OK this is the LR that I posted on the LSS, contains some info that you might know about already but here it is in its entirety for your enjoyment...
OK this lay report is going to require a bit of background info which might not seem relevant at first, but it will all fall into place so bear with it. It’s also long but I like the details.
First background fact: I used to be a cocaine addict. At the height of my addiction I had chronic insomnia which properly fucked up my life. I kicked it quite easily in the end, but never took more than a dab of spangle dust after that. When one of my flatmates recently moved in, we bonded over a few beers which then became a shared gram of coke. I thought I’d give it a try as the evening was going so well. It was all fine until the next night – I couldn’t sleep at all. In fact I was so bored from not being able to sleep that I decided to do something mildly productive, so I learnt the state capitals of all the US states. I still remember them to this day. (After that night my sleep was fine again.)
Second background fact: I’ve been working out since the start of the year and building muscle so that I look pretty ripped now with my shirt off. People around me have noticed the difference, and I’ve noticed that I get a lot more attention from women than I ever used to (which is also partly due to me realising when chicks are giving me IOIs, whereas previously I’d be unaware of them). I always used to be a skinny runt, and now people think I’m a rugby player or something. Frankly, I love it. (If anyone wants some advice on this give me a shout.)
Anyway fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. It’s sunny, I’m out in the garden with some of my flatmates, shirt off obviously to catch some rays. We’re friends with our next door neighbours who are a houseshare like us, and some of them were out in the garden too. One of my neighbours is an Aussie guy who has an American girlfriend (Yank 1). One of her girl friends was over – Yank 2. I have a rep in both houses of being a pretty intelligent guy and knowing lots of random stuff (which is true dare I say it) and in particular Yank 1 knows that I know all the state capitals. So Yank 1 gets Yank 2 to test me on the state capitals.
Funnily enough she gets them all wrong. “What’s the capital of California ?” “ Sacramento ” “No it’s not, it’s Los Angeles .” “No, it’s Sacramento .” “Oh yeah, so it is. What’s the capital of Louisiana ?” “ Baton Rouge ” “No it’s not, it’s New Orleans .” “No, it’s Baton Rouge .” “Oh yeah, so it is. What’s the capital of Washington state?” “ Olympia ” “No it’s not, it’s Seattle .” “No, it’s Olympia .” “Oh yeah, so it is.”
Anyway, you get the idea.
So we joke and I tease her about being a dumb American and all that. Later on we’ve all been out doing different things and as is customary for our two houses we come back and hang out in one of the houses. We sit in my mate’s room (German chef) and smoke weed, I think we were playing guitar hero. If you look at it in that way I’m obviously massively socially proofed as I’m around all my mates both male and female. It probably helps that Yank 1 and I have a lot of flirty banter (though I have no desire to go there as it’s my mate, it’s just fun and practice). Later on in the night Yank 1 starts giving people massages. She gives one to Yank 2 but she’s all uptight and it’s not working.
From looking at her and I guess my knowledge of physiology from working out and also by comparing her to German chef who has one of the most relaxed postures of anyone I know, I can see where she’s tense. I give her a few suggestions and guide her so that the tension dissipates and the massage starts working. After this she’s clearly into me and I reckon I could go there if I want to. But I don’t bother that night for some reason I can’t remember, probably was too tired or something.
Incidentally this girl wasn’t particularly my type. She had a fairly pretty face and great tits, but she was a bit voluptuous. I normally go for normal size girls, like size 10s, not too skinny. But she was bigger than I usually go for. Big bottoms, big bottom, talk about mud flaps my girls got ‘em. Big bottoms drive me out of my mind. How can I leave this behind?
However one of my sticking points with game is that I don’t captialise on the chances that come my way. For example another of my neighbours is a hot oriental Aussie girl who fucks anything with a spine. She’s fucked both of my male flatmates and German chef but not me – only because I didn’t take advantage of the chances when they were offered. I notice that I make up some excuse not to, and then regret it later. So I need to take my chances more often.
Anyway fast forward to last night. I was out in town with my wings and we hit up a few sets. Halfway through the night I get a call from Aussie guy – turns out Yank 2 wants to speak to me. He hands over the phone and Yank 2 tells me that she’s leaving to go back to Yankland tomorrow and “wants to see me” before she leaves. If that’s not a massive booty call then I don’t know what is.
