I'm Going Back to the Start

So I’m back in Buenos Aires. I’m staying at this hostel that has air conditioning, and as a result is a ton better than the last place I stayed, where I was covered in sweat the whole time. And the other good thing about it is that it is a social place, so as Radiohead once correctly said, Meeting People is Easy.

One thing I’ve learnt about travelling in that it pays to say Hi to everyone you meet. I don’t always do this, as there are going to be times when you’re tired, hungover, sick, or possibly all three and frankly can’t be arsed, but you get the idea. I noticed this first when I was in Thailand just over a year ago, and I said Hi to a couple of girls just in passing, thinking nothing of it, and then later on they came up and started talking to me in a bar that evening.

It’s simple, it’s obvious, but a man needs to be told.

So back to Buenos Aires and I can’t remember exactly when it was but sometime before yesterday I was in the lift and a girl got in with me. She was tall, slender, tanned, and fairly pretty although she had a nose like the characters in Avatar – i.e. a bit wide. But still, you would.

I was actually feeling tired at the time, but then I feel tired most of the time, but anyway that’s not the point. I was tired and not feeling great but I managed to get a quick, “Hey, how’s it going?” out. We had a very brief chat and found out we were both from London before she left the lift. I think I may have been able to crack a joke in that time.

One side note is that my humour skills are, like, so hot right now? As well as meeting people – on this trip I have been meeting people and getting on well with them like my life depended on it. The chickens are coming home to roost. I love it.

Anyway I met this girl briefly and that was it. In my unreliable memory I think there might have been a bit of attraction there but, as I found out later, there was massive attraction. It seems like I’m getting more of that too. There was this Swiss girl in Puerto Varas... but that’s another story, hopefully one I can come back to. I will let you know.

So fast forward to last night. I was once again tired as I had to get up at 6.30 to catch a ferry I’d booked so I could go to Uruguay (Homer Simpson: U R GAY) and back in the same day. Was it worth it for the stamp in the passport? Well, probably, yes. Anyway so I’d come back from Uruguay and tried to sleep but couldn’t. It was getting to around going out time and all my roommates were out so I had to find some new friends to molest. I went down to the communal area and stole a Pepsi from the fridge (you’re meant to pay, but no one was checking) and sat down and drank it.

From where I was sitting I listened to the conversations of the people around me and found one table with about 8 English speakers on it. I popped over and said, “Mind if I join you guys?” which is my trademarked, 100% field tested social circle opener (c) me 2010 and no returns. Of course this is travelling and they did. I got talking to some Australian guy who looked like exactly a tanned, older Frodo / Elijah Wood. He was the usual alpha Aussie guy but OK to talk to.

So I hung out with those guys for a bit and they invited me out to join them for dinner at a steak restaurant. So we went to the restaurant and it was only when I got there that I noticed that one of the girls was the Avatar girl from the lift. She was immediately looking at me with a big smile and a grin on her face and I was thinking to myself, why is this getting so fucking ridiculously easy for me right now? I knew it was on then and it was only a matter of logistics.

So we had the meal and then there was talk of going to a club, but we went back to the hostel first to drink rum. So we did that and when we sat down I found that she was next to me. So of course there was top class flirting and teasing and a bit of touching and it was just so on it was untrue.

Eventually we made our way to the club and it was OK but a hip hop night which isn’t my favourite music for clubbing but I can get by with anything really. We entered and went to the bar and the girls went to the loos as they were bursting. We were making jokes about having wee babies. So they left and I sorted out my drink and waited for them to return like we’d arranged. I waited for a while but by the time I’d finished my small can of beer they hadn’t returned, so I went for a wonder around the club.

Eventually Avatar chick tapped me on the shoulder as she noticed me walk past. I turned round and started talking to her and then within about two minutes we were making out. I love making out, I love ravaging the women as I make all their desires about a hot, passionate, sexually confident man some true. They want to be taken and I take them. Kissing, biting, scratching (though not painfully), licking, rubbing, grabbing, squeezing, I put it all in there and they fucking love it. She had a really long tongue as well which was kind of weird but I went with it.

And then we spent the next couple of hours basically making out hardcore and then “going to look for our friends” which we’d lost and moving to another part of the club and doing the same thing. She was quite feisty so loved being dominated. She was also taller than me which was cool as I haven’t kissed many girls that are taller than me. There was one funny bit when one of my favourite songs – Get Busy by Sean Paul – came on so I turned her round, bent her over and started grinding her like I was doing her doggy style, but with clothes on. I started slapping her arse and then some guy standing next to me also started slapping her arse too! Classic.

At another point we were looking for friends from a balcony overlooking the main dancefloor and she was behind me while we were still holding hands. From here I moved to lifting up her dress and rubbing her crotch through her panties while pretending to look. It was our little secret and no one else knew what was going on.

So anyway this went on for a while and then eventually we did find the others and we all kinda decided to go home. We took a cab back to the hostel and we were kinda stuck. There was nowhere to go. I kissed her against the wall and fingered her for a bit. We then found a fire escape but can you guess what happened? Yes I couldn’t get hard so we didn’t fuck. At that point we kinda called it a night. So if it hadn’t been for my performance issues it would have been another lay.

One funny thing she told me was that she kinda considered my “Hey, how’s it going?” opener to be like Joey from Friends’ “How YOU doin’?” line which just goes to show, anything can work. Plus I like totally have the skills and everything. Yeah.

But what’s interesting about this for me is that the attraction was there right from the start, and I didn’t really have to do anything. And apart from her nose – which wasn’t too bad really – she was definitely one of the hottest girls I’ve been with which is a good thing, as I need to get with hotter chicks.

EDIT: It was her last night in South America too. So three of the four girls I've kissed / fucked here have been on their final night, and the fourth was Argentinean.