Hey guys, how's it going? Did you miss me? I know you did!
Anyway so I'm on this tour round South East Asia. What could possibly go wrong, you ask. Well it's not as straight forward as you think.
You see I went on this trip with an old friend of mine. You see, the thing is, he's a HARDCORE AFC. He has, I think, been laid, but I'm pretty sure he was a virgin until well into his 20s. Plus, as I've come to notice more and more as I've known him, he's pretty fucking negative. An example: we are lost in a tube station in Bangkok that a local has taken us through before and we get out at a wrong exit that is a total of about 25 meters away from where we want to be. His response? Not "OK, so NOW we know what the correct exit is," it's "We're fucking cretins."
A little bit harsh, I think you'll agree.
Anyway in addition to hanging out with this bundle of fun he also has a few other proclivities, such as he hates clubbing, is paranoid about getting his camera stolen (which does cost a lot but he's ultra anal about it), hates anything to do with bartering, hates stuff that isn't up to his 'creature comforts' (often happens in these parts), if something goes bad then he gets paranoid about it constantly afterwards (e.g. getting ripped off by Thai taxis) ... it kind of makes you wonder why he went on holiday. Needless to say, he thinks I'm crazy and will probably die in a ditch with a needle in my arm, or something.
Anyway, he was with me for three weeks. Then he left. So I decide to go clubbing.
I'm staying in Bangkok with one of my mate's friends - I've met him briefly before but don't know him that well. This friend-of-my-friend is Thai and knows Bangkok well, but also doesn't go clubbing. This isn't that surprising, he was always a bit of a ladies' man and pulled without needing to go to clubs, so fair play to him. Plus he's now married to an English girl (another friend of my friend). Anyway that means I'm clubbing on my own, which I actually find easier to do in foreign cities compared to London - I guess there's more of a reason for the excuse (i.e. "I'm travelling"). But when I mention that I'm about to do this, he says "Hmm, a single western man in a club in Bangkok - that's going to attract a lot of attention."
"How do you mean?" I ask.
"Well all the girls will be like that," and he gestures with his hands a crowd of people all congregating on one point. I like, though I've heard people say this before and it's not happened, but it's not a bad thing.
"But not hookers?" I check, as there are a lot of places around here like that.
"Not in the club you're going to."
And that's the thing, I'm going to a place called Bed Supperclub, which is both a restaurant and a night club that as the name suggests, has beds all around the outside. It's also the coolest place in Bangkok right now, and my main target.
So I head out. But the omens aren't good. But that also isn't a problem. There are many times before when I've been out on a night of sarging when things haven't been right for me - maybe I'm tired or early sets go badly etc. - but the real skill in this game is turning things around. And I've noticed my fellow beaver patrollers and I have been getting better and better at doing this.
So, the omens: I was tired from walking round one particular section of Bangkok, I was sweaty (though luckily I was wearing a t-shirt that hid it), I hadn't spoken to anyone in ages, I was going to a place I hadn't been before and I wasn't feeling up for it. I arrived in the club and ignoring the three second rule I bought a drink and settled in to get a feel for the place. Immediately my stomach took a turn for the worst and I had to spend a few minutes in the loo! Things weren't looking good.
So I sorted my self out and sipped my drink and let the evening run its course. I started to relax into the evening and felt better. The alcohol started working its way into my bloodstream. I bought a second drink and spoke to a girl at the bar, just general warm up chit-chat. Then I could feel the lure of the dancefloor.
I like to dance and from the reactions that I get it seems that I'm quite a good dancer. Not in the Jordan mould (star of the dancefloor) but in the "I dance like I fuck" mould - sexy. Even if I do say so myself! So hit the dancefloor and warm up. I never dance hardcore straight off, it always takes a bit of time - at my age (!) it's just a fact of life. So I dance, and often when I start dancing I notice that those around me either copy me, or up their game to match my skill, and I could see this happening. I spot a crowd of three people dancing like loons but in a good way, and tell them that they look like they're having the most fun in this club - which they are. We have a brief chat and another warm up is completed.