Funnily enough after that I don’t open any sets for the rest of the night. I think subconsciously I knew I was going to get laid so I didn’t try. I only realised this afterwards. Anyway I get back home and meet up with Aussie guy, Yank 1, Yank 2 and German chef joins a bit later. When I first meet her Yank 2 comes up and kisses me on the cheek and gives me a big hug. I make sure I hold her comfortably and firmly to set the right tone.
We then go and sit, chat and drink a beer for a bit. I think German chef was marginally annoyed as he was hoping for some action from Yank 2 – I’d heard Yank 1 saying something to that effect. But hopefully it’s all cool as basically she wanted me and all I really had to do was walk her to my room. German chef is probably my best friend in the world right now so I felt a bit bad for him. Incidentally he was also picked up by a modelling agency, which I guess says something.
So yeah I’m sitting next to Yank 2, arm around her stroking her and teasing her. At one point she says “I kept thinking about you lying next to me and telling me lots of facts.” which sounds pretty surreal. But it was a good opportunity to make one of my favourite jokes: “Yeah I’ll tell you facts all night. Fact after fact after fact. There’s no end of facts that I can tell you. I’ll tell you more facts than you can possibly take. I’ll tell you facts until your mind explodes. I’ll fact you ‘til it hurts.” Do you see what I did there?
At one point Yank 1 and Yank 2 go off and do the girl talk thing, even though it’s so on it’s untrue. A bit later it’s starting to get a bit cold outside so I finish my beer and say “Do you wanna come back to mine?” To be honest I could have just stood up and walked off without saying anything but as the answer wasn’t ever going to be No I thought I’d be polite. Walk out the house and kiss her passionately in the street. Walk next door and up to my room and it’s game over. Two very powerful orgasms later she’s asleep with exhaustion. At 5.30 she wakes up to catch her flight back to America .
I got my American flag. I fucked her on Independence Day. :D
I guess you could call this social circle game. Also you could call it peacocking my mind with facts and my body with my physique. Or DHVing. Or simply not fucking it up. But the main thing was that I took my chance when it was offered to me.
Monday, 6 July 2009
Thursday, 18 June 2009
Dual Jewel
Well work has calmed down a bit recently and I managed to leave at a reasonable hour on Friday, went home and ate with time to spare. I headed off and meet up with Peter and Jon at Jewel in Covent Garden.
It’s sunny and warm and the after work crowd is drinking outside. As a result there isn’t much going on in the bar and the crowd outside doesn’t really seem to offer much for us either.
We wonder round a bit looking for something to open in Covent Garden, but it’s not quite hitting the spot. We eventually head for the other Jewel in Piccadilly.
To be honest I can’t remember all the sets that I opened. I think early on there was an obvious group of three girls standing in the main area but they weren’t my type. Liam opens them instead and gets into a good conversation with them.
While Peter is at the bar there’s a group of three girls looking at the cocktails menu. I read an opener on Sasha’s blog only recently – based on making a joke that half the drinks are poisonous so choose carefully. So I used that and it seemed to work well. They asked for a recommendation so I suggested Mohito. It’s the only way to go really.
The girl I’m speaking to starts to gain rapport with me, asking me where I’m from and those sorts of questions. All of these girls are from Eastern Europe, albeit all from different countries. I talk for a bit but the one I’m talking to isn’t that great so I let it go. I could have stuck in a bit and spoken to the others.
A bit later we’re standing in the white part of the bar and there is a table of about four or five hot looking chicks. But they’re the type that look hot but dumb. I realise this is a quandary for me – some chicks look hot from the outside, but are a bore to speak to. Or are too chavvy or so on. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
It’s bad because I’m not speaking to them to find out if my assumptions are correct. Plus there are a lot of people like that out there, so maybe I should get used to it. Though the more arty, cool, fun loving chicks you get in Brick Lane are more my type. It’s good in a way because I know what I like. But I think that in the end I should have spoken to them as at the end of the day it’s practice and I’ll need all sorts of practice to get good.
