Monday, 4 May 2009

A nice day for a white wedding

Weddings, eh? The families, the romance, and from what everyone says a veritable fuck-fest in the making for the single people out there.

Theoretically, at least.

It's Monday, I'm in Bilbao, I've done the Guggenheim and now I've got about 24 hours to kill and there's very little to do. So what better that to eat up the hours with a couple of field reports.

Two weekends ago I was in Gloucestershire for a friend's wedding. He's the guy I went to Amsterdam with for the stag do a few weeks ago. There was about 100 people or so, and I knew all of the friends on the groom's side of the family already. To cut a long story short there was only one single girl there (and I think one single guy – me). She was my mate's younger sister and though she was tall and slim, she had exactly the same mannerisms as my mate and his twin brother, and that kinda put me off a bit. Either way, nothing happened but I had a great time and we all had some top fun.

Last Saturday was my cousin's wedding in a city called Tudela in Spain, about 200 km south of San Sebastian and about 50 km or so west of Zaragoza. We had the full Catholic wedding in the local church which was actually really good and, strangely enough, funny. And then we had the meal and reception back at the hotel we were staying at.

After the meal we moved on to the disco of sorts with about 50 Inglese and 100+ EspaƱol. Unfortunately the bride – who was pretty much your classic hot Spanish chick – didn't have any sisters. But there were quite a few other hot chicks there that deserved a go.

I spent most of the evening talking random shit to just about everybody, enjoying the night and having fun with my brother as well as everyone else. An opportunity presented itself early in the evening when someone got my cousin on stage and forced him to sing It's not unusual. Well, unfortunately he can't sing, but I know a man who can. So I went up on stage to help him out, and more or less got away with it.

This of course meant that just about everyone knew who I was, and that basically I was the shit when it came to Tom Jones karaoke. How do you spell DHV? So anyway I continued to chat to everyone and also find out who was single. The rest of the night went pretty much like this:

Meet girl, dance with her a bit, chat with her a bit, ask her if she's married, find out that she is. Repeat ad nauseam.

That went on all night. Yes, once again, I don't think there was actually any single girls there at all. Fate, why do you tempt me so?!?!?

However there was a (married) Dutch girl there who I was chatting to, and who I subsequently noticed was checking me out from across the dance floor. I spoke to her a couple times more and she kept on paying me attention. Incidentally, she was the classic hot Dutch girl – tall, slim, blond and blue-eyed and pretty, the type that I've always wanted to fuck really hard. Eventually when I saw here eying me up again I told her, “Why do you have to be married?” “I know,” she said. And I gave her a hug and a bit of a kiss on the neck, which she didn't mind at all. Ach, mensch!

The evening ended up with my brother scoring some coke from the Basque guy who was our waiter at the meal. The evening became more and more random, and it included Jaegerbombs, throwing up in the toilet, arm wrestling and having a conversation with some random guy that didn't speak any English, and I didn't speak any Spanish. That conversation lasted for about half an hour.

The next day was spent traveling with my parents from Tudela via Pamplona to San Sebastian, and ultimately to Bilbao. Tudela is hot and sunny, Bilbao is cloudy and cool. I've already seen the Guggenheim. There's not much else to do.

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