It's at that point that another room in the club opens so I go through and find another spot to dance. I immediately get some attention off two Thai girls dancing nearby (one of them is hot), and using my super-secret dance moves and body language (!), I reel them in. Then I notice two more, again one of which is hot, and I work my magic on them too. So now I have four girls dancing with me, and at various levels of interest, most of them vying for my attention, and I feel like a god! In fact, I get hard! Indeed, I'm so excited that I decide to text Fargo, only realising two seconds into texting that I've just ejected myself from the set - Doh! Anyway, rewind, start again.
I do some more dancing, drinking and talking, and eventually find one of the hot girls I was dancing with. I punch her lightly on the shoulder and start talking to her. I take my picture with her and have a medium-length chat. She has to go to the loo so it ends. I don't wait for her to come back but I don't see her again. Seconds later one of the less hot girls that I was dancing with repoens me and it's knd of game over. She wants me and all I have to do is escalate for her, which I duly do. My confidence was high so there was no problem really. I dance with her, touch her in a sensitive but sexual way, be dominant but gentle with her, kiss her, briefly at first then more and more. We lie down on the beds.
She's a 6 incidentally, a 7 with the drinks inside me but he has a pretty face, just a little bit plump but nothing too bad (girls that are actually fat I have a problem with, this girl just wasn't thin, if you get what I mean).
Then the club ends, she wants to come back to mine but I can't take her to mine for various reasons (not least that it's not my place, or my friend's, but a friend of a friend's). So after a bit of convincing we go back to hers.
It's just as well I've already been travelling for three weeks as I'm now used to the poverty you see here on a daily basis. This part of the world is very poor and most people live with their extended family, 6-8 people to a dwelling, 2-3 to a room, usually the kitchen/living room combined. We get back to hers and in the two rooms on the ground floor, there's five people sleeping, including both her parents! Her half sister has to let us in but there's no problem, luckily everyone else is fast asleep.
The good news is that this girl has her own room. The bad news is that she doesn't have a mattress, or indeed any "mood" lighting. Well, the floor and fluorescent strips it is, then. Nice!
In the taxi back she was jerking me off - literally, it hurt so I had to tell her to stop! I don't know the Thai word for "gentle," or any Thai words at all for that matter - and my fingers found my way to her pussy. I spoke some hardore David Shade shit into her ear and she was desperate by the time we were back.
I fucked her on the floor. It wasn't very comfortable and as I do when I haven't had sex for a long time, I came pretty quickly. I pulled out and needed to pee, but was desperate for cock and tried to push my limp dick back in, saying it didn't matter! I calmed her down and went to the loo. She had a shower and it was round two. I fucked her pretty hard and she came quick, hard and loud. I had my arms wrapped round her back pulling her in, at one point pushing her head down from the top so I could ram her harder (I disovered this move with my last girlfriend). She loved it. I came hard and she was still coming for a while afterwards. I had bruises on my knees.
She told me she loved me, which was understandable but a little premature I think, and then, exhausted from the fucking and drink, she fell fast asleep. I tried to wake her up as she had to let me out and lock the door behind me, but she wouldn't move. I let myself out and hoped that no one would rob the place (she texted me later and didn't mention anything about this, so i guess it was all OK in the end!), and took a taxi home.
Another flag to add to Columbia, South Africa, Lithuania and of course the UK: Thailand.
Monday, 13 October 2008
Friday, 19 September 2008
The Great Asian Ladyboy Hunt Begins!
So in the few weeks since coming back from Europe I haven't really been doing much sarging for a variety of reasons, mainly as I've had my normal social life rearing it's rather cute and attractive head at me.
So not many posts here. And not many more to come either, as tomorrow morning at 6 I have to wake up and leave to go travelling through Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia for five weeks. Such is life.
So there probably won't be many posts here, unless there are some particularly awesome nights of pick up, and I happen to be near a computer shortly afterwards. Which seems unlikely. I may try and post some comments on here using free wifi and my phone, but it might be more hassle than it's worth.
However I will also be creating a separate blog for my trip (and my subsequent one through India shortly afterwards) so I'll add a link to that one from here, once I've created it.
Keep up the good work while I'm away!
EDIT: OK here it is: http://charliereaytrip08.blogspot.com/
So not many posts here. And not many more to come either, as tomorrow morning at 6 I have to wake up and leave to go travelling through Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia for five weeks. Such is life.