Something else that I noticed that night is that there were loads of guys trying it on with all the girls in the place. I’d literally open someone, eject, and then five minutes later some other guy would be talking to them. Though retrospectively obvious this was a bit of a revelation to me as it made it clear how used women are to guys opening them, and how very few of them were rejected – most guys ejected themselves, just like me. It also goes to show how girls can have a cheap night out as I’d guess at least half of them would offer to buy them drinks. And it shows that they’re out to meet guys, it’s just that we have to make the effort.
At one point it’s me and Pete and there are a couple of girls standing nearby who look quite hot. Pete suggests I open them so I give it a go with Pirates versus Ninjas. It doesn’t work too well as they’re Lithuanian and they mishear the opener a bit. I do some explanation and some chatting about Lithuania (my last but one girlfriend was Lithuanian) but the set isn’t sticking much. I eject a little worse for wear.
Later on and I see a table of girls drinking some crazy blue drink. Just from the pure curiosity of wanting to know what it is I go and ask them about it. Turns out they rope me into taking a picture of them – though it’s on an iPhone and there’s no flash so it doesn’t work. But I chat with them a bit and talk to a South African girl, but none of them are particularly attractive so I leave them to it.
Pete’s in set and Liam’s sitting with one of the girls from the first set so I sit on my own waiting for an opportunity. Liam sees me on my own and calls me over to join him. I meet his girl and have a brief chat with them, but more importantly there’s a lone wolf on my left and now I’m sitting next to her it would be rude not to speak to her.
So I ask her what she’s up to and it turns out she’s waiting for a friend who’ll arrive in about half an hour. I have a random chat with her, using Pirates versus Ninjas when the conversation lulls. But ultimately her friend calls and she disappears.
So lots of sets opened but not many targets that I was interested in. I think I should open more sets that I’m not interested in or have negative thoughts towards, and also to plough a bit more and ask for numbers more often. And work on the teasing and joking and all that. I’m still feeling really positive about it all.
It’s sunny and warm and the after work crowd is drinking outside. As a result there isn’t much going on in the bar and the crowd outside doesn’t really seem to offer much for us either.
We wonder round a bit looking for something to open in Covent Garden, but it’s not quite hitting the spot. We eventually head for the other Jewel in Piccadilly.
To be honest I can’t remember all the sets that I opened. I think early on there was an obvious group of three girls standing in the main area but they weren’t my type. Liam opens them instead and gets into a good conversation with them.
While Peter is at the bar there’s a group of three girls looking at the cocktails menu. I read an opener on Sasha’s blog only recently – based on making a joke that half the drinks are poisonous so choose carefully. So I used that and it seemed to work well. They asked for a recommendation so I suggested Mohito. It’s the only way to go really.
The girl I’m speaking to starts to gain rapport with me, asking me where I’m from and those sorts of questions. All of these girls are from Eastern Europe, albeit all from different countries. I talk for a bit but the one I’m talking to isn’t that great so I let it go. I could have stuck in a bit and spoken to the others.
A bit later we’re standing in the white part of the bar and there is a table of about four or five hot looking chicks. But they’re the type that look hot but dumb. I realise this is a quandary for me – some chicks look hot from the outside, but are a bore to speak to. Or are too chavvy or so on. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
It’s bad because I’m not speaking to them to find out if my assumptions are correct. Plus there are a lot of people like that out there, so maybe I should get used to it. Though the more arty, cool, fun loving chicks you get in Brick Lane are more my type. It’s good in a way because I know what I like. But I think that in the end I should have spoken to them as at the end of the day it’s practice and I’ll need all sorts of practice to get good.
Something else that I noticed that night is that there were loads of guys trying it on with all the girls in the place. I’d literally open someone, eject, and then five minutes later some other guy would be talking to them. Though retrospectively obvious this was a bit of a revelation to me as it made it clear how used women are to guys opening them, and how very few of them were rejected – most guys ejected themselves, just like me. It also goes to show how girls can have a cheap night out as I’d guess at least half of them would offer to buy them drinks. And it shows that they’re out to meet guys, it’s just that we have to make the effort.
At one point it’s me and Pete and there are a couple of girls standing nearby who look quite hot. Pete suggests I open them so I give it a go with Pirates versus Ninjas. It doesn’t work too well as they’re Lithuanian and they mishear the opener a bit. I do some explanation and some chatting about Lithuania (my last but one girlfriend was Lithuanian) but the set isn’t sticking much. I eject a little worse for wear.
