Beliefs, affirmations, social knowledge
OK something fun happened yesterday and to me it demonstrates a few interesting points.
Singapore
So I’ve been on holiday in South East Asia, I flew back yesterday, my plane landed at about 7.30 pm and I was home by 9.00.
Saturday night
I was hoping that there would be some people at home as I’d made no plans for the night and didn’t want to call people up and make arrangements, I just wanted to hang out with my friends. Luckily my two best friends were at home (or rather, next door): German chefs 1 and 2.
Two naturals, the german chefs
Both these guys are good with women and know nothing about “game”. German chef 1 is good looking and has a great personality though doesn’t really open much. He was recently jumped on in a bar by a hot Turkish girl who started kissing him … in front of her boyfriend. Probably just a jealousy ploy but the point is he gets attention. German chef 2 isn’t good looking but dresses well, and his game centres around being totally arrogant, cocky, taking the piss out of the girl and being very direct and sexual from the start. He gets a lot of women, mainly from social circle and rarely from bar pick up.
We meet up, have some cans and a spliff and start to have a party at the house. But we need to go out so we hop on the bus to Fulham to try to get into the Slut and Legless (The Slug and Lettuce). Needless to say by the time we get to the bus stop we’re pretty wasted.
Eye contact in street
As we’re walking down the street I lock eyes with a girl and she keeps it until we pass. She wants me.
Every girl wants me
Every girl wants me. It’s funny, on my trip round SE Asia I was travelling with my AFC mate and I would often point out girls and say “she fancies me” or something similar. Of course my AFC mate thought I was an idiot because it’s so far out of his (negative) reality. I take that as a compliment. It’s what I believe. I’ve no idea if it’s true, but the idea is that if you think it is, it either will be or you’ll find out a way to make it so. Any sign you get that she’s interested means it’s on, and anything can be a sign. You could says it’s “having the frame” or something, I just know it works.
Affirmations
This comes from affirmations. I’ve tried using affirmations in the past and I found they didn’t work. That’s mainly because (a) I had too many of them, so my mind couldn’t focus, and (b) they were too extreme, too outside my reality for me to take myself seriously, and therefore they didn’t get through to the subconscious.
So last year I started with one simple affirmation, that I was good looking. I kept on repeating this to myself, not religiously but every time I remembered. Slowly I started to dress better (or believe that I dressed better), I went to the gym and got in better shape, I noticed when girls were looking at me or when someone paid me a compliment. I found the affirmation worked.
So having solved that I started with a new affirmation – girls like me. I’m good with girls. “Every girl wants me” is a bit too strong actually and too unbelievable though I’ll say it from time to time, and sometimes as a joke, but “girls like me” or “I’m good talking to girls” really seems to work for me.
I have girls in my social circle and I found myself getting on with them even better. Twice this year I went on weekends away with two girl friends. I got to know how they worked even better, got more experience of their typical behaviours.
Eye contact in bar
So back to the story. As we walked into the bar (not the S&L, that was closing) I locked eyes with another girl. I didn’t do anything about it straight away as we were sorting out drinks and I needed the loo. Anyway when we came back I observed the girl from afar. She was on her own. In a bar (fairly quiet actually) late on a Saturday night. She’d already locked eyes with me. When German Chef 1 went to the bar to get the next round I motioned for him to chat her up. I think he may have said a few words though I can’t remember. What is important is that she definitely knew he was there. Like I said he’s good looking and so to grab his attention, she leant with her back against the bar, elbows on the bar, basically showing off her tits. But German Chef 1 not having much game didn’t do anything about it.
Body language
The girl wanted cock. It was easy to see. I told my friends and we all joked about it in a guy kinda way, oh yeah, she wants is bad. But although we were joking I knew it was true. Like I said, already locked eyes with me, flirted with my mate, and she was on her own in a bar
Dare to open
Given that I told my mates, being the cheeky chappies that they are they then placed a bet. Five pound to go up to her and say “I wanna be on you” a la Ron Burgundy, the greatest of all PUA gurus. The other guy bet ten pounds. “You’re on” I said and went up to the bar to do it.