So there probably won't be many posts here, unless there are some particularly awesome nights of pick up, and I happen to be near a computer shortly afterwards. Which seems unlikely. I may try and post some comments on here using free wifi and my phone, but it might be more hassle than it's worth.
However I will also be creating a separate blog for my trip (and my subsequent one through India shortly afterwards) so I'll add a link to that one from here, once I've created it.
Keep up the good work while I'm away!
EDIT: OK here it is: http://charliereaytrip08.blogspot.com/
Saturday, 13 September 2008
The Return of SuperKiril
So SuperKiril has made it over to London and it’s the least that Fargo and I can do to return the favour of showing us the cool spots in Amsterdam, by doing the same thing for him in London.
Before I head out a bunch of bad things happen and I’m in a pretty bad mood. I’m annoyed as I’m out of state and worry that the night’s going to be a let down.
But then I think about all the times that I’ve felt similar before (be it tiredness or negative state) and I realise that on all those occasions, how I felt at the start of the night bears no relation on actually how good the night is. So this sole realisation allows me to significantly get over myself and split the odd infinitive.
I talk to Fargo about this later and he says that most nights of going out he feels negative, doubting himself and so on. I think it must happen to all of us, certainly the junior members of the community. The important learning is that it doesn’t matter.
I fuel myself with Lucozade and meet up with Fargo up east. Kiril and one of his colleagues who is also over are already installed in Hoxton Square Bar and Kitchen, so we go and meet them there. We ease into the venue and start to get into the mood. But it’s a bit difficult.
The dancefloor is way too loud and full of blokes. We go back to the main bar but sit ourselves in a place where we can’t talk to anyone else. We all have a chat together though and catch up with what’s been happening since the three weeks that we last met. But there’s no action and the guests are bored so we need to mix things up a bit.
Because Kiril is Kiril (i.e. an alternative Bulgarian impish rock star) I know he’ll suit Dream Bags and Jaguar Shoes very well, so we decide to head over there. It’s a bit packed but we find ourselves a little space and join in the fun. Where we’re standing is actually quite good as we’re not getting pushed around in the main thoroughfare but there is still a bit of passing traffic and thus girls to talk to.
Of course the catch is that I’m with guests, and guests that don’t know anything about game, its processes or theories. Despite the fact that Kiril gets laid, literally, like a rock star, and the other guy, Jan-Martin, is keen to try to pick up girls (even though we later find out he has a girlfriend!).
So it’s a slightly unusual situation but we work with it as best we can. Fargo is off somewhere talking to some random people, working on his networking game that he instigated at a Stevie Wonder gig the night before. I open up a couple of girls – literally the girls that walk past – with my natural / direct opener “Hey, how’s it going?” It works two times out of three I think. We also set up a little game where we pretend Kiril is a famous Bulgarian rock star, although he doesn’t really buy into it himself! I was role-playing with one girl about how we were going to go to Mars, with EasyRocket, which provides a regular budget service. There were jokes about the atmosphere being a bit thin, the weather not that great, and the Martians always planning to invade and so on. Lots of fun was had.
It came to closing time so we went hunting for other bars. We completely failed to get into Tea by pretending to be smokers and ended up going to 54 on Commercial Street. I did some more direct / natural game on one girl there. I can’t remember what I opened with but I had a bit of a chat with her and spun and salsa’d with her. She was friends with the DJ I think but wasn’t with anyone else. Fargo then came in and completely shat all over the set by telling me to lock in and physically moving me about – which in my mind was completely irrelevant and totally unnecessary – and I lost her. I hope he never, ever does that again. However she came back again later and we continued from where we left off.
I think there was another natural break in the conversation and Fargo then told me that she wasn’t that hot. I then started to doubt whether she was and I couldn’t actually remember what she looked like (in fact after the first break I couldn’t even remember what dress she was wearing) – which to be honest probably didn’t bode well. Although I was a bit drunk by this stage.
Anyway after a while I kind of lost the momentum and didn’t take it any further. The guests were tired and wanted to go home so we quit. It was about 3.30 after all.
What went well
Before I head out a bunch of bad things happen and I’m in a pretty bad mood. I’m annoyed as I’m out of state and worry that the night’s going to be a let down.
