Saturday, 15 August 2009

Step up, the sky is open-armed

Last Friday

So last Friday I meet up with Liam and Peter and we go to Cargo. I’m feeling a bit shitty for various reasons so I’m not in a good mood. Right from the start there’s a group of 2-3 girls who are all pretty hot and one is totally my type. But it’s the first set of the night, I haven’t really warmed up and I hesitate on opening.

To cut a long story short I never open them, they walk off and don’t really open anyone for ages. My state is still pretty bad. But I get an urge, a desperation that I try to turn into motivation. I end up opening about five different sets but none of them stick. Even the ones that I’ve caught checking me out before hand. I guess my body language (and indeed my frame) is off kilter so nothing happens.

A crappy night. The lesson? Open early, open often. Gain social momentum. Lesson learned.

This Friday

So I was feeling a bit tired but I got off work early and had a rest. Although I didn’t sleep it was better than nothing and I had the chance to make some good food and have a shower so I felt good. My hot French flatmate (easily a 9.5 – think Carla Bruni or French newsreaders) told me I looked hot, which is good for my ego!

Meet up with Liam, Peter and Jon who is back from holiday with a bit of a tan and looking even better than normal. We go to Big Chill. Right after we walk in we see group of three girls, one of whom is particularly hot and is looking to get opened. I think about it for a bit trying to build up the initiative when I notice her checking Jon out. It’s a massive signal so I tell him to open, but he doesn’t. Instead Liam opens and later Jon joins in. I’m on the far side of the group so it’s hard for me to join. But it doesn’t matter because…

Behind me there was a girl and a guy. I didn’t know what their situation was but when the guy was at the bar I open the girl with a simple “Hello, how are you doing?”

She’s very receptive to the opener and we continue talking. We talk about fairly normal stuff and in the process I find out that the guy is her work colleague, and later on that he’s actually gay. Right from the start she’s asking me questions like where I live, so that’s a good sign. From time to time the other guys jump in and out of set. At one point Peter asks if I’ve been working out and I tell him that I have (as it’s true), and he says that he can notice it. Not sure if this is a help or not with the set but at least I know my effort is making a difference!

At no point am I really consciously gaming, I’m just having a chat with both the girl and the guy. But everyone’s having a good time so it’s all gravy. At one point she goes to the bar and while there gets chatted up by some guy next to her. Me and the guy joke about it and eventually, as the guy is waiting for his drink he goes and pulls her back. Good work my son!

We talk about a bunch of stuff and we have things in common like both having Indian and Irish heritage, and things we don’t have in common like drugs. We both work out that we’re both single which is obvious but good to have clarified.

We continue to shoot the shit and it’s only now that I do a few things consciously. These days I tend to touch everyone I’m talking to anyway but I notice that I haven’t done much of that today, so I start brushing against her a bit and other things. I haven’t really turned the conversation sexual yet either. At one break in the conversation I ask her if she likes to dance and she says that she does, and she likes Fabric. Well looky here, so do I, so that’s a good enough reason to meet up again, no? So we make vague plans for that. Learning my lesson from a few weeks ago I ask her “What’s the best way to get in contact with you?” She responds with “Is that your way of asking for a number?” which some people may take as a shit test, but I just reply honestly, “That’s one of them, yes.” So we exchange numbers.

In fact there were a number of times that there were things that could have been interpreted as shit tests, but unless someone’s actually being a bit bitchy or stand offish, they’re not really tests in my book. Mostly there’s a straightforward honest answer to most of them.

So I already know that she has to leave early and we’ve already exchanged numbers so that’s cool. Then not really thinking about sexual tension but more just to make things a bit more fun I whisper into her ear “You’re naughty!” I don’t know why, there wasn’t any real reason for me to say it but I it felt right.

This gets her excited and she starts asking me some more serious shit-testing questions: “Why do you think I’m naughty? What are you trying to say?” etc. The trick here is not to answer directly, either give an opaque answer or don’t answer at all. Things like “maybe” and “I’ll tell you later” work well.

This gets her even more wound up and she’s looking me direct in the eye. This is when I start consciously using triangular gazing for the first time, looking direct in her eyes and switching between them and her lips. This goes on for a minute or two before suddenly she jumps on me and it’s tongue down time! We have a good go at it and she’s into it in a big way. The gay guy takes a swig of my drink while we’re at it, which is pretty funny! Luckily he didn’t cock block in any way, but then he was a pretty cool guy.

Eventually we break off and it’s time for her to leave, so with a peck and squeeze of her hand, she and her friend leave.

After that I meet up with the guys again and shoot the shit. I start talking to a German girl who lived in Brazil for a year and she tells me how great it is. I’m going there in the new year so that sounds good. I can’t game her though as there are two hyper Brazilian guys nearby who are getting all the attention. I end up talking to one of them who is pretty cool and tells me about Brazil as well. He tells me that in the nightclubs there you can fuck five or six girls in a night! I’m not sure if he’s right but I’ve heard similar things, particularly at carnival when you can get off with tens of girls in one day. So I’m sure something like that is possible.

Peter seems to have disappeared with some girl that he was talking to and Jon and Liam head off to another club with some girls that Jon has found, while I catch the last tube and head home for a well deserved sleep.

The main thing about this night is that the close was pretty much all normal conversation, no game, no high energy tactics, no conscious manipulation, no insecurity on my part. It just happened, it was just normal, it felt great. Jon said afterwards that she was DTF, it didn’t seem that way at the start to me, but then who knows? It doesn’t really matter at the end of the day, the results are the same. As I’ve said before, you’ve got to take your chances.

So it’s worth mentioning at this point that this is my first in-bar kiss close for a long time, and indeed if I look back at the last couple of months I’ve had three kiss closes (though one of them was a dare) and one social group lay, which is probably my best results in game ever. I’ve been saying for a while that I can feel it all coming together and starting to happen and it now seems that the results are starting to bear that out. Onwards and upwards!

“Step up, step up, step up
The sky is open-armed
And the light is mine
I feel gravity
Pull onto my eyelids (onto my eyes)
And holding my head straight (looking down)
This is the easiest task I’ve ever had to do”

- Feeling Gravitys Pull
R.E.M. Fables of the Reconstruction

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