Later on and I see a table of girls drinking some crazy blue drink. Just from the pure curiosity of wanting to know what it is I go and ask them about it. Turns out they rope me into taking a picture of them – though it’s on an iPhone and there’s no flash so it doesn’t work. But I chat with them a bit and talk to a South African girl, but none of them are particularly attractive so I leave them to it.
Pete’s in set and Liam’s sitting with one of the girls from the first set so I sit on my own waiting for an opportunity. Liam sees me on my own and calls me over to join him. I meet his girl and have a brief chat with them, but more importantly there’s a lone wolf on my left and now I’m sitting next to her it would be rude not to speak to her.
So I ask her what she’s up to and it turns out she’s waiting for a friend who’ll arrive in about half an hour. I have a random chat with her, using Pirates versus Ninjas when the conversation lulls. But ultimately her friend calls and she disappears.
So lots of sets opened but not many targets that I was interested in. I think I should open more sets that I’m not interested in or have negative thoughts towards, and also to plough a bit more and ask for numbers more often. And work on the teasing and joking and all that. I’m still feeling really positive about it all.
Friday, 29 May 2009
The Lark Ascending
Once again Friday was a write off so I stayed in for that. But I was well up for it on Saturday despite properly caning it in the gym. I was a bit tired but I could hold myself together so I didn’t have a problem with going out.
Once again I felt myself going through the same standard thought processes. Basically as I’m on my way from the car I get little twinges of negative emotion and thoughts; “What if I don’t know what to say?” “What if I don’t have enough energy?” and comparing myself to others and so on.
All of this stuff is of no use at all, and I’m getting better at sweeping it out of my mind. The first thing I remember to do is have fun. The second thing to remember is that if you are having negative thoughts, it is totally possible to get out of them. Being able to relax and be happy is something that can come with practice over time. The third is an affirmation: “I am good with girls.” It’s simple but it seems to work. I did the same with “I am good looking” as I used to think I wasn’t that great in the looks department. But now I know I’m pretty hot. Lol.
So I mentally sort myself out. I meet Jon and Liam in Bar Music Hall, but it’s really loud and the guys are sitting on chairs away from the action. I have a beer to warm myself up, but we decide to move on to Queen of Hoxton. It would have been easy to get into negative thought patterns here as well, but I was patient and knew I would be opening shortly.
At the next venue we have to pay £6 to get in and from the door it looks like there are lots of girls. When we get in it isn’t as busy as I’d hoped but there were still a fair few girls there. We get a drink and I position us by a group of five girls. I’m trying to think of an opener but nothing jumps out.
I’ve noticed recently that I have to believe in my opener to make it work. It can be any opener – situational, a joke, the perennial Pirates versus Ninjas – but I’ve got to feel it in some way. It’s hard to describe exactly what I mean but I know when it’s right and I know when it’s working.
Anyway I verbalise my problem by mentioning it to Liam: “I’m trying to think of an opener but can’t think of one that would work.” Well a problem shared is a problem halved. Talking about it and thinking about it gets my subconscious working and then it pops into my head – “You guys look like you’re celebrating something, what’s the occasion?”
Well they weren’t celebrating anything, they were just a group of friends drinking cocktails. That was OK, we just fluffed a bit and continued talking, moving the conversation on. The girl nearest to me and the one I was talking to was Irish from Dublin and very friendly, as are most Irish girls I find.
I had a bit of a chat with her, and she even brought Liam and Jon into set, though they didn’t stick. This looked a bit incongruous to her actually, as she was like, “Who are your friends?” “Where have the wondered off too?” (when they left the set). I guess the social calibration of someone like that is mainly based around sticking with your friends etc.
Anyway the one I was talking to wasn’t that hot, quite pretty but a little chubby. There was one Cheryl Cole lookalike in the group but I never engineered the situation so I was talking to her.
The one I was talking to was only in town for the weekend so I didn’t bother to get her number. I found the others again downstairs where not much was happening. There were two girls seated nearby who were just asking to be opened. They were blonde, slim, relatively average looking but not ugly. Once again it took me a short while to think of an opener, but I quickly came up with “What time does it get busy in here?” as the downstairs bar was a bit empty.
They didn’t know but we started talking about the bar and the music. I wasn’t feeling this one too much as they weren’t that hot, plus the seating situation logistics weren’t that favourable. I ejected after a few minutes.