But then I think about all the times that I’ve felt similar before (be it tiredness or negative state) and I realise that on all those occasions, how I felt at the start of the night bears no relation on actually how good the night is. So this sole realisation allows me to significantly get over myself and split the odd infinitive.
I talk to Fargo about this later and he says that most nights of going out he feels negative, doubting himself and so on. I think it must happen to all of us, certainly the junior members of the community. The important learning is that it doesn’t matter.
I fuel myself with Lucozade and meet up with Fargo up east. Kiril and one of his colleagues who is also over are already installed in Hoxton Square Bar and Kitchen, so we go and meet them there. We ease into the venue and start to get into the mood. But it’s a bit difficult.
The dancefloor is way too loud and full of blokes. We go back to the main bar but sit ourselves in a place where we can’t talk to anyone else. We all have a chat together though and catch up with what’s been happening since the three weeks that we last met. But there’s no action and the guests are bored so we need to mix things up a bit.
Because Kiril is Kiril (i.e. an alternative Bulgarian impish rock star) I know he’ll suit Dream Bags and Jaguar Shoes very well, so we decide to head over there. It’s a bit packed but we find ourselves a little space and join in the fun. Where we’re standing is actually quite good as we’re not getting pushed around in the main thoroughfare but there is still a bit of passing traffic and thus girls to talk to.
Of course the catch is that I’m with guests, and guests that don’t know anything about game, its processes or theories. Despite the fact that Kiril gets laid, literally, like a rock star, and the other guy, Jan-Martin, is keen to try to pick up girls (even though we later find out he has a girlfriend!).
So it’s a slightly unusual situation but we work with it as best we can. Fargo is off somewhere talking to some random people, working on his networking game that he instigated at a Stevie Wonder gig the night before. I open up a couple of girls – literally the girls that walk past – with my natural / direct opener “Hey, how’s it going?” It works two times out of three I think. We also set up a little game where we pretend Kiril is a famous Bulgarian rock star, although he doesn’t really buy into it himself! I was role-playing with one girl about how we were going to go to Mars, with EasyRocket, which provides a regular budget service. There were jokes about the atmosphere being a bit thin, the weather not that great, and the Martians always planning to invade and so on. Lots of fun was had.
It came to closing time so we went hunting for other bars. We completely failed to get into Tea by pretending to be smokers and ended up going to 54 on Commercial Street. I did some more direct / natural game on one girl there. I can’t remember what I opened with but I had a bit of a chat with her and spun and salsa’d with her. She was friends with the DJ I think but wasn’t with anyone else. Fargo then came in and completely shat all over the set by telling me to lock in and physically moving me about – which in my mind was completely irrelevant and totally unnecessary – and I lost her. I hope he never, ever does that again. However she came back again later and we continued from where we left off.
I think there was another natural break in the conversation and Fargo then told me that she wasn’t that hot. I then started to doubt whether she was and I couldn’t actually remember what she looked like (in fact after the first break I couldn’t even remember what dress she was wearing) – which to be honest probably didn’t bode well. Although I was a bit drunk by this stage.
Anyway after a while I kind of lost the momentum and didn’t take it any further. The guests were tired and wanted to go home so we quit. It was about 3.30 after all.
What went well
- Opened with ease, and felt in control of the early parts of the interaction. The little chunks of what to do are slowly falling into place.
- Escalation, maybe opened more sets
- Did pick up in an unusual situation, i.e. with guys who don’t know about the “community”
Thursday, 11 September 2008
Flexing the old muscles again
So I’ve been away on holiday and then came back and was promptly ill for about a week and a half. So basically I hadn’t done any proper sarging for about two and a half weeks. Plus with my illness I had basically been confined to my flat and hadn’t spoken to anyone except my flatmates. So I was feeling a little rusty and in terms of sarging I felt as though I was back to square one.
I was also feeling a little anxious and wary of going out; that I might suck and that it would be too much like hard work (a self-fulfilling prophesy if I ever heard one). But I chose to ignore these thoughts for now and give it a go anyway. I remembered the lessons, my latest theories and where I was at before the holiday: Basically to use the two standard openers as warm ups (hair and pirates versus ninjas), to use social proof game early on in the night, to keep talking to sets for as long as possible rather than going for five a night, and to know that I usually have more interest from girls than I realise, and thus to escalate sooner.
