Saturday, 21 February 2009

Opening the Rift

So I’d read Mode One, the definitive book about going direct, or, to be more precise, being honest with your intentions with women. It helped reinforce a number of things about going direct, mainly that it takes balls, that in itself is attractive to women, you’ll get rejected more but you shouldn’t let that stop you or affect you, and it build attraction much more quickly. Great stuff.

So I was thinking about using it, but there was a bit of a catch. You have to be honest. So you have to find women that you find attractive. Also, your inner game has to be 100%* and your calibration has to be good.

(*Even if it’s not, you’ll have to break through your own confidence level to attain that 100%, you can only grow by doing. It’s Catch 22.)

Anyway so I met Liam and Jon at Porterhouse for a bit of midweek game. There was nothing going on there so we went straight to Jewel, and there wasn’t much there either. So we go to Roadhouse.

There were a fair few people there, but as it was still relatively early in the evening there wasn’t much mingling and people were seated or in their own groups. But that wasn’t the real problem for me. The real problem was that they were showing the Brits on every screen in the place, and on a special giant projector screen as well.

Now for most people I guess this wouldn’t be of much relevance, but I love awards ceremonies and I love the Brits. It’s about music after all and that’s totally my bag. I simply couldn’t concentrate on game and I immediately regretted coming out in the first place – I’d’ve much rather been at home watching it on TV. And the Pet Shop Boys were going to receive the Lifetime Achievement award. It was clear the evening was a write off.

But we hung around a bit and Liam and Jon opened a set each. I winged Liam for a bit so at least I talked to someone. But apart from that I wasn’t adding much really as I was more interested in watching Kings of Leon, and the Ting Tings doing a good mash up with Estelle. Décor update: the new toilets are like a spaceship, which is great. We decide to leave.

We go to Tiger Tiger. It seems strange that in the whole of London there’s hardly a bar that has anything going for it mid-week. Where are these places? Anyway we arrive in TT. Immediately there are two pairs of girls that are checking us out. Only problem is, they’re not that hot.

And this is where the rift between the ideal of Mode One and the reality of how hot girls are in real life starts to separate. I’ve known for a while that my standards are probably too high for my own good, and that it results in me not opening enough. Mode One has only reinforced that situation. Not opening means not talking and not talking means not practicing, and not practicing means that I wouldn’t have approached a hot girl even if she had been there.

So for all Mode One’s good points, in terms of application for me I need to apply it only in certain situations. And when those situations aren’t present – i.e. when there are only average girls around – I need to open with “standard” game, or small talk, to get the social juices working. Well I guess I learnt something at least.

We have a chat and talk about game and I encourage Liam and Job just to focus on one thing. From my experience since the start of the year it’s helped my game a lot and I’d like them to experience the same thing. I give them tasks to do to work on this, and they give me a task too.

I then have to split as I need to go to bed. In retrospect we should have opened the two pairs of average girls, and there was a table of four girls by the front door that we could have opened as well. We could have brought the party something rotten, and had an awesome night of flirting, but Mode One was holding me back. Next time.

1 comment:

AntFarm16 said...

Long winded thought from my own experience--

Finally, after working at this for months, I'm realizing the value of opening people in general. It gets you to be confident even when you're not "in state", as it were. For me, attractiveness doesn't affect the difficulty--either I can or I can't--depending on the day or the minute. Practicing, desensitizing, learning from successes and failures--this comes from talking to people a lot. If you're not "over the hump" yet--then talking to 2 people on a Monday and maybe 4 sets at a bar on Saturday night may not propel you enough---but talking to a bunch of people in a row on Monday, then a bunch on TUesday, then a night out sargin'--that will get you through. This is where I've really started to get this week or so.

And then you can limit yourself to the best women out there--without getting knocked back by the spacing in between.

My $0.02....