Back upstairs again we were hanging out, and I went to the bar. While I was there I bumped into the Irish girl again and we started chatting. She actually bought my drink for me which was kind, even if it was only a coke. I didn’t think about it until later but this was clearly a big signal – it’s not every day that a girl buys you a drink. At the time I put it down to Irish hospitality.
Back with the guys Liam opened a couple of girls that were standing nearby. He was doing pretty well and they were interested in us but Liam didn’t seem to be reading the situation too well and wasn’t matching the energy. We all had a bit of a chat and I teased them a bit. Liam gave them a sort of inadvertent back turn and after a bit they went off to the bar. They tapped him on the shoulder to say bye but he just ignored them!
After that Liam and Jon wanted to leave. It was nearly midnight and my tiredness was catching up with me. We all made a break for it.
The rest of the weekend was spent sleeping and at home with various relatives including my first cousin once removed.
A good frame that I’m using at the moment which I found on RSD Foundations is to see it as “learning to talk to girls.” This is a skill after all and the best way to develop a skill is through practice and experience. Seeing every interaction as a chance to successfully bank in more experience is great for keeping me in a positive frame of mind and not putting pressure on myself. After all, if you talk to one hundred, two hundred girls, you will have no choice but to pick up what works and what doesn’t, get better at flirting and pick up in general. That’s definitely where I’m at right now.
I used just to stick to “normal” conversations about day-to-day stuff. Now I’m getting in more teasing, more flirting, more sexual suggestions and more kino. Still loads more to do but I’m getting there. Plus I’m beginning to see patterns as to how girls react, what to do next and so on. It’s slowly unravelling.
The biggest thing about this for me is that it does involve wholesale personality changes. But these changes are possible and they will come over time. It’s often the case that while I’m in set I’ll have a negative belief or not know what to say, or feel like I’m stuck at some point in the interaction. At these times I often feel like there is a wall preventing me from moving forward.
More recently I’ve become aware of this imaginary wall and can consciously break through it. After all it’s totally within my control (though sometimes unconscious) and a self-imposed limitation at the end of the day. It works like this:
Learning to talk to girls > gaining experience and skills > breaking through self-imposed limitations > wholesale personality change.
The big changes – in self-confidence, self-esteem, positive attitude – are slowly coming to me.
Once again I felt myself going through the same standard thought processes. Basically as I’m on my way from the car I get little twinges of negative emotion and thoughts; “What if I don’t know what to say?” “What if I don’t have enough energy?” and comparing myself to others and so on.
All of this stuff is of no use at all, and I’m getting better at sweeping it out of my mind. The first thing I remember to do is have fun. The second thing to remember is that if you are having negative thoughts, it is totally possible to get out of them. Being able to relax and be happy is something that can come with practice over time. The third is an affirmation: “I am good with girls.” It’s simple but it seems to work. I did the same with “I am good looking” as I used to think I wasn’t that great in the looks department. But now I know I’m pretty hot. Lol.
So I mentally sort myself out. I meet Jon and Liam in Bar Music Hall, but it’s really loud and the guys are sitting on chairs away from the action. I have a beer to warm myself up, but we decide to move on to Queen of Hoxton. It would have been easy to get into negative thought patterns here as well, but I was patient and knew I would be opening shortly.
At the next venue we have to pay £6 to get in and from the door it looks like there are lots of girls. When we get in it isn’t as busy as I’d hoped but there were still a fair few girls there. We get a drink and I position us by a group of five girls. I’m trying to think of an opener but nothing jumps out.
I’ve noticed recently that I have to believe in my opener to make it work. It can be any opener – situational, a joke, the perennial Pirates versus Ninjas – but I’ve got to feel it in some way. It’s hard to describe exactly what I mean but I know when it’s right and I know when it’s working.
Anyway I verbalise my problem by mentioning it to Liam: “I’m trying to think of an opener but can’t think of one that would work.” Well a problem shared is a problem halved. Talking about it and thinking about it gets my subconscious working and then it pops into my head – “You guys look like you’re celebrating something, what’s the occasion?”
Well they weren’t celebrating anything, they were just a group of friends drinking cocktails. That was OK, we just fluffed a bit and continued talking, moving the conversation on. The girl nearest to me and the one I was talking to was Irish from Dublin and very friendly, as are most Irish girls I find.