Well that was all well and good but logistics threw a spanner in the works. We were going to go to Cheapskates, but by the time we arrived there was already a queue and they were only letting in people with NUS cards. We were never going to get in. So we went to a series of other venues to try to find somewhere with the sweet, sweet ladies. We go to Roadhouse but arrive after 10 and we have to pay, so we chose not to go in. We go to Porterhouse and it’s full of guys. We fear that the England game is going to be like Euro 2008 all over again. Jewel in Covent Garden is empty. O’Neill’s is slightly less empty but still mainly blokes. Jewel in Piccadilly is slightly better but Matt (a new guy who is an approach machine) opens the only good set and a bit of creepy touching gets him blown out, so the venue is spent for us.
I’m this close to calling it a night but the guys convince me to give Tiger Tiger one last try. We go in and at least it’s busy. It’s too late to use our standard social proof game, so we improvise and do what we can. Matt approaches a few people and his looks and his height get him somewhere, but for whatever reason nothing sticks. I can see him doing well quite quickly though. However I fear that they way that he touches people may be hindering him – I saw that in Jewel and when he said goodbye to me he was stroking my arm like I was a cat or something – it was a bit strange! I’m sure he’ll learn soon though.
So there are a group of people on the dancefloor and there’s one black girl that is causing a scene by grinding on loads of guys and being the centre of attention. Matt and Jordan join in the general mêlée. There’s a girl standing next to me watching the show as well. I ask her if they’re friends of hers and she tells me they’re over from South Africa for a trip. I have a bit of a chat with her about it all, and have a brief dance, giving her a spin and so on. She’s friendly and into me but not hot at all so I don’t take it anywhere. By now we pretty much have control of the dancefloor and are having a bit of fun. I can feel the old skills coming back to me.
I like to dance and while on holiday my dancefloor game reached a peak, where I could have kiss closed the Dutch girl with a boyfriend, but chickened out (dammit!). But after the time off I was feeling a bit stiff again. I stood and watched for a bit, tried to dance but knew I was looking lame, but then slowly I could feel myself relax and get back into the swing of things a bit more.
There was an Asian girl with a cute petite body that was doing some impressive breakdancing (inspired by Jordan no doubt!). I danced with her for a bit, she was giving me some mixed signals. She was dancing with me one minute then looking away the next. I asked her if the group where she was looking was friends of hers but she said they weren’t. As I went to leave she told me she works there and would be there at the weekend if I came back. I should have stuck in there and escalated.
I called it a night but for a first night back when I thought I’d be rusty (and was confounded by logistics) it went particularly well.
What went well
I was also feeling a little anxious and wary of going out; that I might suck and that it would be too much like hard work (a self-fulfilling prophesy if I ever heard one). But I chose to ignore these thoughts for now and give it a go anyway. I remembered the lessons, my latest theories and where I was at before the holiday: Basically to use the two standard openers as warm ups (hair and pirates versus ninjas), to use social proof game early on in the night, to keep talking to sets for as long as possible rather than going for five a night, and to know that I usually have more interest from girls than I realise, and thus to escalate sooner.
Well that was all well and good but logistics threw a spanner in the works. We were going to go to Cheapskates, but by the time we arrived there was already a queue and they were only letting in people with NUS cards. We were never going to get in. So we went to a series of other venues to try to find somewhere with the sweet, sweet ladies. We go to Roadhouse but arrive after 10 and we have to pay, so we chose not to go in. We go to Porterhouse and it’s full of guys. We fear that the England game is going to be like Euro 2008 all over again. Jewel in Covent Garden is empty. O’Neill’s is slightly less empty but still mainly blokes. Jewel in Piccadilly is slightly better but Matt (a new guy who is an approach machine) opens the only good set and a bit of creepy touching gets him blown out, so the venue is spent for us.
I’m this close to calling it a night but the guys convince me to give Tiger Tiger one last try. We go in and at least it’s busy. It’s too late to use our standard social proof game, so we improvise and do what we can. Matt approaches a few people and his looks and his height get him somewhere, but for whatever reason nothing sticks. I can see him doing well quite quickly though. However I fear that they way that he touches people may be hindering him – I saw that in Jewel and when he said goodbye to me he was stroking my arm like I was a cat or something – it was a bit strange! I’m sure he’ll learn soon though.