Body positioning
As I approached she had her back to me, facing the bar. I knew she knew we were looking at her so I knew she was aware of me. As I approached the bar I made sure to slow right down almost so she would catch sight of me or sense me before I got there. Sounds a bit “woo-woo” but it’s an instinctive thing and hard to put into words.
I didn’t have the guts to open straight away and I ordered the round. I thought about the line and tried to think of a way to make it work when I burst out laughing at the actual thought of doing it. I turned round to my friends who were watching me and we all laughed. It was silly, fun.
Anyway I opened her instead with my killer line: “Hello” said with a sense of obviousness (as we both know why we’re talking to each other) and a cheeky smile (ditto, it’s going to be fun). We said a couple of lines and then she says “Did your mates put you up to this?” In retrospect this could be seen as a shit test but it was obvious to her what was going on, as indeed it was to me.
“There was a bet, yes” I replied. This got her in on the fun. I also go for honesty every time. No point in lying. Unless… (see below…)
“What was the bet?” she asked.
In a split second, my evil mind thought of the perfect answer. I go for lying every time.
“To kiss” I replied.
Kiss
And with that, she jumped me and, in the words of one of my mates who were still watching, we were “kissing like porn stars.” She even hooked her leg up on the side.
We did that for a bit and then stopped. I looked at my mates and their jaws were on the floor. I’ll be here, sitting in the corner, stroking my ego. Thanks.
Talking
Then I turned my attention back to the girl. I asked her about herself. She was from Sweden. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, she had an awesome body, looong legs, average face. Definitely doable. But she had an Australian accent from either living with Australians or in Australia, I can’t remember exactly. Which explains her obvious (to me) open sexual behaviour. There are few countries where the women are more comfortable with being openly sexual than Sweden and Australia. And when you put those both together, then… wow.
Anyway I asked her if she knew Anchorman, she did and she loved it (always a good sign). I quoted the line and won the bet.
Number close fail
So we had chatted for a bit but I was tired from the trip – I’d been up for close to 24 hours by now. She asked me for a drink which I bought her – after all I was now £15 up so it wasn’t a problem. Some people might call supplication but I wasn’t worried about that. Like I said she wanted cock and she was ready to be pulled then and there. But as I was tired I didn’t want to deal with that – which was a mistake but you make your own decisions. I tried for the number close. “what is the best way to keep in contact with you?” I asked her.
“You don’t,” she replied.
There are many great responses to that which I could have said to keep things going. “It’ll just have to be tonight then,” would be great, “stalking it is then,” would make me laugh at least, ignoring the response and keeping on flirting would have done just fine. The line a said at the time was “Well, a man’s gotta try.” Shortly after that I returned to the table. But it wasn’t over yet.
Return to mates, Other guy tries
So I rejoin my mates and we all have a good laugh and they high five me. While we’re chatting I see another guy goes up to her and chats to her. I can’t see their faces so I can’t see how it’s going, not that I’m bothered. But it can’t have been going well as after a few minutes she looks over to me and I signal for her to come and join our table.
Joins our table
She does so and says that she had to get away from the other guy by saying she was going to come and “join her friends” i.e. us. That other guy must have no game. Still, I hope it was a valuable lesson for him.
Wing fail
So when she joined us there was only me and German Chef 2. Like I said before his game is total arrogance and when she turned up she was all touchy feely on his tattoos, he on the other hand just acted like she was the most irritating thing in the world ever.
The trouble for me is that I haven’t yet worked out how to deal with this kind of situation. Girl is up for it with either of us, we’re maintaining some kind of social relationship, my mate’s attitude is total arrogance, I’m more normal conversation and having fun. The two don’t mix naturally. In retrospect I think I just don’t need to worry about it, be totally OK with everything, and keep teasing and having fun with the girl. Total arrogance does have a habit of really changing the energy of the interaction which is something I need to work with.
Anyway all that is an explanation of why I was thrown. I can’t remember how it ended exactly, but we all went home shortly after. I hope that girl found the guy she was looking for to give her the good hard fucking she wanted. I was using tiredness and social context as an excuse but it was an interesting lesson all the same.
Lessons
Beliefs: girls like me
Affirmations work if used properly
Eye contact is goodI can read body language well
Honest works every time, except when lying works better…
Social knowledge: a girl alone in a bar late on a Saturday evening wants cock, wants it now and wants it hard and fast.
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