less indigestion. If we were going to be old school we could say I was dropping loads of DHVs by talking about various events that had happened on previous times I had been travelling, but we were just having a conversation, having fun. I did shamelessly mention the time I rescued a trapped puppy on a beach in Goa – I mean, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. But anyway. We also watched two kittens comically stalk and attack each other while bats flew overhead and the moon inched its way even closer to being full.

We all had to get up early the next day so we called it a night at a sensible hour.

The next day my friend and I went snorkelling and I made friends with a hot Swiss chick, and we made arrangements to meet up in the same restaurant as before for dinner. So me and my friend, the Swiss girl and the Viennese neighbour all met up at the restaurant. The girl next door also bought along a friend of hers that she had met, a hot Australian girl with an English accent from travelling for two years. And then another female friend turned up. So there were us two guys on a table with four girls, two hot, one OK and one not so hot. Either way, I felt like a pimp.

I unconsciously made sure to make friends with everybody, just doing general chit chat. Halfway through the meal a massive thunderstorm erupted over the island and as the rain fell on the tin roof of the restaurant it made so much noise that we couldn't hear each other. Luckily there was a film showing on a projector with subtitles, so that occupied us for a while. It was Management with Jennifer Anniston, unsurprisingly it was a romcom. It was enjoyable enough though and at the end all the girls were loving it. My mate totally added to the mood by saying “Well that was shit.” His life really is full of fun.

Needless to say we all ignored him and carried on talking about something else. I can't remember much about what we talked about to be honest, but we kept it light and cracked jokes as and when we could. He Viennese girl every now and then touched me under the table with her foot. It was on. I just had not to fuck it up. I didn't return her touch incidentally, it somehow felt wrong.

There was more inadvertent DHVing when it became clear to both the Swiss and Austrian girls that I could speak both German and French, even though the only French I said was a de rien to a preceding merci. My French isn't as good as my German, but it was enough for the Swiss girl to mention how unusual it was for an English person to speak both French and German. Most can't speak either.

I don't know how but for some reason we got to talking about dance moves and so I ran through my repertoire of comedy dance moves – the infamous big fish, little fish, cardboard box which surprisingly they didn't know about. Then there were a couple of other ones that I use – stacking the shelves and feeding the chickens. One of the girls told me one move I didn't know – dealing the cards. I'm nicking that. We all had a good laugh and a good time.

Once the rain had eased off and we had worked our way through a small bottle of vodka we made our way to the next bar back down the path to the beach. It was playing pumping dance music and rap songs and it wasn't long before I persuaded the Viennese girl to dance. Having been snorkelling for most of the day I was nice and loose and the moves were coming very easily. We started off things with some hardcore grinding. We were having fun and we basically got the whole party started in there, soon the dancefloor was full and everyone was joining in though naturally I was the star of the dancefloor, even if I do say so myself. My friend even joined us, even though he doesn't like dancing. He was caught up in the mood and enjoying himself. He saw through his own limitations and realised it was more important to enjoy himself than be self-conscious about whether he could dance or not. A random Swedish guy made friends with us.

Anyway the Swiss girl went to bed just after we reached the dancefloor, and my friend did the same about half an hour later. After he left I got us a couple more drinks and then in a minute she jumped me and we tore into each other. Five minutes of that and she suggested we go swimming. I said yes but had no intention, simply because I had my camera in my pocket and it was still raining, chances are it would get wrecked if I left my shorts on the beach. On the beach I convinced her to go back to the huts.

We returned to the huts, went inside, ripped our clothes off and got to it. Once again my little chap, only too excited early in the evening, when it came to the bed wasn't interested. A bit of oral from the girl helped but waiting for the condom ruined that. Eventually we had to calm down and leave it. We had a quick shower and laid down to sleep. She said I could go home if I wanted. I declined – most nights I wake up with a raging boner anyway so I thought I could use that to my advantage.

After a while of lying there we started touching again and I got to work on her with my mouth. The relaxation that we had must have helped both of us. She came just from nipple stimulation, which was a first for me. By the time I worked down to her pussy she was bucking and moaning like a trooper. I was hard again but once again in the wait for the condom it lost interest. However this time was different, with a bit of dirty talk the interest was back and minutes later we were fucking like rabbits.

Spent, we both lay to go to sleep again. Unsurprisingly a short while later she wanted to go again and this time there was no losing interest in the wait for the condom. A good, hard fucking later, we finally went to sleep.

The important lesson here was learning how to deal with the problems in the bedroom. As she said afterwards, “I'm glad you didn't give up”

Don't give up. Very true.

A couple of other things to note:

While in bed she said to me: “I like the way you move,” quoting the cheesy techno song that was playing in the bar. I got the moves.

Also, it was her last night in the Perhentian Islands, so she was looking to get laid before she left.

Another important thing that I've mentioned before is that I took my chances. Last year in Goa I had three different girls showing interest in me, and I didn't fuck any of them, I just let it pass me by. I didn't make that mistake this time.

Got the Austrian flag.