So there are a group of people on the dancefloor and there’s one black girl that is causing a scene by grinding on loads of guys and being the centre of attention. Matt and Jordan join in the general mêlée. There’s a girl standing next to me watching the show as well. I ask her if they’re friends of hers and she tells me they’re over from South Africa for a trip. I have a bit of a chat with her about it all, and have a brief dance, giving her a spin and so on. She’s friendly and into me but not hot at all so I don’t take it anywhere. By now we pretty much have control of the dancefloor and are having a bit of fun. I can feel the old skills coming back to me.
I like to dance and while on holiday my dancefloor game reached a peak, where I could have kiss closed the Dutch girl with a boyfriend, but chickened out (dammit!). But after the time off I was feeling a bit stiff again. I stood and watched for a bit, tried to dance but knew I was looking lame, but then slowly I could feel myself relax and get back into the swing of things a bit more.
There was an Asian girl with a cute petite body that was doing some impressive breakdancing (inspired by Jordan no doubt!). I danced with her for a bit, she was giving me some mixed signals. She was dancing with me one minute then looking away the next. I asked her if the group where she was looking was friends of hers but she said they weren’t. As I went to leave she told me she works there and would be there at the weekend if I came back. I should have stuck in there and escalated.
I called it a night but for a first night back when I thought I’d be rusty (and was confounded by logistics) it went particularly well.
What went well
- Turned around bad state and thoughts into a good night.
- Forced myself to stay out and escalate further
- Instigated dancefloor game and social proof in a different manner than usual.
Monday, 8 September 2008
Thoughts from the Sick Bed
OK so I’m slowly getting better but not quick enough to be able to go out on the weekend (including my birthday!) which sucked. At least now I’m on to eating solids like chips, donuts, garlic bread and chocolate biscuits. Yum! But I thought I write a post about a few things that have been running around my head.
The worst thing about being ill is that it puts your life on hold. When you hear of other guys going out and having fun it frustrates you and makes you jealous. Which is like a bad thing and stuff. There are two things to take from that.
One is that it provides motivation to go out once everything is back to normal, and get to work on playing catch up. The other thing is the old concept of internal versus external validation.
When I was on holiday with Fargo it was funny because he is strongly focussed on external validation (or rather, competition), and I’m more internally validated (though not 100% of course). So we joked about that and teased each other about it. But there is an important point there. The external validation and competition is largely determined by factors that are out of your control. After all we all know that the difference between a good and bad night can depend a lot on external factors, such as how many girls are around, whether they’ve had a bad day or not, logistics and so on. There are also factors that you are responsible for but for whatever reason you can’t get them working for you on the day, like your state or your body language.
And then when you really think about it, there are always people that you can compare yourself to that are better than you in some way or another. Like X may be better at opening, Y is better at kiss closing and Z is better at day 2s or whatever. At the end of the day, if all this comparison is only making you frustrated, exasperated or insecure, it serves no purpose. And there are hundreds of reasons why other people may be better than you at something, learning from it is good but focussing on it won’t necessarily help with your own progress.
Also if you’re competing for the sake of your own ego, i.e. to prove to yourself that you’re justified in thinking that you’re better than everyone else, then you’re going to deliberately want to ignore any lessons you can learn from other people who are better than you, because you don’t believe that they actually are. If you get over your ego and see things as they are rather than as you think they should be, you find more information that can help you.
So the key here is balance. If you’re only focussed on external validation and competition you’re constantly fighting with events outside of yourself, though it can provide some motivation. But the key is to focus on yourself and your progress, irrespective of whether other people are developing or not.
The second point that has had me thinking is that “shit happens.” By this I mean that you have good days and you have bad days, and the key thing to remember is that bad days still happen to even the very best guys. If you go out on a bootcamp and see your instructor approach girls, they won’t have a 100% hit rate from every girl they talk to. No one does, it’s almost impossible, no matter how good their game.
The mistake I think some people make is to think that progress in this field is linear. Over a long period of time and from a good few feet back, it may look that way, but in reality it is not a gradual, smooth line upwards.
