E-Bow the Letter

I've been doing some thinking. I received an email from a friend, and...

OK I knew when I saw the message title I was gonna type a long response... you have been warned! But this is my breakdown of where I'm at with game and what I need to do to take the next step.

It's funny, having had a lot of time away and really taking myself somewhere else mentally I've come back with a lot of realisations and resolutions that were washing around in my brain and that I ended up typing into my laptop first thing Christmas morning. A bit weird? Maybe, but whatever...!

Anyway so the first thing that I realised is that I need to spend less time on the computer. I've made surfing the web looking at interesting but pointless stuff an art form. I realised this as I came back from SE Asia and it's something I need to improve. Despite knowing this, since coming back from India I've been hitting the keyboard with a vengance. I need to rationalise what I do online and use my time doing other more productive things.

The other thing that is clear from the trip and also what everyone can see from Jordan's progress is to get out of my comfort zone. I know I'm guilty of not doing this enough and I think we can all gain from this (maybe it's the only way?). There's a couple of important sub-points to this.

In the book The Art of Learning Josh Waitzkin describes the idea of "investment in loss" as pushing yourself to do things that you fail at to (a) learn to not let failure affect you adversely, and (b) to learn how to do the thing you currently can't.

The situation he describes is when he practised fighting a guy who was bigger and stronger than him, who also fought dirty. At first whenever he fought this guy he would get slammed against the floor. After a while he became used to the pain so he wasn't affected by that. Then after a while he began to see the patterns in how this guy fought. Once he'd seen the patterns, he could come up with strategies to counteract them. Eventually he implemented them and could beat the guy.

In game, knowing how to react well in different situations is key. The only way to learn how to do this is by opening lots of sets and trying stuff out, perceiving the reactions and adjusting as necessary. (We all know this but it's worth reminding myself)

The other point is is the rule of thumb from the above theory: open every set no matter how hard. If nothing else the ego will rise above being rejected and more comfortable in itself. Once that happens new patterns can be perceived and game can start to roll full tilt.

I met this guy called Evan while travelling, who though a distinctly average looking guy, was a massive player thanks to his character. Interestinly one thing that he said he used to do was aim to get rejected from every girl in the club (not a new idea but one he came up with himself). It worked very well for him.

Another problem I have is ejecting from set too early. Dammit, I'm going to learn a few routines. Yeah we all know the routines v. natural arguements, and that the truth is somewhere in between. Jordan uses learnt and home made routines. Most of my natural friends do too. I gotta get my head into Magic Bullets or something. Soul wrote a good article on going direct in day game (http://www.tsbmag.com/2008/12/16/how-to-make-a-direct-opener-work/), and at Jordan's talk he broke down kino escalation pretty well. I might type up those notes at some point.

I also want to practice visualisations more to help with my inner game, and I am aware that I have deservedness issues with women (yes I know, poor me!) which hopefully this will help with.

A third point is noticing and acting on IOIs. When this happens currently I freeze and have no idea what to do. Well investment in loss and all of that. I need to just do something and find out what works. This is the lamest part of my game currently. I had three missed opportunities with hot girls while I was in Goa. What the fuck was I thinking? Lessons learned, lessons learned...

I also need to lower my standards, partly to give me more action, but also because frankly I'm using that as an excuse not to act.

And I need to smoke less weed.

I've already given up wanking and I'm going to give up alcohol for January, partly as a self control test, but also as a health experiment.

I've also made some discoveries in my fitness regime but as it's not proper game I won't describe it here. Ask me if you're interested.

So there you go, make of it what you will. Feel free to share your feedback or resolutions if you want, and also to push me into set when I'm making lame excuses...! I hope I can motivate you and do the same in reverse.