I had a bit of a chat with her, and she even brought Liam and Jon into set, though they didn’t stick. This looked a bit incongruous to her actually, as she was like, “Who are your friends?” “Where have the wondered off too?” (when they left the set). I guess the social calibration of someone like that is mainly based around sticking with your friends etc.
Anyway the one I was talking to wasn’t that hot, quite pretty but a little chubby. There was one Cheryl Cole lookalike in the group but I never engineered the situation so I was talking to her.
The one I was talking to was only in town for the weekend so I didn’t bother to get her number. I found the others again downstairs where not much was happening. There were two girls seated nearby who were just asking to be opened. They were blonde, slim, relatively average looking but not ugly. Once again it took me a short while to think of an opener, but I quickly came up with “What time does it get busy in here?” as the downstairs bar was a bit empty.
They didn’t know but we started talking about the bar and the music. I wasn’t feeling this one too much as they weren’t that hot, plus the seating situation logistics weren’t that favourable. I ejected after a few minutes.
Back upstairs again we were hanging out, and I went to the bar. While I was there I bumped into the Irish girl again and we started chatting. She actually bought my drink for me which was kind, even if it was only a coke. I didn’t think about it until later but this was clearly a big signal – it’s not every day that a girl buys you a drink. At the time I put it down to Irish hospitality.
Back with the guys Liam opened a couple of girls that were standing nearby. He was doing pretty well and they were interested in us but Liam didn’t seem to be reading the situation too well and wasn’t matching the energy. We all had a bit of a chat and I teased them a bit. Liam gave them a sort of inadvertent back turn and after a bit they went off to the bar. They tapped him on the shoulder to say bye but he just ignored them!
After that Liam and Jon wanted to leave. It was nearly midnight and my tiredness was catching up with me. We all made a break for it.
The rest of the weekend was spent sleeping and at home with various relatives including my first cousin once removed.
A good frame that I’m using at the moment which I found on RSD Foundations is to see it as “learning to talk to girls.” This is a skill after all and the best way to develop a skill is through practice and experience. Seeing every interaction as a chance to successfully bank in more experience is great for keeping me in a positive frame of mind and not putting pressure on myself. After all, if you talk to one hundred, two hundred girls, you will have no choice but to pick up what works and what doesn’t, get better at flirting and pick up in general. That’s definitely where I’m at right now.
I used just to stick to “normal” conversations about day-to-day stuff. Now I’m getting in more teasing, more flirting, more sexual suggestions and more kino. Still loads more to do but I’m getting there. Plus I’m beginning to see patterns as to how girls react, what to do next and so on. It’s slowly unravelling.
The biggest thing about this for me is that it does involve wholesale personality changes. But these changes are possible and they will come over time. It’s often the case that while I’m in set I’ll have a negative belief or not know what to say, or feel like I’m stuck at some point in the interaction. At these times I often feel like there is a wall preventing me from moving forward.
More recently I’ve become aware of this imaginary wall and can consciously break through it. After all it’s totally within my control (though sometimes unconscious) and a self-imposed limitation at the end of the day. It works like this:
Learning to talk to girls > gaining experience and skills > breaking through self-imposed limitations > wholesale personality change.
The big changes – in self-confidence, self-esteem, positive attitude – are slowly coming to me.
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Send in the Clowns!
So I was thinking of going out on Friday but I was really tired from the week before, so I decided to sack it off and spend the evening with my flatmates and neighbours taking it easy. The local bike wanted me again but I rejected her advances. I may go there one day, probably when I’m desperate and it’s too late…
On Sunday I had a random party in some ultra-chav bar in Forest Gate – yes, Forest Gate! Can you believe it? I didn’t think anyone actually lived there.
Anyway, it was fancy dress and the theme was Circus and Cabaret. I didn’t have a costume but when one of my neighbours told me she had a set of scrubs and it’s always been a dream of mine to wear some. It didn’t fit in with the theme unless you thought laterally about it … most people did and I pretty much got away with it.
At the party there weren’t loads of people there but a fair amount. I was in a little bit of a quandary as I was driving but I still managed to have a few drinks and certainly enjoyed myself.