George Leonard’s book Mastery talks about the process of learning a new skill and how periods of progress are interspersed with plateaus. In terms of pick up and bottom line results each session that you go out, you’re going to see a graph like a stock market – ups and downs all over the place but with a gradual trend upwards.
What does this tell us? Don’t freak out over bad days. They happen. Such is life. Get over it, and get over your emotional reactions to it. Tomorrow is another day.
The last thing I wanted to mention is something that reinforces a point I made in my previous post from watching the Pick Up Artist. I’ve been watching some clips from Keys to the VIP on Youtube, in particular this clip, which I think is awesome. Look at the eye contact, and the body language, the touching and the frame that he has. Now to be fair the guy’s clearly good looking (and she’s clearly looking to get laid) but even so, a lot to learn here. I especially love the speech he does at about 1:38 “Somebody for once can make something happen and make something happen big!”
Anyway once again what this shows, is that pick up can happen very quickly. Five minute kiss closes are the norm amongst good players. This is my long term aim and goal.
Happy hunting.
The worst thing about being ill is that it puts your life on hold. When you hear of other guys going out and having fun it frustrates you and makes you jealous. Which is like a bad thing and stuff. There are two things to take from that.
One is that it provides motivation to go out once everything is back to normal, and get to work on playing catch up. The other thing is the old concept of internal versus external validation.
When I was on holiday with Fargo it was funny because he is strongly focussed on external validation (or rather, competition), and I’m more internally validated (though not 100% of course). So we joked about that and teased each other about it. But there is an important point there. The external validation and competition is largely determined by factors that are out of your control. After all we all know that the difference between a good and bad night can depend a lot on external factors, such as how many girls are around, whether they’ve had a bad day or not, logistics and so on. There are also factors that you are responsible for but for whatever reason you can’t get them working for you on the day, like your state or your body language.
And then when you really think about it, there are always people that you can compare yourself to that are better than you in some way or another. Like X may be better at opening, Y is better at kiss closing and Z is better at day 2s or whatever. At the end of the day, if all this comparison is only making you frustrated, exasperated or insecure, it serves no purpose. And there are hundreds of reasons why other people may be better than you at something, learning from it is good but focussing on it won’t necessarily help with your own progress.
Also if you’re competing for the sake of your own ego, i.e. to prove to yourself that you’re justified in thinking that you’re better than everyone else, then you’re going to deliberately want to ignore any lessons you can learn from other people who are better than you, because you don’t believe that they actually are. If you get over your ego and see things as they are rather than as you think they should be, you find more information that can help you.
So the key here is balance. If you’re only focussed on external validation and competition you’re constantly fighting with events outside of yourself, though it can provide some motivation. But the key is to focus on yourself and your progress, irrespective of whether other people are developing or not.
The second point that has had me thinking is that “shit happens.” By this I mean that you have good days and you have bad days, and the key thing to remember is that bad days still happen to even the very best guys. If you go out on a bootcamp and see your instructor approach girls, they won’t have a 100% hit rate from every girl they talk to. No one does, it’s almost impossible, no matter how good their game.
The mistake I think some people make is to think that progress in this field is linear. Over a long period of time and from a good few feet back, it may look that way, but in reality it is not a gradual, smooth line upwards.
George Leonard’s book Mastery talks about the process of learning a new skill and how periods of progress are interspersed with plateaus. In terms of pick up and bottom line results each session that you go out, you’re going to see a graph like a stock market – ups and downs all over the place but with a gradual trend upwards.
What does this tell us? Don’t freak out over bad days. They happen. Such is life. Get over it, and get over your emotional reactions to it. Tomorrow is another day.
The last thing I wanted to mention is something that reinforces a point I made in my previous post from watching the Pick Up Artist. I’ve been watching some clips from Keys to the VIP on Youtube, in particular this clip, which I think is awesome. Look at the eye contact, and the body language, the touching and the frame that he has. Now to be fair the guy’s clearly good looking (and she’s clearly looking to get laid) but even so, a lot to learn here. I especially love the speech he does at about 1:38 “Somebody for once can make something happen and make something happen big!”
Anyway once again what this shows, is that pick up can happen very quickly. Five minute kiss closes are the norm amongst good players. This is my long term aim and goal.
Happy hunting.
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