Having spent the day in a social environment always helps when warming up for going out, and today was no exception. All my housemates / neighbours were about and we all had a good time helping to construct the cannon part of a human cannonball for someone’s costume.
Arriving there my first thought was to find the girls I wanted to hit on. The selection wasn’t great but there was certainly enough for some practice. I also had some social proof since I arrived with two fairly hot chicks, and I found myself doing my first approach and talking to the girl nearest me as soon as I arrived, which was a good warm up.
I then spent the night doing my usual joking and teasing and bantering with the chicks that I could find. And once again when I felt myself flagging or realised that I didn’t have anyone to talk to, I didn’t let it get me down and I didn’t worry about it. I knew that in a few minutes the configuration of social groups would change and I would be talking to someone else again.
I was also getting a lot more sexual earlier on in my conversations. Just joking or playing on words usually, but enough to put the topic out there. Wearing a surgeon’s outfit helped with this and role playing as well. I would role play on the subject, dropping in stuff like, “Would you like me to operate on you?” “Any symptoms of hot flushes, getting wet, sensitive skin?” which was all pointing in one direction…
I was talking to this one Danish chick who despite being Scandinavian wasn’t that hot – just about average really. A bit later I was talking to one of her friends and dropping in some sexual innuendo / role play stuff when she mentioned that it was her friend that wanted operating on…
I went back to talk to her, but realised that I didn’t find her that attractive so I gave it a miss. I was also approached by some milk-maid type girl who came on to me strong. That wasn’t anything special though, as she’d already hit on two or three other guys already. She had nice boobs and a bright face but again she wasn’t doing anything for me and at 33 and desperate, wasn’t my kind of thing.
I remember the host caressing me at one point – initiating kino you might call it – but I kind of didn’t notice it until later and as she was the host and a friend of my natural housemate (read: intimidation) I didn’t take it further.
At the end of the night there wasn’t any close but a good lot of flirting practice and some confidence building experiences.
On Sunday I had a random party in some ultra-chav bar in Forest Gate – yes, Forest Gate! Can you believe it? I didn’t think anyone actually lived there.
Anyway, it was fancy dress and the theme was Circus and Cabaret. I didn’t have a costume but when one of my neighbours told me she had a set of scrubs and it’s always been a dream of mine to wear some. It didn’t fit in with the theme unless you thought laterally about it … most people did and I pretty much got away with it.
At the party there weren’t loads of people there but a fair amount. I was in a little bit of a quandary as I was driving but I still managed to have a few drinks and certainly enjoyed myself.
Having spent the day in a social environment always helps when warming up for going out, and today was no exception. All my housemates / neighbours were about and we all had a good time helping to construct the cannon part of a human cannonball for someone’s costume.
Arriving there my first thought was to find the girls I wanted to hit on. The selection wasn’t great but there was certainly enough for some practice. I also had some social proof since I arrived with two fairly hot chicks, and I found myself doing my first approach and talking to the girl nearest me as soon as I arrived, which was a good warm up.
I then spent the night doing my usual joking and teasing and bantering with the chicks that I could find. And once again when I felt myself flagging or realised that I didn’t have anyone to talk to, I didn’t let it get me down and I didn’t worry about it. I knew that in a few minutes the configuration of social groups would change and I would be talking to someone else again.
I was also getting a lot more sexual earlier on in my conversations. Just joking or playing on words usually, but enough to put the topic out there. Wearing a surgeon’s outfit helped with this and role playing as well. I would role play on the subject, dropping in stuff like, “Would you like me to operate on you?” “Any symptoms of hot flushes, getting wet, sensitive skin?” which was all pointing in one direction…
I was talking to this one Danish chick who despite being Scandinavian wasn’t that hot – just about average really. A bit later I was talking to one of her friends and dropping in some sexual innuendo / role play stuff when she mentioned that it was her friend that wanted operating on…
I went back to talk to her, but realised that I didn’t find her that attractive so I gave it a miss. I was also approached by some milk-maid type girl who came on to me strong. That wasn’t anything special though, as she’d already hit on two or three other guys already. She had nice boobs and a bright face but again she wasn’t doing anything for me and at 33 and desperate, wasn’t my kind of thing.
I remember the host caressing me at one point – initiating kino you might call it – but I kind of didn’t notice it until later and as she was the host and a friend of my natural housemate (read: intimidation) I didn’t take it further.
At the end of the night there wasn’t any close but a good lot of flirting practice and some confidence building experiences.
Saturday, 9 May 2009
Step by Step...
So before heading out I quickly reviewed the first DVD and a half of RSD Foundations as I found last time that it put me in the right frame of mind for learning, enjoying myself and improving. Essentially what it reminded me of the frame of mind that the world is your pick up lab, and that progress comes in small pieces. I've spent far too much of my life comparing myself to others and beating myself up for it. It doesn't help to share flats with naturals that pick off hot chicks like most people step on ants, but it makes that rich tapestry look nice.
But the main thing was that I was in a good mood. We met up in Legion but then headed off to Cargo. It was still a bit empty so we went to the Hoxton Pony, that I hadn't been to since it used to be called the Pool Bar. We were at the bar and there weren't many girls, except for two sitting at the bar next to us. I was thinking of something to open with when Peter jumped in first.
Without much to do the rest of us went downstairs.
The most obvious set was a large group of girls standing in one corner, I knew I needed a warm up set so I thought I'd ask them if they were here for a birthday or something. Turns out they were just a bunch of Aussie girls out for a drink, I didn't stay in long but at least I got it out the way.
When I returned to the group Liam and Jon were talking to a random girl that was on her own, but not that hot. I joined in and Liam opened another one of the Aussie group. I used the not-hot girl to warm up some more. Liam ended up closing which was great, and when he'd finished we went back to Cargo.
When we arrived we were standing next to a group of three pretty hot girls. I was trying to think of a situational opener but nothing was coming to me, so I decided to fall back on ninjas versus pirates. It opened very well and I stuck in set for a long time. There were moments when I felt like ejecting but I stayed in there and generally made it stick pretty well. They were art history and architecture students so I spoke to them about that for a bit. There was some joking and laughing, a bit of teasing, touching and sexual innuendo, but nothing major.
However I couldn't work out how to number close. Looking back on it now I should have locked in, isolated the target, done some qualification and somehow thought of a time bridge to set up a day two, but that's all in hindsight. So I left saying that I'd see them on the dance floor later on, and they seemed to think it was a good idea.
We milled around a bit, watched some of the bands, one of which sounded distinctly average (Violens). We were hunting for sets but there wasn't much jumping out at us. Later on we sat down next to some girls that I had my eye on earlier. Eventually I opened one of them by commenting on how distinctly average the band sounded. From there she went straight into a massive surrealist diatribe, which was great as that's my sense of humour as well, but she was so high energy she was kinda leading the conversation, though by no means the whole thing.
Anyway her face wasn't that hot and eventually her and her friend went for a smoke so I moved on. We milled around for a bit more. It was getting closer to midnight and I was feeling tired as ever. It was close to leaving time as I was feeling tired, so I thought I'd find the girls I was talking to first and try and number close them. Nothing to lose...
I bumped into them walking in the opposite direction. We chatted about how we were both thinking of going home. I suggested a number close and they agreed, though they weren't sure which one's number I wanted. I went for the hottest one obviously. So asked for it, and she gave it to me but she didn't look like she was giving me her proper number; first off it had too many numbers in it and then it kinda looked like she was making it up. Hmm. I'll try it on Sunday. If it doesn't work then no big loss – at least I asked. Also, I should probably point out at this stage that she was 21, a good 11 years younger than me. Though she was nearly 22, so that's OK. And she thought I was 24...!
Returning home there was yet another unplanned house party. There was lots of gossip – who was shagging who, that kind of thing – but I was tired. Luckily I managed to convince everyone to wrap it all up not too late. It was all good.
What I learnt:
Controlling state is getting easier. A lot of the time before opening I would be feeling uncertain, bits of doubt floating around, captured by inertia. But I managed to work my way out of it generally. And then in set too, I would be a bit stuck, not knowing what to say, but I kept with it then as well. It seems that I'm learning to overcome those negative thought patterns, most importantly by knowing that I can overcome them, on a regular basis. It's all getting a little bit easier.
I number closed. Good stuff.
Something I could do better – perhaps stay out longer. Tiredness seems to catch up with me too much, hard not to do when it's the end of the week. I'd like to stay out until one or two, after all I have my car with me. That would give me more opportunities.
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